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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you are going to set up a group chat then everyone should be included in it?

6 replies

ManonBlackbeak · 21/02/2019 18:20

Just that really. I'm part of a hobby group that meets up once a week, we have a straightforward Facebook group but yesterday I also found out that there is a group chat which has been set up by a particular member that myself and several other people haven't been included in. Generally everyone is very nice, although as you'd expect I chat more to some people than others, but this seems a bit off and has soured it for me. A few times things have been said which made me think I'm out of the loop somewhat but this why.

The person who mentioned it assumed I was also in it, and was surprised that I wasn't. It might be a genuine oversight, but I can't imagine setting up a chat for a hobby and not including everyone in it. It also seems a bit at odds with the ethos of the group. I'd raise it but I think even that would sour everything, which until now has been really positive.

Really I can't work out if I'm just being oversensitive? Could I ask to be included in it? Would I sound like a dick? Surely this kind of stuff belongs in the playground?

OP posts:
fezzesarecool · 21/02/2019 18:22

Just ask

Say I didn’t realise you had a group here’s my number to please add

StealthPolarBear · 21/02/2019 18:24

Yes ikwym. I'm on a school year chat and the only criteria for joining is having a child in the relevant year. If people weren't included I wouldn't be impressed. Different from having a smaller group of friends.

ManonBlackbeak · 21/02/2019 18:56

I really don't think it's been done maliciously, but for some reason it's got my back up. I think it's a Facebook messenger group, as opposed to a Whatts app thing. So no excuse for not having my number really.

OP posts:
Pugwash1 · 21/02/2019 19:07

We belong to a few group chats for different things and this has happened to us in the past. After acting surprised and saying that it sounded like a good idea they realised we had been left off by accident. Has happened to lots of people on the different groups. It's never been malicious and has always just been an oversight.

DoJo · 22/02/2019 00:29

Is it a hobby chat group or just one which is for friends who have met through the hobby?

Designerenvy · 22/02/2019 00:41

Ye have a general chat group for ye all. It's obvious that a few have got closer / became friends and set up their own chat group, just for them.
I dont see the problem with this. It's not like you're the only one excluded from this group chat....you said several of you are.
Are people not allowed to have a separate group from the whole group ?

Yabu .

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