To apply for this job too?

[DitzyPrints]

My best friend has told me she’s applied for a job and asked for my input as it’s a field I have experience in.
She wasn’t sure if it would be for her but was excited at the prospect- I said if you don’t go for it let me know as the hours are ideal for me and I’d love the job.
She said to go for it as well but I feel guilty.
It’s a pay increase for both of us on our current earnings.
She needs the money but so do I currently in massive debt and the hours would mean pay increase without extra childcare.
Do I go for it too?

So difficult!

Talk to her again and be very honest.

If one of you got it perhaps you could eventually recruit the other one? Some firms give a bonus for bringing a new employee in (so they don't have to pay agency fees).

She's a lovely friend to encourage you.

She must have known this could happen if she spoke to you

And yes, you're benefitting from her finding the job advert (why aren't you looking btw, if you'd be interested?) but then she has also benefitted from your knowledge.

Prob best to say to her that you're seriously considering it, then agree at what point the 2 of you would stop talking about it, e.g. if yo both get called for interview and have to prepare stuff you should probably not be discussing it at all.

I would go for it. She might not get an interview, never mind the job. But as she brought it to your attention I think you should be returning the favour and looking out for something that is very suitable for her.

The worst thing you could do is be sneaky about it. Tell her you'd like to apply but only if it's ok with her. Then if you both get interviews, have the conversation again.

But you already said in your OP that your friend said ‘go for it’ about you applying for the job. It’s a job you’re talking about not stealing a boyfriend.
So you either want the job and apply or you don’t. Your friend would not have said ‘go for it’ if they didn’t mean it, right?

I would have seen it probably this week.
I feel shitty for even thinking about it! Dh says to apply as it’s directly related to my qualifications and a rare role (in terms of hours v.rare to be part time).
But I think probably best friend was being polite.

it's potentially job vs friendship. which one is more important to you?

I think if you would have come across it and applied anyway then you shouldn’t be prevented from applying because friend spoke to you about it.

There is a difference.

But be honest with your friend as others have said.

but if it's not really her expertise, and she's after it just because she wants to move jobs, then she's quite unlikely to get it. If she did get it she could end up hating it as it's not her area.

You going for it doesn't really affect that. Unless you were literally the only other applicant, it will make no difference, really. If it's rare and desirable, there could be many applicants, and she won't stand a chance.

Just apply she said it was fine so take her at her word.

I think she was too op, it's the sort of thing I'd say as I'd feel awkward otherwise, I think to not say that is basically saying "no, please don't apply for it" iyswim.

I agree with a pp, I think I you need to have a think about what's more important as this is very potentially a friendship ender.

So your area of expertise, not hers

You would have seen the ad, it isn't a secret listing

And now it is also a rare post in the field.

You would be mad / ultra passive not to apply for it

If your friendship is as good as it is long you will both be able to come to terms with any outcome and remain friends.

If she really didn't want you to apply, she'd have kept quiet. OR at least waited until after the deadline to ask questions.

She's been up front about it, knowing that you could be interested. She probably had thought about this before she even spoke to you.

The outcome of the recruitment process is out of both of your hands anyway and even if you don't apply, there is no guarantee that your friend will get the role anyway.

I think you should have another chat with your friend but with the intention to apply.

As she is a very good friend, I would say ‘I’m not going to go for it because you came to me first for help, and I want to help you - so when can I help you do your application?’

If she then says she thinks you should go for it, talk about how it will feel if one of you gets an interview and not the other. If the conversation settles your mind, go for it, otherwise, this is one to let go for the greater good of a friendship.