Should I get help?

[Newadventure]

I'm struggling again. I'm not sure why my intrusive thoughts have resurfaced.. I think Its stress related but can't be sure.
I go through patches of being ok, everything seems to come to a head around my period so I was putting it down to pmt too.
Surely it's not normal to keep having waves of depression, anxiety and these bloody awful intrusive thoughts. (They are around me harming dd and so awful but I thought I was past all that when the pnd went away. why have they come back? ) even if they are 'normal' do I really have to keep struggling?
I was just trying to get on with things and it's weird because they only last a week or so then go away and I feel fine, then the thought that I might have looked for help once I feel better just sounds so ridiculous so I dont. Then it happens again, and again. Some months are better than others. I don't what to waste anyone's time.
I dont know what to do but also I dont want to have to keep feeling like this.

Oh sorry, yeah I want to ring my gp but I'm scared to talk over the intrusive thoughts as I've never told anyone about them before. I don't know where to start.
I was in touch with them a while ago so they know about my awful (suspected) pmt, the prescribed the pill so it but I didn't want to take it so got a mirina coil fitted instead as I heard that can help with pmt too but it's not working.
I'm not a good candidate for counselling apparently.
I want them to give me a magic pill to make me feel normal and happy but I don't think it's going to be as easy as that.

You should absolutely get help. It will be scary to open up, but until you do nothing will change and those intrusive thought might get more powerful. Good luck

@Newadventure please go and see your gp. They can help. I struggled on my own for years, never believing that anything could help me, but I eventually started on ADs in December and am like a completely different person now.

Have a search on here for 'Sertraline' - there are quite a few recent threads with loads of good experience from people who have suffered like you do.

A few people don't get on with one form or another of ADs but the vast majority report life- changing benefits.

I wish you lots of luck - be brave and go and talk to someone.

Also - the Mirena coil escalated my MH problems almost to the point of suicide. Having it taken out was one of the best days of my life.

Thank you.
I have phoned my gp and I'm waiting for him to ring me back today. I don't want to keep feeling this way forever.
I have heard of sertraline and that was what I was going to ask him for.
I'll report back.

Have a look at docready.org.uk
It's a site set up to help you prepare a checklist of how you are feeling and to enable you to talk about it to your GP. If words fail you during the consultation, you can show the GP your list. It's a really helpful tool. I refer lots of young people to it but it's relevant for adults too!

PS you are doing the right thing, and I think you are very brave!

Well he rang and I told him how I was feeling. I've been dealing with this for a while so he has records of conversations I've had with my gps, prescribing the pill and me getting the mirina. Also of me being in contact with a counselling service so im guessing he could see that I've been trying different options before resorting to this so after a brief discussion he said he was more than happy to prescribe an anti depressants.
He has prescribed me sertraline 50mg to start with.
I'm so relived, I thought he was going to make that really difficult for some reason but he was really understanding and I didn't feel like I had to fight for it at all.
I feel like a weights been lifted already, I'm really looking forward to getting these into my system and to see if they will work.
I'm so fed up of feeling this.

That is brilliant news. Well done for being brave enough to ask for help. I hope you start to feel a bit better very soon!

Cognitive behavioural therapy can be really helpful with intrusive thoughts/pure OCD.

I've heard it explained as this = Try not to think of yellow daisies. The more you try not to think about yellow daisies, the more your mind will focus on yellow daisies. Instead, imagine your are like a train. The train comes into your mind. You accept it and the train carries on. You will have forgotten about the thought after a few mins! This combined with appropriate medication and other methods can be effective in regaining peace.

I'm glad you're seeking help. It's an important and brave step.

I really feel for you. I was like this for a couple of years after having children and it is very hard to deal with. (I have other mh issues but none are quite like this). For me, these feelings eventually passed (probably when I was busier mentally with work etc). I was probably quite stressed with work then though so not a good cure. In answer to your question - yes, definite ly seek help for this.
I hope things begin to feel better for you.

That's a good idea freddo!

I did learn some techniques to manage the intrusive thoughts when I first started getting them and they work well.
I didn't admit to anyone about them at the time, well I told my ex (dds dad), i was so terrified but he was very blunt and uncaring with his reply so I was too scared to tell anyone else after that and sort of became my own therapist, the best part was actually finding out it was a thing, i really did think i was evil and losing my mind so it was such a relief to know that it was more of a condition.
After that just read up about it and learnt how to cope with them.
I was explaining some to my gp today and said it's more like a fleeting thought, e.g I'll have them when I'm driving, I'll suddenly start thinking that I'm going to veer off and crash with me and dd in the car or things like the house blowing up (because of the boiler) or dd getting ran over but it's all really graphic and upsetting. Now I'll just allow the thought to pass and remind myself that i keep dd safe, I'm safe and im in control. It does help but that's not to say it's not distressing too. I don't want to keep thinking dark thoughts like that all the time.
I'm really hopeful these ads will help and I can be the person I'm supposed to be.

Yes schoolsout stress and lack of sleep is a definite trigger for me.
Trouble is, I dont really have many reasons to feel stressed, well I don't think, yes I'm a single parent and I work ft but other than that things are quite good in the sense I dont have other external stress coming from anywhere, we'll the odd thing but nothing unmanageable we live a nice quiet life, I don't have many friends but thats because most bring drama which I know I don't need and couldn't handle.. it's just that I feel so stressed for no reason.. like I'm on edge all the time and when it gets too much (my own brain that is) up come these thoughts.
The thoughts are just part of all this though but I can deal with the depression and anxiety more as they're not as distressing.
All in all I just feel like my brain needs a good wash

Please get some help. I have suffered on and off since before I had children with intrusive thoughts and the relief I felt when I told my psychiatrist was immense (was already being seen for major depression). I now take a very low dose daily of an antipsychotic tablet and it makes a massive difference to me, I can let my thoughts go without worrying about them! I hope you can get it sorted.

@Newadventure I'm so pleased that you spoke to the gp and have the meds.

I just wanted to say - expect it to take a while to settle and have the full effect. Side effects can make you feel worse for the first few weeks.

I'm two months in now and feel brilliant, but the first month was hard. It's worth sticking with though.

It's only day two of taking these and i feel awful. I wouldnt say worse just bad but in a different way. Really low and feeling like I'm a bad person. I keep having waves of anxiety that I'm going to do something bad.
I know deep down I won't but it doenst stop me feeling like I might.