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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don't have to cancel a holiday for an interview?

42 replies

TotHappy · 19/02/2019 19:51

DH has applied for a job. Had an email earlier in the week to ask when they could call him to talk about the interview. Great news. We're due to go on holiday, leaving on Thursday evening, back on Wed 6th so nearly two weeks. He announced at dinner tonight that if they say tomorrow that they want to interview on Friday, he'll have to say yes (he doesnt work Fridays).

My gut reaction was to feel annoyed because the time to say he was away for 10 days and wouldn't be available for interview was either on the covering letter of the application or in response to the email asking to call. I think the email was the obvious time to say 'yes, I can take a call this week but just to let you know I'll be away so not available for a face to face interview between X and y'.

I feel annoyed because I suspect if he had said that, they would've been fine with it, but if he says it tomorrow during the call they may well be annoyed that he didn't mention it earlier and just write him off. I'd really rather not lose a day of our holiday - we could go on Friday night instead, we're driving so no money lost on flights. But I suspect if they're calling tomorrow they're actually thinking of an interview day next week, which would basically mean we can't go away.

Do you think it's ok to mention at this stage that he's away between X and Y but available after or will that lose him the job?

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Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 19/02/2019 20:50

Coincidentally Iv just got home about half an hour ago from two days of doing all day interviews for two roles within my organisation and while I understand not every place works the same I can say that due to scheduling etc (3 person interview panel with three separate diaries to try to sync) these were the only two days (each role on each day) that it would be possible to do the interviews with the successful candidate being informed by end of business on Friday.

if any shortlisted candidate couldn't have made it on the day the interview was scheduled then they wouldn't have got another chance.

I'm not judging your (your dh's) situation obviously but just stating my (recent) experience to give a different perspective.

Original poster
TotHappy · 19/02/2019 20:52

Me too ForalltheSaints - and even if not asked for, in this scenario I would've given them because there was an obvious potential clash.
Hey ho.

DH is traditionally a type to bend over backwards to accommodate at work and not stick up for himself. I actually think you are held in more respect and treated better if you make it clear that you are professional but have requirements too, rather than just grovelling eagerly. But he is who he is. I suspect that's why he didn't mention unavailable dates much earlier and just hoped they would ask him this week. He doesn't like appearing in any way not to be willing to go out of his way at work.

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Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 19/02/2019 20:53

Excuse the typos I'm bloody knackered Blush

Good luck to you do I hope it works out for you.

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 19/02/2019 21:00

Oh god that was meant to say good luck to your dh.

Il get my coat!

Boom45 · 19/02/2019 21:03

When I've been involved in recruiting we've always been flexible for candidates where possible - if we've shortlisted them we want to see them. There's been times where we've not managed it but it's worth your DH at least having the conversation with them, worst case scenario they say no and he misses the holiday (or part of it) which is his plan anyway.

Oblomov19 · 19/02/2019 21:05

Why not just explain? Say I'm on holiday. But would you like to skype? Or I'll return from holiday and attend if required:

(ie please don't, ask me to do that last option?
surely Skype, is enough? Just not by the pool, in my speedosWink,

but just to show willing, I'll offer to come home, and attend, but obviously I don't really want to. Don't expect you to actually choose that option. It's just I'm desperate, thus trying to show willing)

HedgePlastic · 19/02/2019 21:13

YABU, work comes first. Your support here (or lack of) could make a big difference. If it were my interview, I would certainly do as your husband is doing. Stop being so selfish.

Original poster
TotHappy · 19/02/2019 21:28

Remember, ok. Well I don't agree that work always comes first. And I do not want him to miss the interview. I agree that in this case the interview should be prioritized over the holiday. I think what I'm really saying is, will it make him look flaky to even ASK if they can wait two weeks?

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Original poster
TotHappy · 19/02/2019 21:29

*erm, ok. Not remember

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Original poster
TotHappy · 19/02/2019 21:30

And thanks very much everyone, for the advice. I will update with what happens. Hope he gets it... Really really hope he doesn't get it, or a holiday!

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Original poster
TotHappy · 19/02/2019 21:30

I mean... Hope he doesn't get neither it nor a holiday. FFS!

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Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 19/02/2019 21:37

Iv got my fingers crossed for him tothappy!

MRex · 19/02/2019 22:01

Phrase it the other way around @TotHappy - can they see him in the next 3 days.

Original poster
TotHappy · 20/02/2019 13:20

They've agreed to a video call GrinGrinGrin

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Aria999 · 04/03/2019 21:50

Did he get it? Glad you got your holiday!

BanginChoons · 04/03/2019 22:15

That's great!

Although I don't really get why you would've had to cancel the holiday. Why couldn't you have gone and him joined you after the interview?

Regardless, have a nice holiday, and I hope he gets the job.

Original poster
TotHappy · 06/03/2019 19:29

Thanks... Still waiting to hear... But home now and had a nice time, although he's been fretting about it a lot so not perfect!

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