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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to move out of fear of ending up with horrible neighbours?

43 replies

WeCouldBeHerons · 18/02/2019 21:14

My DH thinks IABU but I'm really worried about finding myself with nightmare neighbours if we move.(the many, many neighbours threads on here don't exactly fill me with confidence.)
Where we are now we have lovely neighbours, but of course I know this could change.

What are some red or green flags in terms of neighbours to look for when viewing a house? Any alarm bells you should've listened to?

We will be looking for detached houses in an urban/suburban area and definitely discount any properties with shared drives pr other obvious parking issues.

OP posts:

Shizzlestix · 19/02/2019 14:48

It very much depends on what you want from neighbours. I want to be left alone, polite greetings when we see them, pass the time of day etc. One neighbour was round all the time, it drove me mad, she always wanted to borrow fags, have a drink/moan etc. I cheered when she left.

Another neighbour has mental health issues (we think we're not doctors) and has accused us of stealing her electric/blocking her landline signal etc. We have been persistently harassed, council and police involvement. Her grown up children want nothing to do with any issues. Having bumped into the vendors since, it turns out they had the same problem and that's why they moved. No official complaints made, tho, nothing mentioned when we met them on several occasions. Wankers.

GraceMarks · 19/02/2019 14:48

I would watch out for the landlord more than the tenants tbh - that was where I got stung when I bought my flat. The guy who owns the flats next to and below me is completely feckless and doesn't care how his tenants behave or treat the place, as long as he gets his rent money. So I have had a variety of different neighbours, some of them very nice and some of them a complete nightmare who have gone about trashing the communal areas and dumping junk and old furniture outside the building. It has mainly been me who has had to deal with these problems because the landlord doesn't live there and therefore doesn't care, whereas I do!

If you are looking at detached properties, I guess that's less of a problem for you, but I think looking at the state of repair of neighbouring properties is a good idea, and as is trying to tune into the local gossip. If there are any shops/cafes/pubs nearby, you might be able to get a tip-off that the people at number 5 are drug dealers or number 10 is split up into lots of individually-let rooms and therefore houses lots of students who all have their friends round for noisy parties.

And yy to visiting the area at different times of the day or night, on different days too if you can. Friday night is a good time to get a handle on where the most noise is coming from.

Shufflebumnessie · 19/02/2019 14:51

This may have already been mentioned (I've not read all the replies) but try and visit the property at different times of the day/week. If you view the house on a Tuesday lunchtime it may be all calm and quiet, visit on a Saturday evening and it may be a completely different story.

PCohle · 19/02/2019 14:59

People only post on MN about problems they are having with their neighbours. I'm sure 95% of people get on fine with their neighbours or don't really know them.

Even if you stay where you are your current neighbours could move and you could end up with nightmare neighbours.

I also think a lot of MN posters don't help themselves when it comes to neighbour disputes. Park sensibly and don't build fuck off enormous extensions that ruin the value of your neighbour's house and I think you'll get on fine with most people.

Nat6999 · 19/02/2019 15:07

When I went to view my council house, the next door neighbours came out to ask if I was moving in to the House. I thought that they were ok, it looked to be a quiet street, there weren't many people around & it was very quiet. Fast forward 6 months, I had the mother from one of the houses a short way up the road hammering on my front door & threatening to "smash my face in" because I had fetched my son in for tea & bed & refused to leave his ball & scooter out for her hooligan children to play with. We had a nightmare 2 years before finding someone to exchange with, it turned out to be the kind of area that didn't accept outsiders & unless you had several generations of family, you were seen as an outsider. They didn't want anyone who wanted to live their life quietly & in private. I'm looking to move again but this time won't be accepting anywhere until I have thoroughly investigated the area at all times of day & night & made sure that the area is what it appears to be.

Stopandlook · 19/02/2019 15:14

We made an offer after viewing once (relocating for new job and didn’t want to rent and move twice). Turned out we bought a house with a failing children’s home right opposite. Didn’t come up on any searches and our sellers didn’t disclose. So yes, do some knocking! All ended well with us as ofsted have now permanently closed the home.

OftenHangry · 19/02/2019 18:59

We had a nightmare 2 years before finding someone to exchange with, it turned out to be the kind of area that didn't accept outsiders & unless you had several generations of family, you were seen as an outsider

We've seen a house in area like this. When we walked through the street, it freaked us out a bit because people were gathered in front of some houses as it was sunny and they went quiet for a minute and watched us pass. Gave me shivers.

CottonSock · 19/02/2019 19:08

I asked around and was made aware of a neighbour issue before we bought our house. Knocked on an other door and got the full story. Wild parties! We still bought the house as it was housing association and they had put a stop to it. Occasionally they are noisy, but we get on ok. Generally now they smoke weed, so are quiet hermits rather than the rowdy drunks they were.
We (and others) had an issue when they got an out of control noisy dog. Housing association sorted that too.
I have a lot of credit to this housing association. Tbh the tenants must know that to be living in a large 4 bed house with a large garden, waking distance to a popular city centre, that they would have their house taken, there is no way they would find similar at reasonable rent privately.

Some of the neighbour stories on here fill me with dread.

greathat · 19/02/2019 19:25

We reported our old neighbours to the police. I wonder if they declared anything when they moved out. The man's dead now, we've been reliably informed there were cheers in the village pub when the news broke... don't go for anything with a shared drive! The never knowing whether you're going to be blocked in when you try and leave for work in the morning, or yelled at when you open the front door, gave me panic attacks.

greathat · 19/02/2019 19:27

Current neighbours are lovely, as were our neighbours in the house before that

Minglemangle · 19/02/2019 19:57

Having previously worked for a local authority where part of my role involved logging neighbourhood complaints, I think you are right to investigate before buying. Unfortunately there are all sorts of problems out there, antisocial behaviour, parking/hedge disputes, dogs barking (dog breeding), CCTV/privacy issues etc.

Original poster

WeCouldBeHerons · 19/02/2019 20:27

I will do lots of investigating and will speak to potential neighbours and definitely, definitely no shared drives!

OP posts:

Hodgehegg · 19/02/2019 20:44

I read on another thread someone suggested checking out the local council planning dept on line. Might pop up some information with regards to the neighbours. This could have actually flagged up our neighbours from hell as they complained about pretty much anything anyone did. They extended their home (without objection) but when the neighbours on the other side of them applied to do exactly the same extension they objected to the council and tried to get it stopped. They also objected to extensions in different roads as they were "concerned it would alter the wind direction"! Bat shit crazies.

Original poster

WeCouldBeHerons · 19/02/2019 21:43

Oooh @Hodgehegg that's a really good idea.

OP posts:

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 19/02/2019 22:05

My dad always told me to try and always avoid situations where something is “shared” with neighbours - particularly when the “whose is whose” is not very clearly defined,

So shared driveways, paths etc are to be avoided.

mumofamenagerie · 19/02/2019 22:14

I live on a council/ex-council estate and have always had either lovely or quiet neighbours, one side looks after our pets when we are away and don't hear a peep from the other side, the family opposite have swapped and again nice and quiet. My family and others recommended against us living here but it's been brill. Lots of lovely people.

We lived on another estate before that and the same again, one side lovely, the other side silent... and before that, we had the best neighbours in the world who I would have brought with me if I could have done, again on a small 'chavvy' estate (other people's description not mine, I loved it).

My parents are rich and live in a huge detached house and one of the neighbours is the neighbour from hell. All others are lovely.

So out of about 20 different neighbours over the years, only 1 set have been any problem. The odds are in your favour!

blue25 · 19/02/2019 22:21

Slide/swing/trampoline next door is a no. Scruffy garden is a no. Hot tub in garden is a no.

We knocked on the house next door but one to ask about the area/neighbours. It put my mind at rest when he described the area and people as quiet! I've had bad neighbours-it can make your life hell. A detached house is a great start though.

StoneofDestiny · 19/02/2019 23:19

Have always had great neighbours, but always worry if they should move as having bad neighbours must be horrendous.

I'd avoid shared access/drives
Flagpoles - Union Jack's flying etc
Too many cars on drives (particularly any being stripped down)
Scruffy gardens
Barking dogs
Anything that makes property look unloved
Being too near a shop, pub or school (litter, noise, parking)

Park up a few times at different times of the day to see people coming and going ...............

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