AIBU about friend bumping into ex?

[MadameDD]

A close friend of mine wanted to go out with me this weekend - i’d be on mock-tails now as recently pregnant buf I don’t mind going out with her as she’s not had a proper night out for ages.

One town we wanted to go to her recent ex-boyfriend apparently goes out in - but AFAIK he will be working (as a doorman) in another town.

Friend texted me Monday “I’ll go to any other place than there, I don’t want to go to the area where he goes, doesn’t make any sense to me”.

However our local high street i don’t like and the other area she’s thinking of is further out. This town I wanted to go to is “naice” so for me less bother etc especially as I’m pregnant.

She then texted me she was “over him that’s the point but I don’t need to be bumping into him why would i put myself in that position when I really don’t have to”.

As I was tired when I got that last text I said “ok fine let’s leave it”. A couple of hours later after I’d put DD to bed I apologised for tone and said I was happy to go elsewhere.

She’s now blanked me for past day or so and ignored a text I sent.

AIBU here? I can be tactless from time to time.

Oh I’m also here because last summer for her birthday we did go out in same “naice” town and her ex (then on off boyfriend) was on the door at a club) she wasn’t there, it was when I was walking to the taxi rank and she’d already got a lift, but when I mentioned this to her she wasn’t bothered I’d bumped into him!

Typo alert meant "sums it up"

notacooldad

Agreed I was being a pain. You however seem to be equally a pain, picking holes in wording - 'naice' AFAIK is a perfectly usable and IncrediblySadToo agrees with me there so I'll just ignore you!

What you seem to lump this post into as 14 year old stuff is no different from 'friends' drama here. And in my case, yes, pregnancy hormones are probably making me ratty, but my friend going back and forward with her on off ex has irked me slightly. I just fancied a night out, whilst I still can, with her!

Suggest you go back to your username's sake/behaviour.

IncrediblySadToo agrees with me there so I'll just ignore you!
Lol!!!she even rolls her eyes.

Suggest you go back to your username's sake/behaviour
You can suggest what you want but you still sound ridiculous. O agree with the others , you sound self centred and a pain and your post was confusing especially all the waffle about money and then throwing in a drip feed!

didn't really have time to go into the ins and outs of why she did or didn't want to see him!

You didn't need to go into it though you could have just accepted she didn't want to go his town (which was hardly surprising).

If you’re pregnant and driving, then it’s no big deal to drive slightly further is it? Especially if you’re the one that doesn’t want to go to the closest place. I’d definitely avoid where the ex is.

I hope this is "pregnancy hormones"
Otherwise you're just a dick

Agreed I’m being a dick, but... having heard her go on and on about him for the past 2-3 years and getting back together with him (plus screenshots of their conversations) has slightly exasperated me... but hey it’s her relationship!

The thing is (yes another drip feed) as of Sunday night she was quite happy to go to the town I’d said to go to and we were discussing pubs and bars that were nice there. The other place she mentioned was a good drive or bus/train rides away

I’ve actually decided to cancel the night out completely if she contacts me again as very early days pregnant and don’t want to risk anything.

FWIW, over the past 2-3 years I’ve got close to her we have sort of fallen out slightly once but came back from that. I hope she’s ok with me though I just can’t understand her blanking me but can see she doesn’t want to flog a dead horse.

Are you going to keep drip feeding until someone agree with you?
You said you accepted it ages ago so why do you keep throwing other stuff into the mix?

YABU for using the word 'naice'

Even a cup of coffee with you OP sounds like too much work. You sound exasperating and exhausting.

YABU. You should've been a bit more sensitive to her situation. I don't think she was being unreasonable at all and can get why she's not in the mood to talk to you right now.

I’ve actually decided to cancel the night out completely
Do you stamp your feet and growl too?

Are you pregnant, by any chance?? 😂😂😂😂

I’ve actually decided to cancel the night out completely if she contacts me again as very early days pregnant and don’t want to risk anything.

What...what would you be risking? Accidentally chugging a tequila slammer?

The constant mention that you are sooo busy cos you are newly pregnant does make you sound rather self absorbed.
It may be that she is suddenly nervous seeing him might send her back into the on/off cycle off the relationship and she really is trying to move on. This would explain the sudden change of heartt and if so you should be more supportive. Your friend has done nothing wrong here.

It makes more sense for her to avoid him completely given their messy on-off relationship.

And yeah, I'm not sure what you're risking by being outside of the house?

Jesus Christ - you sound like such hard work op. And you also sound like you don’t like her very much,all your drip feeds (very irritating by the way) seem to show her in a bad light, just so someone, just anyone, will agree with you. You also sound high maintenance- the world doesn’t only revolved around you, whilst your unborn baby is the most important thing on your mind, hers is her ex.

Won’t comment on the £50 much - she paid it back so not sure why you brought that up, are you trying to say something about that?

I have to say op, you're not very nice, and I can't for the life of me comprehend why you can't understand why she might not wish to bump into him this time and can't respect it,

Having been pregnant it didn't turn me into a dick, and I'm really not a fan of women behaving badly then blaming their hormones. Really just own it,

It’s a bloody night out ffs.. You want to go to the one place she doesn’t, you either suck it up and go somewhere else or you don’t go. It’s not that complicated. It doesn’t matter about 14 years of back history and raking up and over-analyzing every little incident that’s happened - ever.

It’s exhausting just reading your posts, you’re all over the shop with the oh and she did this and this happened, not to mention this thing she said. Just focus on the situation at hand. Either you want to go out with your friend or you don’t.

Bluntless100 i am generally a very nice person actually!

However with previous friends, one ended up dropping me completely a few years back when she “fell in love” - this after us going out a lot together etc.

Another friend ditched me before we were due to go on holiday together with her DD and DP’s in favour of asking her DD’s DF whom she’d recently got back together with.

So basically even though the above doesn’t apply in this situation I only have a few close friends now and tend to be supportive but not get to close to others as then situations like this with my friend don’t bother me so much - you should see the amount of texts and convos I’ve had with her re him!

WarpedGalaxy agreed I should’ve just gone on a night out and not over analysed it etc.

NCjustforthisthread I do like this friend but haven’t known her closely for that long only these past few years.

I’ve had experience of being burned re lending money in the past so was surprised when she asked me but lent it. I’m just not sure now if she sees me as someone with money whom she can tap for it when she likes. She was thankful and paid it back ASAP. Also in this past month she’s confided in me about money worries etc when we haven’t had this before - maybe I’m concerned this will build up for her into a bigger problem.

To the rest of you - yes agreed I’m hard work sometimes. My OP was answered and I agreed yes I was BU and a dick etc. I’ll try to learn from this. I’m sure all of you aren’t perfect either.