To wonder what you do when you earn too much to qualify for any benefits

[stangel]

But outgoings don’t add up?

Giving serious thought to having a child: monthly income is £2400. Bit mortgage and nursery fees wipe out £2000 of that leaving £400 for bills, food and petrol.

It doesn’t add up, does it?

Stangel I never said she’s incorrect.

I’ll rephrase.

The mn population is massively skewed. There’s a large proportion of high earners, for whom £1k a month per ft nursery place is completely doable. Paying £1k a month in childcare per child is bandied around like it’s the norm.

I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. But in rl, most people don’t earn enough to pay £1k per child. Lots of people can’t afford 5 days of 9-5 care at £50 a day per child.

So they look at alternatives. Compressed hours. Night shifts. Part time. Flexible hours. Cheaper options like Childminder’s.

Most people I know are somewhat creative. No one I know sits back and goes ‘oh it will have to be £1k a month in childcare’.

I hate these threads. So many variations can make a massive difference. 45k isn't a massive amount in the general scheme of things even if it's higher than the average. Living on 13k if you don't have to is madness. All the "I can do it on.....k" and "this is a stealth post" is both childish and unnecessary.

45k is a lot of money. I think most people think 45k is a lot of money.

I think this thread shows the chasm between the rich and poor. People spending more than I earn a month on childcare alone and moaning about how badly off they are and how they should be able to claim benefits. It's annoying.

45k is a lot of money. I think most people think 45k is a lot of money
What is a lot or not a, lot of money is the disposible income you're left with after all essential bills are paid.

£45k can be a lot or not depending on these. I would say that as a single mum working FT and a child in ft childcare, in the SE or London, it will not be a lot.

On the NW, with a child who doesn't require childcare, it's a pretty good income.

@NameChanger22 you’re an idiot not to claim if you earn that little. You must also either own your home outright or live somewhere with really low rent. You couldn’t even rent a studio where I live on that without housing benefit.

I bought the house 20 years ago. I paid very little for it and did all the work on it myself. In some parts of the country you can still buy a house for 50k, they just take a bit of hard work.

it's all relative - 13k provided you don't pay rent/mortgage and for childcare is plenty.

45k for a lone parent with big mortgage and nursery fees isn't an awful lot.

You have no housing costs name changer. Your situation isn’t remotely similar to the op who it seems has housing costs of £1k per month.

Earning so little and struggling with no help is ridiculous.

Put your kids first before your ridiculous idealtic whims. You get no medals for being a martyr.

45k is a lot of money. I think most people think 45k is a lot of money.

Not if you live in or around a city.

And it's ok saying 'move somewhere cheaper' but that's not always an option.

Especially if you want to remain in the same job and near your family, at a time when you're likely to need them most.

Not everyone needs to live in London and the SE, there are other places in the UK you can move to that are a lot cheaper. I would also be skint if I lived in the SE, so I don't live there, I like to have money for other things and I don't want to be dependent on other people. If you live beyond your means you are going to have no money, even a billionaire can become bankrupt if he spends too much.

I think it depends where you live.
I'm on the same money give or take but my mortgage is a lot less as houses are a lot cheaper here than in the South.

£45k with a mortgage in the northwest is a whole lot different for a mortgage in London or Milton Keynes.

If you are looking for a reason why you can't have kids, fair enough, but it is actually manageable ...just involves sacrifices

An example could be renting out a room. Or indeed getting a live in au pair type person. Or living off savings/borrowing to pay childcare for first two years. Working from home one day a week. Also, unless going sperm donor route, factor in maintenance or shared care/nursery costs

I don’t live in the SE name changer.

I couldn’t survive on £13k.

A single parent on benefits isnt going to get more than you get without benefits

NameChanger22 most people will want/need to live near family and stay in their jobs if they're considering getting pregnant.

Tbh, your situation is so far removed from most people's there's little point in mentioning it to the OP.

I wouldn't pay the high fees if I had any other choice. I have no other choice. I am very jealous of people that have family help/flexibility/condensed hours etc

Not everyone needs to live in London and the SE, there are other places in the UK you can move to that are a lot cheaper
Indeed but you'd need to get a £45k job where you are moving which might not be available for the level of qualification one has.

The point though is just that, that £45k will be high for some, not for others.

A single parent on benefits isnt going to get more than you get without benefits

in that case, the childcare costs would be zero and rent probably covered by housing benefit. totally irrelevant for OP.

Perfectly - You probably could survive on 13k if you paid your mortgage off and had no debts. We don't feel like we are missing out on anything.

OP just needs to go back in time and buy a house 20 years ago. easy

Tbh, your situation is so far removed from most people's there's little point in mentioning it to the OP.

My point was that 45k is a lot of money and most people could manage fine on it. Most people manage on a lot less.

She can't rely on CSA if her and the father are not together. She needs to be really wary relaying on that if it's not via a sperm donar route.

Just like I can't rely on it.

My daughters father earns in excess of £100k per annum. He fiddles his books to pay himself about £8k a year so CSA have advised he needs to pay £16 a week. He doesn't even pay that and it appears they can't actually make him either. But that's another thread.

If the OP can downsize and hopefully gain a bit of profit from it I think she would be more secure doing that.

Even if was paying 7k a year mortgage and earning 7k more like lots of people I know, we would still be managing the same as we are now, which is perfectly fine.

That may have been the point you wanted to make but the point that came across is 'it's much easier if you don't have monthly housing costs'.

I agree that you could make it work....if you really want to.
It might not work with your current spending and working arrangements, but a few minor alterations could make it possible. The question is whether you want the child enough tho make hide minor adjustments.

£45k may not be a Hugh salary but it's also more than a. Lot of people have and who don't get help or much help. Therefore it is doable. Everyone who chooses to be a parent has to make some adjustments to their life, and you will too.

Your mortgage is high, so can you adjust the term to reduce the monthly payments until your child enters free child c are or school? Can you look at cheaper childcare options? Even these 2 things can make it possible. Good luck with getting your head round it al and deciding if you really want to.

A friend of my has had a baby alone using a donor. She has returned to week part time earning only £22k and paying for a nursery for 2.5 days per week. She's saved enou to give her an extra £100 per month for 3 years. Things are very tight and she has no holidays etc, but she really wanted to be a mum and is thrilled that she became pregnant and has her hearts desire. She knows these early years are the hardest financially and is prepared for that.

My point was that 45k is a lot of money and most people could manage fine on it. Most people manage on a lot less.

And again, most people in your head, don't live in the SE or in/around cities.