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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I've failed my 7 year old **Thread title edited by MNHQ**

61 replies

Wagonwheelsandjammydodgers · 19/02/2019 13:12

I've enrolled dc into an intensive swimming course this half term. DC has been swimming with their Dad a couple of times a month for years and barely made any swimming progress despite him trying to teach skills.

Now age 7, I feel like dc is the only child (catastrophising obviously!) to be a non swimmer and that I ought to have paid for swimming lessons years before now.

Please tell me it is all fine! Grin

This post was edited by MNHQ

OP posts:
Roomba · 19/02/2019 13:47

My six year old can't swim yet. Basically because I've not been able to afford to take him swimming, let alone pay for lessons. I feel shitty about it, but now things are a bit better I have signed him up for lessons. Food was a bigger priority at the time, he'll catch up I hope.

I couldn't swim until I was ten. Due to many years of childhood ear problems and having grommets in my ears, I wasn't allowed to even go in the pool and had to plug my ears with vaseline/cotton wool if I even had a shower. Aged 11.5 I won the regional school swimming gala with my backstroke, so it is possible to catch up, don't worry! And I have dyspraxia (you don't want to see my attempt at breaststroke) so if I managed anyone probably can Grin

SpiritedLondon · 19/02/2019 13:47

I don’t think I would be super casual about my DD not swimming since it’s a fairly important life skill ( from a safety point of view) rather than a mere hobby. That being said I don’t remember having lessons myself outside of the school lessons we had. There seems to be such a big industry that’s sprung up around teaching kids nowadays if our local pool is anything to go by.

Yabbers · 19/02/2019 13:49

One day I just pulled my arm bands off when no-one was looking and swam. I still remember the look on my nans face when I shouted "I can swim now" at her

You sound just like my DD

@SpiritedLondon

Nonsense. Only a problem if they are likely to be anywhere unattended near water aged 6, which they shouldn't be. Even at 9 DD is only near water in the bath or if we take her swimming.

AornisHades · 19/02/2019 13:49

I don't think I learned to swim until 6 or 7. I went on to swim competively.

SparklingTwilight · 19/02/2019 13:50

6 is the perfect age to learn imo. They have some idea about it, about how a class works i.e. that they have to listen to the teacher and try on their own. A week-long course is ideal because they don't forget in between lessons and my DC certainly learnt more at a course than they ever did from us.

CurlsandCurves · 19/02/2019 13:50

While DS1 has always been confident and happy in the water, he refused to have swimming lessons when we tried at age 4/5. Wouldn’t get in the pool full stop.

We carried on going to the pool as a family. Then age 7 he decided for himself he’d quite like to learn to swim properly. It wasn’t long before he was at the same level of swimming as his peers and he carried on right up to lifesaving levels.

DS2 had lessons from age 3 and he was never any further forward in his swimming ability than his older brother at a comparable age.

I think the most important thing is to make sure they feel happy to be in the water, and the rest will follow.

MamaLovesMango · 19/02/2019 13:51

My eldest DD is nearly 6 and has only just started swimming lessons this term, which are more focused on water confidence. She always hated going swimming/swimming pools before that (I hate it too so can’t blame her!) and I never pushed her. A space came up at our nearest tiny leisure centre and she said she wanted to go so I took her lead. There’s loads of other kids her age and older in her swimming class too so clearly a lot of people start them around this age too!

DianeAdores · 19/02/2019 13:51

DC1 was about 6 when he started lessons (we had messed around in pools until then, but he couldn't swim as such - not helped by the fact that I can barely swim myself). He had lessons until I felt he was competent. He is now 17 and has just swum 40 lengths in a school swimathon, despite only generally swimming in the school holidays, and then only occasionally. Others were younger, but that's because they wanted to copy DC1.

ShaggyRug · 19/02/2019 13:53

OP don’t be silly. Here they won’t take kids on the council run swimming lessons until they’ve started school so basically 5. You’re only a year behind that so probably about average. Many of DD’s friends didn’t learn to swim until year 4 in primary when they did the school lessons. You’re worrying about nothing. Hope your DC loves the lessons.

Littlecaf · 19/02/2019 13:55

OP you could have been me Except about riding a bike! My 4yo can’t even sit on his bike and all his mates are whizzing about. I think he’ll just do it when he wants although I’ll keep on encouraging him.

Wishiwasincornwall · 19/02/2019 13:58

I'm 33 and I still can't swim. I managed to take part in canoeing, sailing etc on residential trips with school as we all had life jackets on. Wouldn't go off to the pool with my mates as a teen anyway because I was the only one with no boobs and was too self conscious wearing a bathing suit. Not even fussed about not being in a pool on Holiday as I would prefer to be exploring. So your daughter not being able to swim really isn't the end of the world don't worry.

I can tell by your post that you are coming from a place of concern for your daughter and not from concern over other people judging so I'm sure with your support she will get it in no time and even if she doesn't I'm sure she will have fun this week trying.

shoofly · 19/02/2019 13:59

Local leisure centre only takes kids for group lessons from age 5, so there's no way most of them are competent by 6. DS1 took 3 terms before he'd even put his face in the water and at age 13 he's a decent club swimmer who swims in his school swim team. DS2 is really only making progress now age 7, he'll be in lessons for a while more. The only kid I knew who apparently was highly proficient at the age of 6 Hmm has a horrible technique and can't competently swim 2 lengths...

Crunchymum · 19/02/2019 14:03

My 6yo (year 1) started his lessons half term. Better late than never us my motto. He wasn't the youngest or smallest in his group either.

I've also started the 4yo with lessons this week as well.

cinnabarmoth · 19/02/2019 14:06

My DD 7 is not yet swimming, she is and always has been pretty nervous around the pool so we are taking it slowly. She will get there. She had lessons when she was about 2 1/2 but doesn't remember them, and we tried an intensive course last summer but it moved too quickly for her level of confidence, do we are just going to the pool more frequently to get her confidence up.

I didn't learn to swim until I was at least 8, and it took me months to go from swimming 10m in the shallow end to be able to swim out of my depth.

Don't worry about what other parents do or say about their kids. Some children develop physical skills quickly and at a young age, some take longer; most will get there in the end. Better to take things slowly and have fun IMO than to push them to learn too quickly/before they are ready and risk damaging their confidence.

TheDarkPassenger · 19/02/2019 14:07

My 7 year old was really frightened of wate runtil recently so cannot swim at the minute. He is learning now he’s overcome his fear himself though but it’s a long process

colditz · 19/02/2019 14:10

My oldest didn't learn to swim until he was 12 and his 9 year old brother taught him in the sea. Chill.

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 19/02/2019 14:10

My dc have been having lessons since they were babies at my MILs insistence (and cost). When DDs schools asked for parent volunteers to help with the class swimming I volunteeered as getting children ready for and out of lessons was something I had some experience in. More than half the class (then aged mainly 7) had either not swum or only done some holiday or weekend paddling about before. Apparently this was a completely normal pattern. Don't worry at all about it at all, you really won't be the only parent who hasn't enrolled them in lessons or barely taken them into water before now. If it hadn't been for MIL I doubt mine would have swam much before the school lessons started.

Cla9 · 19/02/2019 14:11

My 6 year old can’t swim. I can’t get him to go in the pool without me! He’s still quite happy playing in the shallow pool when we go swimming.

GregoryPeckingDuck · 19/02/2019 14:13

Where I grew up children were taught early but child drowning deaths were very common and considered a social issue so there was a lot of pressure to get them to swim early on. I was five when I learned (late in comparison to most) and my parents were really anxious about it because we had a swimming pool in the garden so there was a real risk that I would come to harm. In Britain I don’t really see the need. Neither of my children can swim yet. So long as they learn by the time they are eight peso I don’t really see an issue.

diddl · 19/02/2019 14:14

Oooh-ypu're cutting it fine, Op but as long as they learn on this course (no pressure!!), I think that they'll just scrape by as having learnt at an OK ageGrin

GregoryPeckingDuck · 19/02/2019 14:14

I’m a terrible swimmer by the way. I can justabout swim to save my life but that is it. Early learners aren’t necessarily going to become more skilled.

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 19/02/2019 14:14

My DD could just about splash her way through a width at age 13, after training in gymnastics for several years.

She tried out for a Synchro swimming club and they took her on and taught her to swim all 4 strokes in about 8 sessions. She was competing at the National Championships within a year.

I was embarassed at the beginning too, but it doesn't take long to learn to swim once the child is engaged.

Lovemusic33 · 19/02/2019 14:16

I have a 15 year old that can’t swim, not for want of trying (she’s had lessons, extra lessons at school etc..), she’s petrified of water which is strange as I’m a great swimmer, I surf, paddle board and wild swim but she won’t go near water. Her sister in 13, can swim but not very well, she is confident in the water though, just can’t grasp the actions despite 1:1 lessons.

butteryellow · 19/02/2019 14:21

Nah - for a start, my eldest went to lessons for years with no progress. He only learned when we sent him to 3 times a week lessons at the local swimming club for a summer (they were business-like because they were looking for kids for their team, rather than the rather fluffier lessons at the leisure centre)

He went from nervous in water, to jumping in the deep end without a noodle in 5 weeks.

Singleandproud · 19/02/2019 14:23

DD didnt start swimming lessons until she was 7 years old almost 8, she could doggy paddle 25 m but I couldnt drive to get her to regular swimming lessons.

She took to it easily and flew through the stages, I'm sure being older helped as her gross motor skills had developed a lot, she was stronger and could respond to instructions easier than if she had been younger. 9 months into swimming lessons and she swam a mile.
It is now 18 months since she started swimming lessons, she is in the local swimming club and just competed in her first gala and took 2nd in each of her events. She is in stage 9 pre-comp and is also stage 9 synchronized swimming and stage 10 in diving.

So starting late is no indicator of failure, and it definitely depends on the area you live, DD had a swimming party this year and she was the only one who was allowed in the deep end unaccompanied as not many of her friends could swim.