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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit unnerved by this banker?

53 replies

JammyGem · 20/02/2019 10:02

Went to the bank last week to open up a savings account for DD. The banker who I dealt with was very friendly, and apparently remembered me from when I visited the bank last Spring. He seemed so friendly and forward that it was bordering on unprofessional (telling me he was hungover, making jokes about my age, comments about where I live etc) but I put it down to his young age and lack of experience. Besides, he opened the account and all was fine.

It did strike me as a bit odd that he remembered me from nearly a year ago, and seemed to have taken note of my age, but maybe this was part of what he had to fill out for opening an account?

Anyway, I had a call this morning but I was feeding DD so didn't answer the phone. I've just received an email from this banker saying he'd tried to call and could I give him my number and the best time to call. No indication of why he's calling. Is this normal for them to ring you after opening an account?

I know it sounds really stupid and OTT but something just felt off about him at the time, and now I just feel a bit uneasy. I have anxiety which can skew how I see things, but my instincts are telling me something's not right no matter how I rationalise it.

Just tell me I need to get a grip!

OP posts:
WinterfellWench · 20/02/2019 10:53

Well, normally a follow-up call wouldn't be 'sinister' @jebus for a bank staff member to do. However, in this case it IS - after the way this man behaved when the OP opened her account with him.

She has a bad feeling about him. When you get a bad feeling about something or something, in most cases, it turns out to be with good reason.

Best for the OP to see another member of staff. This man was WAY too familiar.

needanappp · 20/02/2019 10:53

I worked at a building society up until 6 months ago and personally this sounds normal to me. I can understand how he came off as unprofessional with his conversation but it does sound like he was trying to build a rapport. They did abolish the working on commission however, there is still a lot of pressure on staff to form a rapport with every customer in order to determine if they can sell the customer a product basically. Eg. You find out they have children, do they have life insurance or they've recently moved do they have home insurance.

Also, if you have accounts at the bank or have ever had accounts at the bank (even if they have all been closed for years) you will have a profile on the system. That would likely be how he knew your age.

With regards to the call it could be that there has been an issue opening your account. An error on the form or something else. Due to GDPR you're not allowed to leave any details whatsoever on a voicemail incase it is picked up by anyone other than the account holder. In fact, we weren't allowed to leave messages at all unless it was urgent (a mistake on a form would be an example) and then it would be a basic "this is a message for mr X, it's needanappp calling from X bank, please could you give me a call back on branch number".

That being said, if you do feel uneasy the only thing you can do is raise it with the branch manager. It does sound like this person needs to make their conversations more professional! We were encouraged to communicate in a slightly informal manner in order to build a rapport more easily but still keep it professional. He seems to have lost that element a bit too much I think.

Saracen · 20/02/2019 10:54

Second the recommendation for "The Gift of Fear". The author maintains that our instincts are the best resource we have in keeping ourselves safe from creepy people.

You have nothing to lose by being overly cautious, and everything to lose by engaging with somebody you don't trust.

DailyBaileys · 20/02/2019 10:57

@missbattenburg Yes! 👍 👍 👍
'The Gift of Fear' is invaluable. I first read it when it was originally published, and now I read it annually, for a 'refresher course'.

I often recommend it, as well!

winsinbin · 20/02/2019 11:04

Even though he might not be paid commission I would be surprised if he didn’t have some form of sales targets whereby he is expected to generate however many new accounts a month or sell up from a current account to a fixed term bond or some such so it could be completely innocent and appropriate.

That being said, I would follow your instincts OP. If you feel he is being over familiar or pushing a little too hard, keep your interactions with him very formal and don’t divulge any personal information you would prefer to withhold. If you don’t want to call him back, don’t. If it’s important he’ll call you back or put it in writing.

userschmoozer · 20/02/2019 11:06

OP's senses are tingling as this is how stalking begins. If you dont want to be treated like a creepy stalker then just dont act like one.

The Gift of Fear PDF
the-eye.eu/public/Books/Radical%20Feminist%20Literature/Gavin%20de%20Becker/The%20Gift%20of%20Fear%20%28123%29/The%20Gift%20of%20Fear%20-%20Gavin%20de%20Becker.pdf

PuppyMonkey · 20/02/2019 11:09

Sounds odd. I’d just email back saying he can explain the issue in an email and you’ll look at it when you can.

MotorcycleMayhem · 20/02/2019 11:10

On the off-chance he's taken a shine to you and ringing for 'personal reasons' then a polite 'thanks but no thanks' will set him straight

Bullshit. That sort of crap is exactly how perverts hide in the workplace and get away with it for years. They should be reported.

If this man were to be using his access to personal information to proposition a customer, he should be reported to his employer and a complaint made about his conduct.

If he's contacting her legitimately about an issue with the account, then no problem.

bethandfreyaruby · 20/02/2019 11:10

I work in a bank as a sales role similar to this- we have to have follow up appointments, and identifying other areas we can future the relationship with all of our customers. I wouldn't be concerned, he probably saw an opportunity and we have "targets" to meet!

caughtinanet · 20/02/2019 11:10

I have a good memory and would easily remember and mention something in a similar situation simply to be friendly, I hope people don't think I'm a stalker. . You can't form a proper opinion until you make further enquires at the bank.

Might be appropriate, might not but no one call tell you which it is. Do as other have said, pop into the branch and find out.

ilikemethewayiam · 20/02/2019 11:10

He is being over familiar and does sound like he maybe has a little soft spot for you given that he remembered you from a year ago! I don’t like that. I like employees to be friendly but polite. He may not be up to anything but is certainly being a bit unprofessional. Either way it would make me feel uncomfortable. I agree with other PPs either respond by email, telling him you don’t time to speak on the phone, anything he has to say can be done by email, or pop into the bank and speak to another employee. Just try to discourage any over familiar behaviour!

DarlingNikita · 20/02/2019 11:12

I’d just email back saying he can explain the issue in an email and you’ll look at it when you can.

I agree with this. It might be him being weird or it might just be him being slightly over-keen with the customer service. Either way, I think keeping a cool distance and a paper trail is a good idea. And if it does turn out that he was calling because he'd spotted some way to save you some money or whatever, then all to the good!

liverbird10 · 20/02/2019 11:12

In all seriousness, there's nothing off about a simple follow up call after an account is opened, it's part of the job!

Grace212 · 20/02/2019 11:15

@liverbird10

there's nothing sinister about a follow up call from someone who hasn't freaked you out initially, no.

OP, don't waste time popping into the branch. They can email etc if there's actually a problem with the account.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 20/02/2019 11:16

It’s strange that even though he had the Op’s email address and her phone number he still wanted her to email her number back to him. He could have said in his email something on lines of “ tried to ring but no answer, just a quick curtesy will try again later “ or just ring back another time!

When did banks start ring customers anyway when they’d been into branch to open an account? Is this a thing now?

GerryblewuptheER · 20/02/2019 11:19

When did banks start ring customers anyway when they’d been into branch to open an account? Is this a thing now?

I always thought that if there was a call from a bank it was likely to be a scam. And to never reveal anything not even your name.

BellamyBlake · 20/02/2019 11:23

Regardless of weather his call and email was a courtesy call or not, him making jokes about your age and where you live IS unprofessional and I would have a word with someone else at the bank about that. It's not funny or friendly for any to make stupid comments like that.
I've never received an email from anyone personally at the bank so I find that a bit weird. Surely he should have just left a voice mail. You're not obliged to follow anything up with this man so I'd go into the bank and ask someone else what the call was.

WH1SPERS · 20/02/2019 11:39

Trust your instincts.

Original poster
JammyGem · 20/02/2019 11:40

Thanks everyone. I'm going to trust my instincts and just ignore the call and email. I'm sure if it's important they'll try again, and if so I'll pop into the bank to see what it's about.

OP posts:
Belenus · 20/02/2019 11:41

In all seriousness, there's nothing off about a simple follow up call after an account is opened, it's part of the job!

Yes, true. But the problem is that someone who might be a weird stalker could take advantage of this, just as they can take advantage of a number of other social norms, particularly the idea that women should be friendly and accommodating of others needs.

I think the OP is right to listen to her instincts and to be careful. It might all be innocent. It might be that he inadvertently crossed a line. Or he may have deliberately crossed a line to see if he could get away with it.

theFavourites · 20/02/2019 13:31

This reply has been deleted

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GreatDuckCookery6211 · 20/02/2019 13:37

I’m speaking generally. IMO it’s good to listen to your gut instinct. For various reasons this man has made the OP feel unsettled, don’t belittle her for doing that.

IF it’s nothing and there’s a genuine reason for him ringing he will call back. No harm done.

GerryblewuptheER · 20/02/2019 13:37

Nah

The brain is what talks us out of following our gut feelings and lands us in situations we shouldn't be in. It's why people get away with shit cos if we dont even believe ourselves how do we expect others to believe us.

Lalliella · 20/02/2019 13:41

I’ve just been into the bank with my mum and a right miserable woman served us. At one point she rolled her eyes when I dared to ask her for something I’d already asked her for and she hadn’t done. I’ll swap you.

Belenus · 20/02/2019 13:47

I prefer to use my brain that my gut.

The brain is generally the bit that's been overridden by years of being socialised to behave in particular ways. Your instincts (also governed by your brain, not actually your gut, just a more primitive part of your brain) are more often free from that. So if someone is making the hairs on your neck stand up, chances are you've picked up on some small signals that your more humanised self has forgotten how to read properly. Your animal instinct knows however.

That's not to say we should all run away when we feel our hackles rise, or threaten to deck someone. But we should listen to that primitive instinct, even if we then carefully temper it. My life would be a lot better and easier now if I'd realised this decades ago. Pay attention to what your subconscious is trying to tell you. More often than not it will be right.