Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

...to think child maintenance doesn't cover this?

23 replies

GemmaBeth · 20/02/2019 13:20

Breakfast/after school clubs? My DD's father pays £170.00 a month for DD. School finishes at 3.30pm and we both work until 5.00pm. DD goes to after school club from 3.30pm to 5.10pm when I can then collect her.

After school club costs £128.00 a month. He says the £170.00 he pays should more than cover his half of the after school club fees?

AIBU to think that his "half" of the fees should be paid as well as the £170.00?

OP posts:

MissSmithToYou · 20/02/2019 13:25

He should be paying the amount set by CSA or whatever they're called these days! And if the amount he's paying is set correctly, then unfortunately it has to form a contribution to all your living expenses, which includes childcare

Just make sure he's paying in accordance with his salary. It seems low to me

BarbarianMum · 20/02/2019 13:28

Morally or legally? Legally child maintenance covers everything (even when it patently doesn't). Morally, I would say you have a case.

Bobbycat121 · 20/02/2019 13:29

As long as he is paying the legal
amount then thats all he actually has to pay.

Idonotlikeyoudonaldtrump · 20/02/2019 13:31

Does she go to after school club on his days? I think if he’s paying as required by CSA then you should cover childcare that allows you to work and he covers what allows him to work.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 20/02/2019 13:32

CMS is the minimum legal contribution to cover everything. Legally you don’t have a case but I totally see your point.

frazzledasarock · 20/02/2019 13:33

Pay for your days, on his days he can arrange childcare as he sees fit.

HavelockVetinari · 20/02/2019 13:34

Legally he doesn't need to pay, but the legal minimum is paltry. £170 is nowhere close to half the cost of housing, clothing, feeding and caring for a child!

Waveysnail · 20/02/2019 13:34

Legally no, morally yes. What days does he have her?

HalfBloodPrincess · 20/02/2019 13:36

Unfortunately it’s true.

My ex paid £150 per month and my childcare was £1200 per month - doesn’t even scratch the surface. Just another way single parents (mostly women) get screwed over.

MummyStruggles · 20/02/2019 13:41

CN (still getting used to this site)

He has her every Friday night and every other Saturday night (dropped off on the Sunday one week or I pick up the Saturday when he doesn't have her). Occasionally he has her on a Wednesday evening but that was when he worked closed to school but now has new job so these nights have have dwindled a little.

I was just always of the opinion that I need after school club facilities as much as he does because DD is both of ours.

Maybe I've been a bit naive.

QuirkyQuark · 20/02/2019 13:48

Is this a worked out between you amount? Or have you checked with the cms calculator?

MummyStruggles · 20/02/2019 13:50

Sorry - no it's just a sum we decided on when we split, 6 years ago.

I don't know his salary and feel rude/uncomfortable asking.

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/02/2019 13:53

Open a case with the CMS, give them the info you have and they should work what he has to pay.

CountessVonBoobs · 20/02/2019 13:56

I think he's probably underpaying generally, especially since he now does fewer nights than he used to.

Get the CMS on the case.

TheOrigFV45 · 20/02/2019 13:58

Apparently, my ex will be paying me £23.01 a week - once they (CMS) start extracting it from his salary.

I work full time and have a 9yo DS at home. Work it out.

Luckily I am able to support both my children (I have one at uni as well), because god knows their father bloody can't/won't.

QuirkyQuark · 20/02/2019 14:06

The best thing you can do is have a chat with him and say you're going to get the cms to work out the amount he should be paying. Although without knowing roughly what his salary is Thea out could go down.

Mummyoflittledragon · 20/02/2019 14:07

If he is collecting your dc from after school clubs I imagine he has to cover those days. Otherwise unfortunately it’s your responsibility.

JacquesHammer · 20/02/2019 14:08

Legally he’s correct.

Morally that’s a completely different story.

cuppycakey · 20/02/2019 14:12

How much does he earn? If he only takes home £1130 a month or thereabouts then £170 is correct (15% of net pay) but I agree with PP this seems low......

Is the childcare you are paying for on days when you have DD? If so, then yes, sadly it's your financial responsibility. If it's on days when he should have her then he should be arranging and making any applicable payments for that childcare.

cuppycakey · 20/02/2019 14:15

Sorry I hadn't seen your posts as no longer highlighted since you changed name.

I don't know his salary and feel rude/uncomfortable asking. You don't have to. CMS will sort it all out for you. You must have some idea?

Mari50 · 20/02/2019 14:20

I don't know his salary and feel rude/uncomfortable asking

You have a child with this man, ask him and stop letting him get away with (probably) underpaying you.
Make sure you know exactly what his salary should be for the amount he is currently paying because sure as shit he isn’t on that and he won’t even be able to make a reasonable guess what it should be.

Do some research and work out what he should pay if he’s on £25k, 30k, 40k so you are prepared to tell him.
Unless he’s on less than £25k he’s screwing you, and if he’s on 25k he still owes you another £30 odd a month.....

MissBehaving1000 · 20/02/2019 14:21

Totally with you on this.

DD dad pays £140 per month maintenance through CMS. He's not hard up by any means but is self employed and I know he's gone to great lengths to hide income etc which is why I receive the amount I do. Anyway...

I pay all childcare costs so that I can work full time. I asked him for help towards the cost when we split but was told that was what the maintenance was for.

We were in court last year about contact arrangements and I brought it up. Since we separated id spent over £12K on childcare alone! Against his measly £3K odd in maintenance.
The judge must have seen something in what I said as he didn't order anything to go in my ex's favour.

It's sickening that because he's paying the minimum set by the CMS he's not legally doing anything wrong. But yet he has only £140 outlay a month and can go and earn his £££ without a care in the world.

Whereas I have not only the burden of childcare costs, but the actual costs of raising her! Food/clothes/housing etc

I just pray that one day DD will recognise and appreciate everything I've done, and try to do for her.

And as much as it pisses me off, it shows him for what he is...I'm not going to be paying for childcare forever. And I'll take great pleasure in sending him the biggest virtual up yours as I've done it almost all on my own with minimal help from him

BrinkPink · 20/02/2019 14:50

My shit-hot lawyer brought this up when we were negotiating our separation agreement, and pointed out that paying for after-school club allows him to work as well as me. She put in the draft agreement that he should pay half of the cost on top of the CMS minimum he was planning to pay (he's well-paid). If it had come to court he wouldn't have had to, but she basically shamed him into it. The agreement also says he has to show me his P60 every year. I know I'm lucky compared to many single parents, but it should really be standard.

Flip