I have not had an easy life. I was abused when a child and not parented properly or kept safe by my parents. Failed first marriage, lost my 3 kids for a few years due to manipulative ExH (did get them back but still feel awful guilt that I failed them). Been married for over 30 years to 2nd DH, and have had another 2 DC. He has always treated all 5 DC the same and is a fabulous Dad.
Never had any sort of career due to upbringing (no parental back up, no information or guidance given on further eductation either by parents or school, actually left school at 15 as had to start earning). Have worked on and off through the years, but not when dc were young as we took a joint decision that I should be a SAHM, as I badly wanted my children to feel loved and cherished and have the attention I missed out on from my parents.
5 ago I was diagnosed with cancer, am now in remission (although I know it is likely to come back at some time), but have a very dodgy immune system and no spleen so am very scared of risking infection. Before, during and after treatment I was signed off work for over a year, which TBH was a relief because I hated the job. When I did go back I was a nervous wreck within a couple of days and DH told me not to go back, to hand in my notice and spend my days being free, doing whatever I wanted and enjoying myself. He told me to make up for the lost freedom of teenage years I never had - and which he had in abundance and has very happy memories of (I was married to my ExH at 17 and he was my first and only serious BF). In a nutshell he has been lovely. He doesn't earn a huge salary, but we have enough to have a reasonable life and 2 or 3 cheapish holidays a year, he sees his income as joint money and I have free access to spend whatever I want, unquestioned. (I am frugal by the way, so he knows I would never overspend on myself - a legacy of early poverty!). All DC now grown and oldest 4 have left home, youngest still with us, but is no bother. So apart from housework and garden, I can do what I want, when I want and how I want.
Sounds great doesn't it? And it IS great, or would be if I didn't feel so guilty. I have lots of hobbys and my own crafting space to carry them out in, but I always feel I should be doing something that isn't frivolous when DH is at work....even though he would be fine about it if all I chose to do was to lie on sofa and watch TV all day! DH tells me repeatedly it gives him pleasure to know he can give me a happy carefree life, one where I don't have to worry about workplace germs and my health too much, and that I should make the most of every day as we have no idea when cancer is likely to return. He says I should regard it as early retirement (I am 63) and do WTF I like.
Please help me get rid of the guilt!