To think she's underweight now

[User6000]

My dd is 23 and went on a diet around October time. She was an healthy weight at 5'4 and 10 stone although the upper end of healthy. She's since lost three stone and is now just below 7 stone. Her original target weight was 8 stone. I don't know how to help her as obviously she is an adult but I'm worried she's getting unwell.

To lose that much that fast, when she wasn’t huge to start with, sets alarm bells ringing for me- (former ED sufferer)she must be on a vlcd or is simply starving herself.

She won’t respond well to confrontation- I say that from experience. I only recovered when I had my son, so beyond “getting knocked up” I can’t tell you what might work.... but I’m sure someone will be along soon who can.

I'm 5ft 4 and just below 7 stones is absomuteky not healthy. I look good at 8 - 8.5 stones. I think your poor daughter has taken this too far xx

I was the same height and weight post divorce. I know I looked ill. Not sure how to approach an adult. Has she had any recent trauma or just addicted to the buzz? Maybe suggest she joins a gym / gets a personal trainer? They give great diet /healthy eating advice to match the training programme.
You could suggest the gym as a comparison for yourself!! Me and my dd go, she is 29 and I am 47!!

Thank you for the responses. she works long hours and is often out with friends so it's hard to know what she eats.

I'm 5'4 and have been 7 stone - I was very much underweight - GP prescribed me high calorie drinks to take.

I’m 5.5. My usual weight up to my mid 30s was 8st 2lb. I was skinny but healthy. I dropped to 7st 6lb for a while and maybe lower. At that point I was really not well. I was going through a bad time and was hardly eating at all. I would be worried for her.

Yes she's underweight

I'm 5'3" & have been under 7 stone. I wasn't well, & it was pretty obvious. Is she usually a bit of a perfectionist, or easily stressed? Is she under a lot of stress at the moment?

Yes that's underweight. A healthy BMi would put her at 7stone 12 as a minimum and up to 9stone 12.

I'm going to be blunt - have you considered that drugs could be an issue if she's out with friends a lot? It may be nothing but I'd have a quick think about other signs such as being secretive or money problems.

I am the mother of a daughter who is in recovery now from very severe anorexia. I would say that there is a strong chance your daughter has an eating disorder. She wil probably resent your interference but you should try to get her to seek some professional help.

You should also look at the website of the charity BEAT.

I wish you well.

I was seriously ill about 20 years ago and my weight dropped to 7st - I'm 5ft 4 and usually weigh 8st 7lb or so. My consultant's view was "meh, you're a bit thin, but I won't be taking any action unless you lose another stone." So on that basis, if I were you I would be more concerned about her motivation and mental health than her physical state right now. She's got a good way to go before she's in trouble physically, especially if she's generally healthy.

Yes, this has all the hallmarks of a serious eating disorder. So sorry, op. You're going to have to talk to her about it, even if she gets defensive or angry. It might not achieve anything at all but at least it will let her know you have cared and have noticed. I'm not sure that her joining a gym is a good idea in the circumstances.

I second talking to her about how worried you are. A gentle conversation, it is likely to be unwelcome, but I wouldn’t let that stop you.
I was seven stone and in the end under seven stone with anoxeria.

Agree with PPs, she's lost a third of her body weight in 4 months. No healthy diet achieves that I'm afraid.

That’s a very quick weight loss as others have said.

A normal weight loss would be 1-2 pounds but as she was already a healthy weight she’d need to do something quite drastic to hit that and most people at that weight would be closer to 1lb a week with plateaus. Even doing 16lb would have been a struggle for lots of women at that starting weight. Losing 42lb is a hell of loss from a healthy starting point.

Yes it sounds like a worry. Do you think she is taking sonething to speed up the weight loss. Lots of young women with busy lifes take amphetamines, With such a big weight loss and busy lifestyle. Is she grumpy, has her friend lost weight too.

I'm 5.4. My bmi at 7st 11 was 18.5 iirc. I looked like a spoon. Another 11lbs off me would have been alarming but I would have loved it. Eating disorders are exactly that I speak from experience

Depends. I'm 5"6 and prefer being between 8 and 9 stone. So I can imagine 7 stone could look fine on someone 5"4 if they have a small frame.

But it could also look ridiculously thin.