I’ve been on here for a while, infrequent contributer but daily reader.
An incident recently has made me realize how much I’ve been influenced by reading this section and just want to say thank you.
Recently I had a big birthday, someone I considered a good friend apparently set up a WhatsApp group at the start of the year with our mutual friends wanting to arrange a surprise day, obviously I had no clue about this. Anyway surprise was yesterday and original organizer wasn’t there, not unusual as I had noticed she hadn’t been at a few meet ups recently. Anyway friend asks if we’ve fallen out, and explained that as details were being worked out she messaged the group saying she wasn’t coming and wouldn’t be contributing, when asked what’s wrong didn’t reply and hasn’t been in touch since. I honestly have no clue what’s gone on. We were really close before she changed her work hours and I just assumed her lack of contact was because she was busy.. now back to the point (finally!) normally I’d obsess over this, question what I’d done, feel shit about myself, get worked up and upset and message her and want to know, but my mumsnet mentality has kicked in and when told my first thought was that I’m not responsible for how she chooses to act, or what she does, and if she doesn’t want to be friends that’s all on her ( I’m a little curious but nothing like my pre mumsnet reading self, and certainly not enough to go asking, I just really can’t be bothered with it, if there’s a problem say so) and it’s not just this, thinking about it in life in general. I no longer feel the need to explain myself as much, I don’t feel such a walkover. Im confident in saying no without making excuses, and still being polite, and genuinely believe I’m a lot less stressed because at the back of my mind I think ‘what would a mumsnetter do’ in situations where I’d normally lose confidence.
So my Aibu isn’t really an Aibu but a thank you for showing me the light.