Career drop-off

[Notmyrealname855]

I don’t really know what else to call this..

Have always had the same very intense, high octane career. Tbh there are times I’ve loved it and hated it, but I’ve always wanted to feel in control of my career choices.

I’m in my 30s and... I’ve dropped off the career ladder! My last boss essentially was sexist, kept giving work to only the men in our small team. I handed in my notice, I’m not bringing a claim as too much work but did make a note of my reasons for leaving when I went.

Now I realise I’m too niche to move elsewhere easily, and that’s it for that career! I knew this would happen before I gave my notice. But now I just feel not much, and wondering how anyone has careers they love and keep them long term.

Has anyone else had a career just stop like this? I suppose I’ve gone from feeling quite important to being a bum :) I don’t really know what to feel, I’m not very inspired to do anything else! I have saved a little and no mortgage etc so no need to make a move right now. Jealous of those still at my old place, plodding on and getting income though.

If you’ve ever made a career change in your 30s please let me know! Feel a little bit like I’m staring into the abyss!

Don’t mean my post to seem disrespectful! I’ve worked my whole boring life at this job to try and get security i lacked in life as a child, and had a panic attak last week wondering what the hell ive done handing in my notice! Any inspiring career change stories would be greatly appreciated! AIBU to think it doesn’t end here, that careers can go on/ career changes are possible? Where do you start looking?!

Avivah Wittenberg-Cox writes about this phenomenon. Its widely regarded to be baby-related but it happens to women without kids too. If you can stay in your career till your 40s then it picks up again apparently but many women drop off the career ladder before then.

Happened to me but definitely linked to having a family. I'm still at the same company but have a job not a career.

Yes twice already in my 30's and I'm 38. I'm a serial career changer as I get bored so easily. Not high-octane careers though and I am steadfastly self-employed after some shocking bosses in my 20's. The hard part is deciding what suits but I think, at 38, I've finally decided what I want to do when I grow up and have been working towards that for the last year. Can you reveal your line of work? I'm sure we can help with suggestions?

Suppose it happens to so many, there can’t be loads at the top and the rest of us have to go somewhere!

My job was in the City, think consultancy/law type of job. Problem is I’ve always come across a block of old blokes at the top and unfortunately in my case they don’t want to promote anyone but their own (totally appreciate this isn’t the case in most companies). They had a circle of men around them and the women would just disappear at a certain level (all “above board” of course!).

I can either get a job at a competitor, which would likely be the same problem. But the money is good so maybe just stick it out for as long as possible, and get that cash while I can? I’d never be able to get that sort of salary again so maybe I should just grab my chance.

It’s just dismaying that you get to a certain level, and think “where are the women”. And then you get pushed too. Maybe this is an AIBU that women get pushed out! Or an AIBU to take time off work, though not sure it’s all roses if that undercuts your chances of finding work in the future

If you can afford to take time off then would say, a year, affect your chances of going back to it for a competitor? But I'd want to take full advantage of the year and travel europe in a motor home or something rather than just fall into idleness! Plus a year off like that is easier to explain at interview. It's totally possible to do something totally different and even retrain if you can afford it but you'll likely end up with something on far less pay. That might be attractive if you can manage on little money and job satisfaction is more important! Do you have dependents or can you just consider yourself?

Were I you, I'd look for a job at a competitor. It might surprise you, it might not, but you've got nothing to lose by giving it a shot.