To ask for ‘Life Hacks’ for studying with a young family?

[Bouncebacker]

After four years of doing short contracts and —very little freelance work whilst looking after my kids I’ve just heard I have an interview for a Full Time career changing Post Grad qualification, and I’m suddenly a bit scared! Suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the logistics - I’ll have child care sorted for the actually teaching time, but how will I study? Will everyone still have clean clothes? How many days a week is Cheerios an acceptable dinner for a 3 and 7 year old?

I have a v supportive DH who definitely does half of household stuff whilst he is here but he works long hours and travels, and I’ve been doing most of the everyday stuff for a while now, how do we change that without conflict or never sleeping? And I’ll have to give up my obsession with watching all 14 series of Greys Anatomy currently available on Amazon Prime?

If you have studied full time whilst balancing kids and probably a bit of freelance work too how did you do it and would you recommend it?

And excersize? That’s probably more important than Greys Anatomy I suppose...

Congratulations on your course! I’m just at the end of a graduate medical degree (found out I passed finals last week), and my main tip is to let your standards slip as much as humanly possible . Get a cleaner if you can possibly afford it - a lady comes and does an hour once a fortnight for us, which is the most we could afford, but she gives the kitchen and bathroom a really good scrub. Do all food shopping online. Unfortunately my two won’t eat cereal but have beans or egg on toast for dinner at least a couple of times a week. The other days are an exciting mixture of tuna pasta, sausages and freezer tapas. I save trying to cook new and interesting things that they may not eat for never weekends and holidays. It’s great that your DH does a lot - mine has been fab as well - but do insist that he doesn’t see your study time as optional. We had a bit of a phase a year or two back when DH was getting arsey about having to do lots of solo childcare at weekends while I was studying for exams and after a sit-down chat he realised that because I was in bed with my laptop he was subconsciously seeing it as me having ‘time off’ when in fact it was the same as working. There was also a while where my study time tended to keep getting shoved (because it is inherently flexible) in favour of family time/ kids need new shoes/ the car needs taking for a service etc - and I had to put my foot down and say that no, if I’d said I was going to study at a certain time or for a certain number of hours, then barring life-threatening emergencies I was not available to sort x, y and z, and they’d have to wait just like they would if I was out at work. That was actually mostly a stern talk I had to have with myself rather than DH .

On the flip-side, also relax about the course. I’ve always been a ‘high-achiever’ , got a First in my previous degree etc, but after a year of killing myself to do brilliantly I decided that passing would do, as I’d still be a doctor whatever mark I got. So obv depends what course you’re doing but try realistically to work out what outcome will satisfy you, what you have to do to achieve it, and aim for that. You might well do better, but don’t kill yourself trying to do 30 hours a week extra studying or whatever bonkers amounts your childfree coursemates tell you they’re doing. They’ll be spending most of that time making coffee and pissing about on Instagram anyway.

And for exercise - running around like a headless chicken after two small children definitely counts - but failing that I find 30 minute runs during lunch break with something on Audible works quite well.

I went back to college to do a post grad degree when my children were 5 months, just turning 2 and 3.5 years old.
It was very full on and I had to be super organised in terms of preparing food in advance and freezing it, etc.
This is not going to be the answer you want but I often had to get up at 4.30am to study as the house just wasn't quiet enough when the children were awake and I was simply too tired and had no motivation to study at 8pm when they went to bed.

Id say set aside a couple of hours at the weekend when your DH is home. Either you leave the house and go to the library to study or he takes the kids out somewhere so you have peace and quiet.

I spent time looking over the course and drawing up a study plan for what I needed to get through each week and how many hours that would take.
Be realistic because children will always get in the way of a study plan by getting sick, refusing to sleep, etc.

Its definitely doable but you need to be very organised in terms of making the most of study time.

I found giving myself treats was a great motivation for example if I managed to get up at 4.30am for 3 mornings a week I could take Friday off and sit and watch TV with a Chinese with NO GUILT!

Good luck

I am currently on sabbatical with a 17 month old, writing up a ten year project, so some of my hacks may be of use.

Get a cleaner. Grocery shop online and have the same meals each week on the same day (monday is fish day etc). Don't plan any meals that require more than a twenty min shove in oven time. Get a tumble dryer if you haven't got one.

Then tag team between your dh and yourself. Weekends can be split between mornings and afternoons, or saturday and sunday. One of you takes responsibility for the children for that particular block and gets them out of the house.

We tag team mornings and evenings as well. Sometimes, it's even a case of splitting up time into 90 minute segments where I take 6pm to 7.30pm to work and dh takes 7.30pm to 9pm.

And focus on "turning up" to study, rather than what you've actually managed to get through, iyswim. So concentrate on achieving your desk hours, rather than "I've got to read this book this week". That way, madness lies. You've got to allow yourself "staring into space while thinking about things" time.

And if possible, take a nap in the middle of the day, or at least, withdraw for quiet time for a hour in your bedroom at noon if you can.

Get a notebook and keep it on you at all times. First thing in a morning and last thing at night, write out your reflections about your work. I've had good breakthroughs just before bed this way thar have saved weeks of time.

All the tips here, plus try to find ways to utilise your time wisely. I found that podcasts while driving to places helped. I also played them via my Alexa while doing stuff around the house. YouTube videos, apps etc. Anything I could do on my phone/iPad while sat waiting for my DC to finish classes.

Also, consider getting up before everyone else (unless they're all incredibly early risers that make doing so impossible) and have a clear hour to study. I found it took a little while to adjust, but it later proved to be my golden hour.

Ok, pre-internet, but I would take myself out of the house to a library (work/public/uni) so I wasn’t available for random requests. It also helped me focus rather than seeing all those little jobs that would only ‘take 2 minutes’.
Nothing wrong with something on toast and fruit. Batch cook, shepherds pies, curries, chilli etc
And as Ave said don’t fret about top marks all the time, good enough is good enough

Congratulations!
It will be hard but worth it.
I've just completed an 18 month qualification (post grad equivalent level), I work 3 days a week and have a now 3yo and a 9yo.
All I can say is plan, plan, plan. Plan your study time, your housework time, the time with the children and stick to it. I refused to do any study on a Friday and Saturday evening so I could spent time with DH. I managed without a cleaner and still cooked dinner most nights apart from in the ramp up to exams where I was revising hard. My husband was very supportive and took on a lot more of the child care solo at weekends than usual. But this was only for a few hours at a time. I just did what I could when I could and it worked. It is just about planning and commitment. It's tough but definitely doable. Good luck!

No DC yet, but I'm doing a full-time degree alongside a full-time job. The number one thing that has helped me is becoming more organised. At the start of each term, as soon as timetables are released, I take an hour or two to sit down and put every class, every deadline, and reminders a week or so ahead of each deadline, in my Google calendar. Classes, deadlines and exams are colour coded, and I include the time as well as the date of deadlines. I put notes on the weekends before an assignment is due, and leading up to exams, so I don't accidentally make a social commitment without considering my workload.
We have a class WhatsApp group and I am amazed at how many of the messages are people asking if there is a class today, when is X due, what date is Y etc. Then they end up pulling all nighters trying to finish 3 assignments in one weekend, or missing a 6pm deadline because they thought it was due by midnight.
Oh, and never leave submitting or printing something til the last hour, your technology will know and it will break

You wonderful people

• thank you so much for taking the time to answer. And for being inspirational.

Some really useful stuff here - especially about going easy on yourself - at home and with study - good enough is good enough is a really difficult thing for me.

The suggestion of getting up early to study might be good for me - I don’t think I can manage 4:30am but I’m usually so tired in the evenings that nothing gets done so studying first is worth a try.

I also like the idea of sticking to studying when you set time aside for studying rather being focused on a particular amount of work.