to be really shcoked and cross at MIL's comments?

[LowFatMilkshake]

Phoned my MIL to tell her that we have a date for DS Baptism and she asked who the GP's were. When I explained one is her SIL she asked why and I said because she has no children of her own so could be devoted to mine and it would'nt upset any other children, but mainly because she is just so lovely with the children and reminds me of my own dearly missed GM.

She then said "well it's up to you who you choose is'nt it". As if I should have chosen her. I know it doesnt sound bad now I have written it on here, but attitude really sucks. Whenever she see's my DC's she only plays at the table of on the sofa because anything else is too much for her. Yet her SIL can come to our house for the day and we'll only see her for about 45 minutes in total as she is always playing with them.

Why does she turn everything into something about her?!

Aren't you turning it into something about her? Did she actually say it should be her, or are you just deducing it.

Her comment was rude though...

Sorry to hear about your MIL problems. It hasn't got anything to do with her who you choose as GP's. She is the DGM fgs, how much more does she want. Do you think it may come down to

I wouldn't say anything else to her about it unless she brings it up again.

By the way YANBU.

Why do you assume she thought you should ask her? It's more likely that for whatever reason, she doesn't think her sister in law is a good candidate for the role. In which case, yes, a bit rude, but, you know - big whup. People are sometimes offhand/say innappropriate things/try to get involved in stuff that isn't their business. That's life. So yes, YABU - grow some thicker skin.

You should have said (in a lovely light airy tone) we did think of choosing you of course but as you already have the very special title of grandma/ granny we thought we should give it to someone who is as dedicated to our children as you but as yet has not been rewarded with a title.

Just spoke to my SIL who thinks MIL's attitude is because we've chose her SIl instead of her sister. If this is the case I will have to explain that it's because in the 11 years DH and I have been together I think I have seen her sister 4 times. And although I like her loads and think she's really funny - I dont know her enough and my children dont know her at all. Grrrrr!

No, you don't have to explain why.
Let it lie.

TBH I have had 11 years of letting MIL's bitchy comments about me and other family members just go by and I am geting to the point where I see MIL Baiting as a sport to be enjoyed and measured by reaction. And I am sure the day is near when I will just turn around and snap and relay every bad comment she has ever said and what I really think of her.

I know this is not a good thing but it's like the 'last straw' and all that!