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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that most women are taking anti depressants?

652 replies

Jambalaya76 · 16/02/2019 10:56

Hi

I have been on and off these for most of my adult life. Life is easier with them and I find I am more able to cope with life stresses. I feel normal and tend to let upsets go over my head. Life is better with them. However, I have had a lot to deal with in my little life so feel like a need a little help.

Over the years, I have met so many people who say they also take them. Not that I ever bring it up. It made me wonder if I was to ask people, I wonder how many are taking anti depressants? This seems the perfect forum to ask.

So, how many of us woman here take, or have taken, antidepressants?

OP posts:
PrickWhittington · 16/02/2019 22:44

That belief should not be mocked.

Oh for goodness sake. It's not being mocked - it's being challenged. With context and facts thrown in. Pointlessly though, it would seem, may I add...

Beamur · 16/02/2019 22:45

I don't take them and so far haven't needed to. I don't actually know very many women of my age (,late 40's) who do. Just one or two maybe.

WineCheeseSleep · 16/02/2019 22:46

I've never taken them but would take them in a heartbeat if I needed to, I've just been lucky not to experience depression etc.

I don't think it's most women that take them from my experience but a fair percentage.

PrickWhittington · 16/02/2019 22:54

I've just been lucky not to experience depression etc.

Amen Grin

I think the 'I'd never take them' comments can touch a nerve because it suggests that doing so is always a choice, when it isn't always, sometimes it is a necessity. And people talking of 'strength or weakness' of mental health is always going to be potentially insulting to anyone who has suffered true depression, as it suggests they are 'weak minded' which is unhelpful, unkind and more importantly, untrue.

Dutchesss · 16/02/2019 22:55

That belief should not be mocked.
It's why they believe it, not the belief itself.
They believe it because they think that they could pull themselves through depression without needing medication. That is simply not the case, depression is not a state of mind it's an illness that gets very misunderstood.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 16/02/2019 22:58

depression is not a state of mind it's an illness that gets very misunderstood

Absolutely

I think what doesn't help is the overuse of the word depression, when people just mean they are a bit sad or pissed off

twattymctwatterson · 16/02/2019 23:00

Frankly if I developed diabetes I wouldn't bother with insulin or anything like that. I just don't believe in it Hmm

MollysLips · 16/02/2019 23:13

I'm not on them now, but I was for a year or so.

When I was on them, I didn't tell everyone; I only told people that I knew were also on them. I think I felt less likely to be judged.

So half the population might be on them, but they're only opening up about it to each other? Therefore, if you're not in them, you don't know that other people are.

Maybe.

twattymctwatterson · 16/02/2019 23:18

My mum was an "I'll never take pills" person. She struggled to understand my own recurring depression, didn't realise why I couldn't just pull myself together. She went through a terrible divorce and raised two kids with nothing and always made the best of things.

At the beginning of last year she was newly married, had a great social life, no money worries... she had a breakdown and committed suicide in April.

I'm on them now. I have periods of not needing them but I know I'll likely be on and off them forever and I'm totally ok with that. They don't make me feel numb, they do have unpleasant side effects for a couple of weeks then they go away. I've never had an issue coming off them either.

Btw I've also had CBT and a course of Psychotherapy. I exercise regularly and meditate daily. I'm not mentally weak either. I'm fucking strong in fact. I've come through some terrible stuff and outwardly you'd never know I'm depressed. I have lots of friends, my DD is well cared for and I'm good at my job.

It's just insulting and completely ignorant for people to say they'll never take a drug that could save their lives because they think that taking it is some kind of character flaw. And no, you don't know the strengths and weaknesses of your own mental health enough to say you'll never need them.

twattymctwatterson · 16/02/2019 23:18

Sorry that was a novel.

Mirime · 16/02/2019 23:26

I've taken them in the past and I'm currently on betablockers for anxiety. Don't think the majority of people I know (outside of work, I work in mental health) take them, but who knows? They might just not talk about it.

WineCheeseSleep · 16/02/2019 23:26

twattymctwatterson Wow, that's a shocking story, so sorry for your loss Flowers

Good for you for doing what you need to do to manage your depression, you sound really on the ball with it.

CherryPavlova · 16/02/2019 23:28

No never taken them and know very few women who have. I have no intention of doing so and would prefer non pharmacological management, if ever necessary.
My mother in law does and has for as long as I can remember. She doesn’t think she has depression anymore but believes ‘they’ would stop the prescription if they thought she didn’t need it.

WanderingTrolley1 · 16/02/2019 23:30

I think more people than we realise, but they don’t want to broadcast it.

twattymctwatterson · 16/02/2019 23:36

Thanks WineCheese I'd be lying if I said we've not had a horrible year but I'm hoping this one will be better

ILoveMarmiteToo · 16/02/2019 23:43

I have not taken them myself but lots of friends have (male and female) and I would have no hestitation in taking them if needed. I don’t see any difference between these and medication for a physical problem (apart from the fact that the latter is more obvious to Others).

Alondonleerie · 16/02/2019 23:50

When I had my first DC, it turned out I was the only one of our baby group (of about ten) who wasn't on them. I would have found life much easier with them, but couldn't take them.
I think it depends on age/stage of life as to whether it comes up in conversation or not. I'm sure not all those women are still on them, but obviously have been at some stage. My family too - the only person who hasn't is unable to due to other medication and interactions with that. So in my experience, out of all the ppl I've spoken with about it, the vast majority have been on antidepressants at some point.
If I wasn't so reluctant to talk about it with my doctor, I think I'd be on them now, too.

happymummy12345 · 16/02/2019 23:51

I've never taken them, but I know people who have, both men and women.
I wouldn't say most women do though

corythatwas · 16/02/2019 23:58

I probably should be on them the crap life I’ve had at times, but I’d never take them.
I’d rather cry into my pillow, go into the bathroom and splash water over my face and carry on with a smile.

Well, I'd never let those doctors at the fracture clinic put my leg in a plaster cast: when I have a sore leg I'd rather rub it and carry on with a smile.

(may of course be because I've never broken a leg but heigh-ho)

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 16/02/2019 23:58

I know a couple of people who definitely are/have taken them at some point and I wouldn't be surprised if a few more are unbeknownst to me. I'm on them myself ATM for anxiety, because as PPs have pointed out, you don't have outwardly be a gibbering wreck to need them!

I and the people I know who have taken them have generally happy, successful lives - in my case, only my v. immediate family knew that I'd started having unexplained panic attacks and felt unreasonably anxious. Being on them has stopped this and it's onward and upward, personally and professionally.

Why wouldn't I take something that could do this? I exercise and have good relationships, but sometimes that isn't enough to combat an illness. I dread to think where I'd be if I hadn't gone to the doctor's and taken advantage of the available help (CBT and medication).

Camomila · 16/02/2019 23:59

I've only known 1 woman in my group of friends take antidepressants and that was for 1 year of university. But then other people might have and not talk about it?

My DM tried them but hated them...relies on yoga mainly and occasional weak (over the counter) anti-anxiety stuff.

I've tried the over the counter anti-anxiety stuff but only for specific situations like plane rides and the dentist!

myhamsteratefreddiestarr · 17/02/2019 00:06

I took them after my XH walked out with no warning. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, was shaking all the time. I was in a terrible state.

The doctor was wonderful and she said if you have a headache you take a pill, this is no different. She kept me on them until I was through the first 12 months and divorced.

They made me feel “normal” and able to function and look after my then 4yo DC andto be able to work.

I would never ever judge anyone for taking them.

Several of my friends , both male and female, have taken them for various reasons, ill health, death, divorce.

I wouldn’t say that most women are on them though.

Darkestnight · 17/02/2019 00:10

Nope I don't take them either.

Aus84 · 17/02/2019 00:19

No I don't take them. My SIL does, she tried to stop once when she fell pregnant and that was just awful for her so she's back on them now. As far as I know no one else in my family or friendship group do but to be honest- it's possible they just don't talk about it.

YouBoggleMyMind · 17/02/2019 00:20

I have taken them (just weaned off them) and know others, a mix of male and female who have taken/are taking them for various reasons. They helped me get through the trauma of almost losing my 3 week old baby. I also had counselling along side it which also helped but I finished the counselling before I finished the ADs. I did have one friend say to me "don't let them give you happy pills" so I never told her so there is defo stigma surrounding ADs still.

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