To ask if you would tell a man his drinking/partying will ruin his relationship

Flyingfish2019 · 2019-02-17T02:41:02+00:00

With the mother of his child when 1) I do not know him very well 2) A lot of other people who know him better see it too but nobody says something because they think it is his business ?

5 replies

Flyingfish2019 · 17/02/2019 02:41

With the mother of his child when

I do not know him very well
A lot of other people who know him better see it too but nobody says something because they think it is his business ?

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goodolddaze · 17/02/2019 02:46

Not unless he asked or a situation arose in which my friend (his partner) asked me to speak to him.

Original poster

Flyingfish2019 · 17/02/2019 02:52

No, he did not ask and nobody asked me to speak to him. It is just that I always feel sorry if I see somebody ruining his relationship/his life and nobody says a thing.. and I do hope that if it was me ruining my relationship/life people would say something.

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yakari · 17/02/2019 03:02

I have a similar friend, but we sound like we're probably closer. I have mentioned it - more in terms of if he ever wanted to chat or have some help I was there. Then left it. He has occasionally approached me to chat things through - he knows, he's just not ready to change. And I get enough about addictions to know there is a not much else I can do until he is ready to change.

I guess my questions would be what makes you think no one has said something - they just aren't publicising it? And also what makes you think he isn't aware himself - but just not ready to change? If you're not close you risk coming across as judgmental and interfering both to him and your friends. If you really want to help, reach out to mutual friends and find someone close enough to understand the situation better.

FrogFairy · 17/02/2019 03:05

If he gave a shiny shit about his partner and child he would not need telling.

Sorry to be harsh but if he can’t see what he is doing, leaving her to cope alone and spunking family money on getting pissed then he deserves to lose them and they are better off without him.

Original poster

Flyingfish2019 · 17/02/2019 03:13

@Frogfairy One the one hand I get your meaning but once other hand I think maybe he is struggling.
I heard it from other men that they acted like this when they were struggling. For example a friend of mine who was later diagnosed with ptsd did and nearly lost his wife and children because if it... and it reminds me of his story.

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