To give up and just be ill

[afrikat]

I'm so fed up. I came down with a mystery illness almost 2 years ago. I never recovered. I've now been diagnosed with ME and I've tried everything to recover. I've read every book and blog out there, tried dozens of different supplements, meditation, yoga, accupuncture, osteopathy, chiropractic, CBT, psychotherapy, whole food plant based diet, paleo diet, keto diet, pacing, resting, pushing myself etc etc. I have refused to accept I won't recover but I'm really coming to the end of my ability to keep hoping.

Although I've made massive improvements from where I was 6 months, a year, 18 months ago, it's still a daily battle to function, to perform at work, to be a parent, a wife, a friend. I am in constant pain from one part or other of my body and the fatigue is always there, to some degree. I desperately don't want to lose my job but I'm just so tired of being positive and never knowing if a particular thing I am doing is helping or an expensive waste of time. Tired of seeing new specialists, getting more tests, trying to find an elusive answer that would explain my symptoms (Yes, I've had my thyroid checked. If you can think it, they have checked it)

WIBU to just jack it all in, stay in bed for the next month and give up my search for recovery?

I can’t advise you about whether to just let your illness take it’s course and let go because maybe you really need to work financially. My SIL had ME for some years and did eventually recover. She has stayed well for many years now but still does pace her activities and lives pretty healthily.

Is taking some time completely out to rest and just be an option for you?

Thanks Matilda. I do love hearing recovery stories and in all honesty I can't take a month off right now. I'm holding onto my job by a thread because of all my sick leave and I do need it financially. I suppose it's a wistful WIBU rather than a serious question.

I hope this doesn't cause me to be hounded but have you looked into cbd oil?

Yes Viola I take it :)