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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my neighbours complaint was unfair?

29 replies

Frequency · 19/02/2019 16:17

I might well be unreasonable and I am perfectly prepared to accept if I am deemed to be unreasonable but this feels a but unfair to me.

My neighbours have four kids. One Primary aged, one seventeen year old and two secondary aged and they're loud. My bedroom is next door to one of the secondary aged kids and if I'm on nights on a weekend or half term I kick my eldest daughter out of her room because it is impossible to sleep over the top of their son screaming (and I do mean screaming) at his console game.

The father constantly screams at the two dogs and one of the children. It is every single day. I learned the names of their dogs within half an hour of having the keys because he was constantly screaming at them.

Over the summer holidays they throw garden parties once or twice a week and often take speakers out into the garden. They generally finish up at about 1 or 2am. When they're not throwing garden parties they're leaving the teenager alone who throws wild house parties (think teenagers leaning out of windows screaming and teen girls screeching at each other). Again these finish at around 1am and only once has it got so out of hand that my property was damaged (a concrete bird bath was smashed).

During the day their youngest child plays in my front garden so I have to sit with the curtains closed to stop my own dog cracking up.

I've taken all of this on chin as part and parcel of living in close proximity to other people and although it bothered me because I work 12-15 hour shifts (6pm to 8am or 6am to 6pm or 6am to 9pm) plus I have college so I'm constantly knackered but I always figured it's not their fault I work long, unsociable hours so never complained or disliked them for it.

Last night my family came around for drinks. We were playing music. The speaker is on the party wall but we were talking so the music wasn't excessively loud and the speaker itself is only an iPig type thing not a massive sub woofer like they have.

At around 10pm the bloke from next door almost smashed down the door he thumped on it that hard. He very abruptly told me I was keeping his child awake and that he had to work early in the morning.

I have people round around three times a year. I never scream or shout at my kids or dogs. My kids don't scream at their games consoles until gone 11pm at night. I did apologise and moved everyone to the kitchen which is detached and the furthest we could get from their house but I feel given the level of constant noise they make their actions (mostly the rudeness) were uncalled for. AIBU? And also would I BU to now start complaining when they keep me awake?

I probably won't complain I hate confrontation

OP posts:
Frequency · 20/02/2019 01:35

Their dogs appear happy, healthy and well fed on the occasions I see them. I've never seen them walked but I don't suppose they see my dog walked either so I can't say for certain they are never walked.

Someone comes to my dog on a lunchtime and either walks him or lets him out into the garden for a while depending on the weather and the kids get in from school at 3pm. If I'm out one of them stays home with him. He's old and decrepit now so doesn't cope well with extreme weather. If it's too cold, hot or wet I walk him myself after work as we only take a short stroll around the block.

Their dogs certainly don't appear to warrant RSPCA intervention.

They've been a lot quieter today than they normally are.

OP posts:
category12 · 20/02/2019 02:17

Why is their child playing in your front garden? Why are you closing your curtains instead of sending them to their own?

Frequency · 20/02/2019 11:43

They don't have a front garden. It was turned into a drive and there are always cars on it. I guess that's why they play in mine. Two neighbouring kids play there, one from either side. the other kid doesn't have a front garden on his house. I think they're supposed to play out front where their parents can see them.

The garden thing honestly doesn't bother me. All the natural light comes from the back of the house anyway so it's not like we're sitting in the dark. The noise they make bothers me a bit if I've been on nights but the front gardens are tiny and I would hear them just as much if they were playing in the street outside my garden. I can hardly complain about them playing in the street during the day, can I?

I only used it as an example of how I tolerate them because I think it should mean they're more tolerant of me on the rare occasions I make a bit of noise.

OP posts:
category12 · 20/02/2019 11:50

It's part of a string of examples where you're accepting behaviour that most people wouldn't, and I think it's part of why you're landed in this pickle where the neighbours behave as they please without consideration, and expect you to just put up with it, but if the boot is on the other foot they hammer down your door.

I wouldn't have other people's kids routinely playing in my front garden, I just wouldn't. What if they hurt themselves on something on your property, for one thing? That could really bite you in the arse. Their choice to buy or build a driveway on their own front lawn, it doesn't mean yours should become communal.

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