I have toyed with posting this here but at this stage , I am confused and would appreciate some help on unravelling this strange situation . I read posts in relationships here and there and this morning , alarm bells started to ring so I thought I might ask for your honesty in a peculiar set up .
I am married happily mostly , children , full time job etc . I work in an office in an emotionally charged atmosphere due to nature of work. Some years ago, I became closer with a male colleague ten years my junior. We are all good friends in the office but this friendship took off . He was single but in and out of casual relationships. He began to look for advice, I began to give it . He started to send a lot of random, innocent texts outside of the office. Funny stuff, jokes, memes, work issues etc . Nothing untoward . Frequency increase to every night, confiding increases about him and his life . Compliments about my personal appearance start, then about me as a person . Suggestions of plans to go out as a staff and jokes about what would happen if too much alcohol were to be consumed .
. I felt that lines were being crossed , spoke to him and asked him to essentially stop messaging . I enjoyed our correspondence and I enjoyed the flattery but knew it was inappropriate . However I have never at any stage fancied him or found him sexually attractive . He was sad and didnt understand it .
He continued to message and before long we were back in full contact .in the meantime I began to confide in him. He is a good listener . He lifted my mood in an otherwise unhappy time of my life and I felt flattered . He opened up more and more, about family, friends, asexualithy, childhood etc .,. I advised when asked .
He then met a girl a year ago . He is still seeing her . Much younger, little interest , no serious intentions etc. She loves him. He likes her. She is happy to forego sexual relationship and serious commitment as long as he is in her life as her boyfriend. Too many issues to divulge. he confides in me , I advise etc. He is still texting me, still complimenting, still trying to keep our friendship spark alive . I pull away regularly when it gets overwhelming and ignore texts for days at a time. The more I do this, the more he increases contact . Tells me he loves me... as a friend i presume and another 100 personal compliments .
It’s all gone a bit strange and inappropriate. He sends me lots and lots of texts over a night, many crossing the line, which I ignore or and then the next day, texts about what a lovely weekend he has had the girlfriend etc. The whole thing is an enigma to me . Wtf is going on here? Thanks and sorry it’s so long winded .