To have a Sunday rant because I feel like my life is in a rut?

[user875]

I'm in a proper negative mood today- it's probably stemmed from being bedbound with illness for a few days.
I just feel like I'm in a rut.
DS is 2. DP and I have been having on/off relationship issues since he was born and at this point, I have no idea what I want to happen in the future.
Money is so tight:
I am trying to hunt for a house within my price range (we are in a 3rd floor flat right now) to make into a family home and it's just not happening. My lease is up in a few weeks.
I've spent a small fortune on driving lessons and still haven't passed although I want to drive so bad, but now I'm so panicked because I can't see how I'd afford tax/insurance/petrol/maintenance when I can barely afford shopping some weeks.
Have lost a weeks money to this illness which we really can't afford.
Not sure what I want to do job wise. Working in a healthcare type job at the minute and basically being used as the person who does all the shitty jobs that no one else wants to do. I'm not sure what to do as I'm clinging onto this job as the hours fit so well with nursery hours.

Ugggghhh, I just feel like I'm going to be stuck in this job for the hours, never be able to have my own house, not even be able to afford to drive and never know if I'm in the right relationship.

AIB unreasonably negative?

Not unreasonable at all.
I do think you should focus on things one at a time.
Your top priority is finding a home for you and your son.
Forget the driving lessons and getting a car at the moment. That will come in time.
As for your relationship, it sounds toxic. After you move, end it. It'll be better to end it whilst your son is young. He'll grow up used to mum and dad living separately.
As for job, persevere until you find something you really want to do. Perhaps, when your son is at school.
HTH.

have you checked whether you're eligible for 15 free hours childcare? for some it's 2+ but most not til 3.