Been referred to group therapy for social anxiety

[Fullofregrets33]

Hi is this normal? Aibu to feel a little miffed or is it the right thing to do?
After many, many months /years of anxiety and social isolation due to to circumstances I finally self reffered to a mental health team in my area, hoping for some counselling and someone to talk to. It took me a very long time to feel strong enough to self refer. Doctor wouldn't do anything for me.

Any way they called me and said they wanted to do an over the phone assessment first to decide best treatment. I wrote notes to prepare and the assessment took over an hour. It was lovely to just talk to someone.
My biggest problem which I expressed is social anxiety. Being stuck at home with friends I've become scared of meeting new people, and don't know what to say in conversation, I cancel plans etc, feel on the outside of what's going on, withdraw into myself in social situations etc.

The lady was lovely and told me I do quality for a full course of cbt, unfortunately there's a 12 to 14 week wait but fine. I will get to see a therapist one to one in our large town. Great.

Next day she calls me back and says her supervisor has looked over my case and wants me to attend the group ctb sessions on generalised anxiety, its on Tuesday afternoons for 10 weeks, somewhere that is 10 miles from here.
Firstly I wouldn't be able to get back to collect the my children from school intime and the 10 weeks also go over school holidays. I don't have childcare help.
Secondly, I told her I wouldn't want to be in a group because of my main problem of social anxiety. I feel like it's really throwing me into the deep end. I absolutely don't want to go and I'm just going to cancel now. I feel annoyed because I don't think this is a suitable treatment for someone with my issues and I'm gutted it took me so much strength to refer myself.
Has anyone actually attended these group things who could tell me what it's like? She said it's classroom based and you just listen and take notes, you don't have to speak. The whole point was I wanted someone to talk to

I think if groups are not for you that's perfectly fine, are you sure it was that the supervisor 'wants' you to go and that they haven't suggested because they have a waiting list.
It sounds as if you can't make it work practically anyway and that is a valid enough reason to not go.
Group work can be very validating for people who feel like they are the only ones who are struggling, to hear how others deal with similar issues can be very helpful for so. But groups are not for everyone and it's fine to say you'd rather wait for 1:1 therapy instead.

Group work as a starting point for social anxiety? That sounds a terrible idea

Hi really sorry you have been suffering for so long but well done for reaching out for help.

Unfortunately with the nhs the timings never seem right and you end up being given appointments that don’t work logistically.

Is there a chance of a friend collecting the kids and trying one of these sessions as an observer?

I’ve had quite a bit of therapy and I find the talking helps, but it’s what the therapist says back to me what really helps I can then do further work on this outside the sessions so I can see some benefit of just listening.

Therapy is a journey. I initially went for birth related ptsd but ended up dealing with loads of issues I have with my narcissistic mother.

If you can logistically manage this please give it a try, or maybe ask for a different time?

I know it’s really hard when you have had to summon up so much energy to start the ball rolling to keep pushing but you’re stronger than you know.

I don’t know what your financial position is could you save up for some private sessions? Or could you speak to someone again and see if they do phone counselling? Good luck op

I was initially offered one individual session (not for anxiety though) and explained the reasons I was unsure about going to group. The therapist took it back to her supervisor and I got a couple of months of sessions one to one.

Well done for reaching out for help.

I will wait to be allocated to the course then speak to them about it I think. She did say I could just go once. They were really really nice, and if it is going to be useful then I would try my best to attend, but I just feel thrown in the deep end.
The Same as if you have a phobia of snakes and as treatment they throw you into a snake pit on day one

Have you tried Silvercloud? It’s online CBT where you get an email supporter who monitors your progress and you can call them at any time. I did the social anxiety version of the programme. Took 8 weeks to complete and now I have access to the programme content for a further year. You can self refer or be referred by your GP.

I was encouraged to do the group option twice for Depression & anxiety and also PND. Both times I explained there was no was I could do it due to my anxiety and they switched me back to the one to one list. They were.very understanding.