Friends hen do/wedding 6 weeks PP

[CaseofEllen]

Hi everyone! A question about hen do/wedding plans for my friend when I'm 6 weeks PP (4 if baby is overdue).

My close friend is getting married when I'm 6 weeks PP, she asked me to be a bridesmaid before I found out I was expecting. By the time we got around to buying dresses I was 4.5 months pregnant so brought a dress bigger than my usual size, however the dresses my friend and her other bridesmaid chose can't be altered due to material. I suggested we go for something similar but that could be altered just in case but they weren't keen.

Her other bridesmaid keeps bringing up hen do, I have said something like an afternoon tea/lunch out as I'll be BF so would need to bring baby and that they should do something else as well (I think she wants to do a spa and cocktail evening) but I can't commit to it yet.

The closer it gets the more comments like 'you'll have to work out to make sure you get in dress'/'why can't you express so you can commit to hen do' etc. I don't want to express and risk reducing milk flow so soon into BF and have explained this.

AIBU? Am I being a bad bridesmaid? I'm trying to figure it all out but in my mind baby comes first.

You're not being a bad bridesmaid; the person (other bridesmaid? The bride?) pressuring you to work out or express is being a terrible human being. If it's the bridesmaid saying these things, have a chat with the bride. If it's coming from the bride, have a good long think about whether you really want to be a bridesmaid for someone like that.

If it were me I would drop out altogether. Four weeks PP! No thank you. But I don't care about weddings tbh.

Baby comes first. In your place I would be strongly considering dropping out of the bridesmaid duties, it's going to be a logistical nightmare at 6 weeks w/BF and the others are clearly not interested in working with you on this.

Talk to the bride.

What does the bride want to do for the hen do? If she's happy with afternoon tea, go with that otherwise I would let the others arrange something and say you can't make it. Are there likely to be others who only want to attend a daytime event? If so, maybe there could be an afternoon tea that extends into evening drinks for those who want it? I would really check with what the bride wants though.

You are not being unreasonable at all! My bridesmaid is due exactly the same dates for my wedding and I bought her a different dress (jumpsuit) that allows for boob access and the baby is 100% to be present at the wedding for breastfeeding if she is and just because it's her baby and she won't want to leave it! Any comments about expressing ect from others I've just glossed over and sent her little card so she knows she is to do what ever makes her happy and comfortable. Your so called friends are being awful. Is there someone else that could fight your corner a bit? I remember when I was pregnant I didn't like to put my foot down too much for some reason! Afraid of being the arsey pregnant one I guess!