AIBU to refuse to lie down during labour?

[TooManyTerrapins]

Not actually in labour right now but due DC2 very soon.

With DC1 birth I was coping all right with contractions by moving/standing. As soon as I got into hospital they wanted me to lie down in triage for monitoring. It was agony but I went along with it. Then they weren't too happy with trace so wanted me to lie down a bit longer, ended up there for ages.

Got admitted to labour suite where midwives said they'd let me get up, move about, get on the ball etc even with monitoring. But then the monitoring belt kept slipping every time a contraction came (I physically couldn't stay still and kept squirming on bed), so it was lie down a bit longer... just a little bit longer... right the way through labour.

This time I really DON'T want to lie down, at all, not even in triage, not even 'just for a little while'. I know I'll be on CFM this time round too but hospital has telemetry monitoring now so that should make it easier to stand/move? I don't mind internal exams in principle but don't know if they can even be done w/out lying on back, so I would rather avoid altogether if that's the only way to do it.

AIBU? I know they can't MAKE me lie down if I outright refuse but I don't want to be pegged as difficult and pressured and eyerolled at, and I know from last time that I will have no energy to argue once in established labour.

I laboured and gave birth in a pool. Can’t remeber much really but do remember telling the midwife to fuck off when she asked me to turn over (I was on my knees) so that she could examine me.

I’ve had 4 births - 2 flat on my back! And 2 standing up (inc delivery - midwife was a good catch!) standing was far easier and quicker and the midwife encouraged me to stand - she said if you lay down it’s like trying to push the baby uphill.

I had DC3 in a pool, in a MLBU in hospital. No one examined me or even touched me for that matter (apart from holding my arms to help me get in the pool). It was a fantastic birth. It can happen. Respect and feeling 'safe' makes the difference in outcome for the mother and baby.

Of course it’s not unreasonable! I hate reading ‘they might let you’ or ‘I wasn’t allowed’... you do not have to go along with anything they recommend. It’s just that- a recommendation. You’re an adult who has the same rights over their body as before pregnancy. You can’t be told by someone else that you’re ‘not allowed’ to get up from a bed.

I would just inform myself as much as possible in order to make the best choices on monitoring and other aspects of birth.

My midwife was very encouraging of me moving around, going on the ball and doing things other than straight to ‘flat-on-back on the bed’ and, for me, I definitely think it helped.

I had SPD in both pregnancies. By the final week of DS1's pregnancy, the combination of SPD and gaining 50% of my bodyweight in 4.5 months, mainly in my abdomen meant I could barely stand. After 24+ hours of regular contractions I was finally admitted to labour ward at about midnight... I was bloody exhausted to begin with and ended up on my back... at lunchtime I had an EMCS for a distressed baby after 2 hours of pushing, and some of my organs were showing signs of distress resulting in me going to HDU for 36 hours.
There was one point around the pushing stage where I emerged from the pethadine fog and wanted to get off my back. I did briefly get off on to my feet, but just couldn't stand and ended up being back on my back feeling crushed under the weight of my abodomen again.

It always bothered me that being on my back had contributed to slow labour, emcs and complications, and that powerless feeling came back in flashbacks.

I spent the labour of my VBAC on my knees over a birthing ball, with the MW holding the belt for monitoring in place. It was much better and I only spent 3 hours in hospital before baby was delivered. There was a panic over his trace which resulted in being rushed to theatre and a toss up between EMCS or forceps. Forceps with 3rd degree tear won, but DS was in great condition. I'm not sure how paranoid the response was, frustrating when my mobility was still impaired 3 months later.

Mobile monitoring was supposed to be potentially avaliable according to my preparation visit to labour ward, but I got blank looks on the day. Instead we rearranged the bed, got a mat and birthing ball so that I could get as comfy as possible.

Both babies were back to back so not going to be the easiest, but being able to kneel felt much more natural despite my restricted mobility. Despite the birth injury, mentally I felt much more in touch with what was going on and found the VBAC healed a lot of the trauma from the first time.

This happened to me with my first. I was so happy on my knees hanging over the end of the raised bed end, I got have 100% go en birth like that but the midwife made me move into my bag even after I'd said no. I then had to give birth on my bag feeling really uncomfortable Unless you or baby are at risk for some reason then make sure your birth plans contain the desire to birth in whatever position you damn well choose.

*could have 100% given birth
*then had to give birth on my back
God damn phone!

Updating for anyone who finds this thread in the future looking for advice on similar issue:

The birth itself ended in EMCS after I got to the pushing stage, which wasn’t exactly my plan! But, until that point I laboured standing up and either pacing the room or leaning on the bed which they raised up for me. I only lay down for an exam on admission (which they did fast between contractions) and one at 8cm (ditto).

The midwives were fantastic, the labour ward midwife spent most of her time sat on the floor by my feet. The pain was much easier to manage this way by a factor of about 100 and I felt much more in control and less helpless than in my last labour.

Sorry it didn't wrap up as you would have wanted, but overall sounds like a much more positive experience for you. Congratulations on your new baby!

Congratulations xx