To get awkward about this?

[stressedisnotheword]

So...I currently rent from my BIL and have done for well over 5 years.

We have a tenancy agreement but he doesn't do things by the book at all. Despite me paying rent in advance and giving him a bond.
No deposit scheme, no boiler services, no safety checks, no smoke alarms, yada yada.
Everything is very ad hoc and casual, I just make the best of it. Had nowhere else to go at the time.

I'm on the council list, been on it years but going nowhere fast. Classed as adequately housed so not in a priority category.

I am on benefits, have very poor health and am a single mum to 2DC. I do not have the funds available to rent private elsewhere. I can't pay fees or a deposit. I don't have a guarantor. I can't get a loan.

So I keep my head down, pay the rent, and wait on the council list.

This weekend my BIL called me to say him and my sister were over and that I had 1 month notice to leave.
I know he was angry and upset at the time but what a thing to do and what an awful amount of stress it has caused me.

Already unwell and in incredible amounts of pain I have spent the last 2 days searching for what to do and crying and worrying.

Anyway, Ive got myself clued up on all my rights and I know he has to give me written notice and at least 8 weeks. But until he does I can't contact the council or anyone for help. And if he does evict me it will probably mean hostel accommodation at some point until a house is found. (Luckily my exH has said he will not allow the DC to go to a hostel so he will take them in and it will just be me that has to go)

So today I ask BIL if I should ring the council and get the ball rolling, or has anything changed? I get told to hold on as he is trying to "sort things" (whatever that means!)

It would now seem they are trying to fix their relationship (as told to me by another family member) but neither of THEM have actually contacted me to apologise or reassure me in any way whatsoever, so technically I'm left hanging and tbh I think it stinks.

I feel totally trapped. And I feel like my own family have treated me very badly. He should not have rang me to say what he did. It has crossed a line as far as I am concerned.

The thing is I was thinking of giving it until the end of the week and then writing him a letter.
Explaining all the things wrong in the house currently, all the things he is not doing by law and saying that if he doesn't fix it I will report to housing standards.

I just feel like when it comes to paying rent it is all business like and I have NEVER not paid, but when the responsibility of the landlord comes into play I just have to put up and shut up because I'm related and shouldn't make a fuss and be an awkward tenant.

But if I do this it is going to cause a big rift isn't it?
But how else do I get something sorted?

So should I be an arse or should I just let this blow over?

I'm feeling stuck, angry, upset, hurt...if I could walk away tomorrow I would.

Help anyone?

Contact Shelter pronto with all this info.

They will advise best.

Sorry I can't help more

And when you do, definitely mention your deposit isn’t protected in a scheme.

Write the letter. Then go to your Housing dept with a copy. He's in breach of the contract in several ways (maintainance, repairs, deposit scheme). . I'm in similar situation with a non relative LL. Housing paid for me to get legal advice & go to Court. He can now only evict me if he gets the HMO licence he'd never bothered getting & refunds my deposit beforehand. Since then, silence.

If you are paying market rate, treat it like you would any other business arrangement. If you are getting a family discount, consider the options. You may still be better putting up and shutting up, but make saving a deposit for proper housing a huge priority.

He must issue a section 21 notice for it to be valid.

Thanks all.

@SeaToSki
Interesting point you've made about the market rate. I didn't consider that aspect so thank you.

I do pay around £50 less than what he would get from someone else however in order to achieve that amount he would of course have to make the relevant repairs and use an agency, and convert to a buy to let mortgage and have the correct insurance. Unless of course he had another friend or relative lined up?

Also from my POV, I increased my rent following a rise in my housing benefit. (My son turned 10 so I was entitled to more) I agreed to send this increase onto my BIL.

If I do write the letter it may well help me with getting a council house, the only drawback for me would be a rift with my family but tbh I think that's already there after this weekend!

If he gets very pissed off and decides to evict as a result then so be it. As backwards as that sounds that may well be the only route out of here for me; short of being in the list for another 5/6 years.

Saving is not really an option. Whilst we are fed and warm and I am so grateful for that...I guess we are classed as in some kind of poverty...I certainly cannot just buy new shoes if I need them, I have to wait for the next lot of benefit...and heaven help me if ever the washing machine broke..it would mean a trip to somewhere like bright house.

I have to say, before all this I was healthy, had a very well paid job, was married and owned my own home. How things change and I often find myself justifying the fact that I am in benefits. It is a bit of a stigma I find and as soon as you say "single mum on benefits" people seem to make a judgement of me. It's such a shame.
How very fast life and circumstances can change.

Thanks all for the replies.
Just needed honest opinion and to see things from all sides.
Thank you

As a previous poster has said, he HAS to issue you with a section 21 notice. Has he done this? I'm a landlord (lady!) and he must do this to give you 8 weeks notice to leave.

Also...if he's not protected your deposit in a scheme, you can take him to court to claim compensation. They'll either demand three times your initial deposit back or say you don't actually have to leave. You are in a very strong position here...don't be bullied into a corner 👍

www.gov.uk/tenancy-deposit-protection/if-your-landlord-doesnt-protect-your-deposit

This boils my goat, it really does!

💐 for you OP xx

@NorthernKnickers

Thank you so much!

Much appreciated advice.

I'm just in two minds now, he's told me to hold off on ringing the council and he hasn't actually served me anything in writing so I'm assuming I'm safe.

But I am not happy here and the outburst at the weekend has made me feel even more insecure. (Not to mention the awful feeling that my own family don't seem to care one jot at how much upset they have caused me)

I feel like if I make complaints or report him etc now then it will be me that's being a trouble maker. But if I don't do anything I just feel like I'm being walked all over.

It's a crap situation

When this happened to me, it was a blessing in disguise as the council moved and got me somewhere. I ended up with a nice flat.

That was some years ago now and we've since moved to Australia. I am sure it will all work out for the better OP/

I think it would be useful if you were to take the opportunity to ensure everything is,ade legal, although that would mean finding a deposit, ensuring he puts it into one of the deposit schemes. As mentioned, he is unable to send you the Section 21 without a deposit and a gas safety check. He should also have given you the How to rent document at the start of your tenancy. He is on very dodgy ground and an idiot for rushing into this without considering that he has a non-complaining tenant and if he were to kick you out, he'd have to start from scratch finding a new tenant through the proper channels.

Sit tight, OP. I can imagine this is very stressful, but if you're happy renting (dodgily!) then wait it out.

I'm far from happy. But it has been almost 7 years now and I guess it's not until all this that I've realised just how dodgy it all is!

I guess I just thought I would have moved on by now.

I think you are correct in that I should monopolise on this situation. I should take my chance to push him into doing it all properly...I already paid him the bond at the beginning so I won't be paying it again.

I guess he could come back at me with a vast rent increase but that wouldn't be the end of the world because I would then be eligible for extra help and it would mean the council may rehouse me quicker.

I've got a lot to think about.

So his mortgage provider doesn't even know that he's letting the place?

Has he taken out the relevant buildings insurance?

Your paying his mortgage, he needs to show a bit of gratitude. Stuff the family if they're on his side.

No as far as I'm aware it is just the same mortgage he has always had. Even still in joint names with his exW.

So it is not buy-to-let and I very much doubt he has the correct insurance.

To be fair there is only my other sister who knows what has happened and she is as angry as me although trying to be diplomatic.

I just feel like he thought nothing of throwing me out so why should I spare them when it comes to getting things made above board?

In his mind he thought he could get rid of me in 4 weeks, he didn't stop to think of my kids or my health, he just wanted his house back. Fair enough I guess but you can't play the "family" and "mates rates" card just when it suits can you??

Yes I basically pay his mortgage and he puts £40 pcm to it to make up the difference.

Sick of being taken for a mug. A lot of other issues in my life past and present and for some reason I seem to have reached the "fuck them all" way of thinking lately

Definitely contact shelter. They were brilliant when I had landlord problems.

Shelter, CAB, and your local council's housing help dept. Tell them everything. I'm so sorry. The anxiety of this would have me through the roof.

I've not heard anything so still not sure where I stand.
Although I am feeling that things have probably calmed down but they've yet to remember that I even exist!!

Tbh I am very scared to say anything now. I dare not ring, and I'm scared to write a letter.

I know he can't just evict me and I know my rights but my concern now is all the stuff he isn't doing by law that I need him to comply with.

How do approach it without sounding stroppy or as if I'm overreacting??
I don't know what to say or how to say it?

Have you spoken to your sister about this?

He's probably gone quiet because he's realised that if you present to the council as homeless, he then ends up on the hook for licensing, insurance, mortgage fraud, failure to provide gas safety checks, protecting your deposit, tax fraud, possibly fraud related to living with your sister, receiving Housing benefit/LHA when he's a relative and much more.

Talk to Shelter. He quite possibly stands to lose a whole lot more than you, who will at worst, qualify for social housing/be helped to secure a decent private rental.

Op in regards to the housing benefit have you declared that you are related to your landlord? They have quite stringent rules as to whom they’ll pay HB to and if it isn’t declared and the relevant forms filled in you will be liable for all the paid HB, not your LL. I’m sure you have done that but just thought I’d double check

Oh yes they definitely know I rent from my BIL. I declared it from the word go on all the forms and even then I once got a letter saying they thought I had a partner living with me and quoted his name!

I immediately rang to explain the situation and sent in my tenancy agreement. They are doubly aware and have been fine about it.

He's obv changed his mind on evicting me. Which is good. But what do I do now?

I feel as though I should complain at him for treating me this way and also demand that things are put in place to make it more formal. Now is my chance to get gas safety checks etc.

But what if this rocks the boat too much and there's a big falling out?
What if he evicts me anyway because of me being "awkward"?

I'm pissed off and seething inside but I'm also a very quiet person and don't like confrontation in all honesty.

Where is your sister in all this?

Currently avoiding my calls.

Spoken with third sister and told her she will ring me back but so far nothing.

But when it comes to the house I deal with BIL anyway, always have done.