I'm back to work part time. I have what I would consider to be a fairly wide group of friends, some of whom are really close. But due to life being busy, we don't always meet or talk frequently - I'm equally blame for this.
Anyway, i could write pages regarding my weird ways, how fragile I am with friendships and how secretive I am about this feeling (for example, I'm very careful about putting myself out there more than I think is necessary, so i dont look desperate. My sociable, content husband thinks I'm a basket case in this respect. I over analyse far far too much, and clearly am not outgrowing this at 35).
But to cut to the chase, while I have a good group of mummy contacts from nct and older friendships, on the days where I don't meet anyone because they're busy, I feel rubbish. I feel lonely! And yes I try to put feelers out there,but in the same way I've often got things going on, so do they.
I feel really sad that the close nct group have naturally scattered after we've all gone back to work- some full time. I think a lot about how I must care about this way now than them! But meetups are generally planned months in advance, never spontaneous. And the socially over aware me would never single some of the mum's out for dinners or drinks in between.
I just want mum friends who might be around for a quick post bed drink or meal, or a daytime play date. I want to have days where I'm not just with my son, where I have more social contact than with the man at checkout in Sainsbury's, and I want the same for my toddler son.
For context, we're in a big city, there's lots going on and loads of opportunities. But at every playgroup, nobody seems keen on making a connection. Once again, I stick to the basic pleasantries and look approachable (I think!) But nobody is interested in chatting. So am I the only one out there looking for mummy friends? Did I miss the boat (when 18 month old was tiny and we were all new mums)?
I feel like Sharon in that episode of catastrophe.....
How does everyone else manage to make new mum friends? Or is nobody else really looking? Should i just be happy with my lot? Im thinking about ttc no 2 but im scared this will isolate me further. I appreciate that having children is not common ground enough to sustain a friendship, but based on population here, the available group of mums is huge. I envy children and the simple way in which they make connections
Ps I'm reluctant to try hoop etc in case a mum friend here sees. I'm my own worst enemy.
I guess I want to know if iabu regarding my loneliness and general expectations