How often kids stay at dads

[whatsnormal]

Ok will try keep short - separated almost 3 years I let ex see kids when ever he wants and he lives in a friends house, I have now asked for one weekend a month for him to have dc from Friday to Sunday and once a week at weekends either Friday or Saturday night aibu to ask for him to have kids one night at a weekend ? is it to much? My kids are like but we stayed there last week? Not sure what seems the norm I know everyone is different, I also let him come to mine one night in the week to see them, I just feel like I need some time to my self now

I think as long as it works for all concerned, then its not a problem.
How old are the children, how many are there?
Are the children happy staying with their father, the comment "but we stayed there last week" might suggest otherwise, or could just be a general do we have to go again.
x

Mine are supposed to be with their Dad every other weekend (3 nights) and Wednesday nights. In practice they rarely do this as both 1. They prefer being at mine (10 and 5) because it's nicer - even though he has a bigger house and more money they don't find it homely there, 2. He is often ducking out at the last minute.

I used to go to my Dad's once a week on a Friday night and got picked up Saturday morning. Depends on the family and what works for them I guess

If he's living in his friends house then presumably it depends if his friend is willing to have your kids stay over?

I wouldn't think it was hugely appropriate if he still lives with a friend (who isn't a partner). Especially if it's the friend's house and not a shared tenancy or anything. The kids presumably don't have a room of their own, don't have free run of the house, etc. But I don't know the situation so...maybe?

What do your kids want?

My 3 year old goes to her dad one night a week and every other weekend Saturday - Sunday, this is court ordered. ExH wanted every weekend without the weeknight contact but court said she should have weekend time with both of us.

In reality he cancels the weeknight contact a lot, and the overnights haven't started yet, he tends to just have Sunday on his weekend.

They have a room there and they are 10 and 14 I just feel it should be more structured as he would just have them when ever he wanted unless I stayed I was busy I'm just not sure really hats acceptable to ask after (my fault entirely) giving him free reign as and when he liked because I felt bad he was not living with them, the friend he lives with they have been friends since age 3 so noo problem and he can take them to his g/f at times I just think one night a week is ok but wondering if I'm wrong?

Would every other weekend not work? Then you're both getting a full weekends with them, and full weekends without.

My DP currently does every Friday night with occasional full weekends, (plus one night mid week) and it feels very disjointed. Like you're hanging about all day Saturday waiting to drop his DS off.