Bottle and cosleeping at 8yo

[Daffodildainty]

My friend still gives her 3 DS of which the eldest is 8 a bottle of milk at night. The 3 DS also co sleep with her while DH is another room. AIBU to think this can’t be psychologically or physically healthy

I disagree that it's most likely for the mum's sake.

My son is 10 and still asks for me to lie with him while he falls asleep. In many cultures over the world, it's common for extended co-sleeping.

Are you sure you haven't misunderstood something?

The co-sleeping isn't that unusual if there are younger siblings too. And it's not that unusual to give a child a cup of milk in the evening, surely -- could that be what's happening?

Feels like you are a bit too invested in something that doesn't really have anything to do with you, to be honest.

I spend a lot of time trying to get my DD into her own bed full time. She goes to bed in her bed but at least a few nights a week I wake in the middle of the night with her sneaking in to mine. She says she likes a cuddle. She is 8. I assume she will grow out of it eventually so I sneakily enjoy the cuddle.

I'd give her a warm glass of milk at bedtime if she wanted one. Instead she has a glass of water.

To be honest I suspect this isn't the worst parenting sin in the world!

Do you not think it is odd that the DH has been banished to another room? Why don't some of the children co-sleep with him?

DS8 was one of those non-sleeping bat babies who just wouldn't sleep consistently til we gave co-sleeping a go. He doesn't do it any more (and I'm thankful) but I think that if you have three babies relatively close together and the oldest one possibly feels pushed out or upset by the new arrivals, it must be ten times harder to try and remove bottles or convince them to sleep solo.

We only had two to juggle and the age gap was much bigger, so the oldest never really felt pushed out or jealous of the baby because he had left behind his baby stuff before the new arrival descended. Having them closer together looks like hard, hard work, and I'd deliberately try not to judge anyone for things that don't actually hurt anyone. You do the best you can with the skills you have; it sounds like her DC are loved and healthy, so it's up to them how their family works.

It's the bottle i would take issue with as it's so bad for teeth. And no way should an 8yo have any issue with a normal cup.

The sleeping wouldn't worry me as long as everyone is happy.

It's not necessarily 'for the mum's sake'. Dads can hug kids as well! Kids sleeping with their parents isn't odd or weird in any way. And it doesn't mean there are problems in the relationship.

Some kids are anxious or struggle emotionally with school. Some just like a cuddle. Others find it hard to get to sleep.

One of my kids slept in our bed until very late. It started shortly after starting school and DC slept in own bed through most school holidays. Sharing the bed seemed to give DC enough of a boost to deal with school.

I agree a bottle after teeth brushing isn't advisable but it's hardly child abuse.

Not healthy! Especially not for her kids teeth! Your friend is doing this for her own self interest, not her childrens

Co-sleeping is fine. Bottle is bad for teeth.