to think my parents are the most technically-useless out there?

[SileneOliveira]

My parents are mid-70s. Both had professional careers where they didn't have to use computers before they retired 15 or so years ago. (Primary teaching and dentistry). They are totally and utterly incompetent with anything technological.

I had a phone call at 11.59pm last night from Dad's mobile. (An old Motorola brick). Nobody spoke when I answered. So the obvious conclusion is that something is terribly wrong. Called back on the landline, a very grumpy Mum answered. She had no idea what was going on and why had I got her out of her bed? Fuck me, if you can't even "drive" a basic Motorola flip phone you've got problems and why are you tawtting about with it at midnight anyway?

They also think I'm being incredibly unreasonable in asking them to take their mobile when I collect them from the airport. As the airport has no free drop-off zone I've asked them to call me when they're physically walking out of hte airport so I can scoot into the 10 minutes for £2 zone and get them. This is apparently unreasonable as I can phone the airport and find out when the plane landed and make a guess as to how long it will take them to clear passport control and get their luggage. (If it wasn't a late night flight I'd be telling them to get the bus).

I have never sent or received a text from my parents. The would think Siri was a new Lebanese restaurant.

When I read about people's parents facetiming them, or a family WhatsApp group my face is like this . It's so very alien to me.

Anyome else got parents like this???

I'm shocked that your mother was so incompetent/unwilling to use computers up to 15 years ago, as they have been part of primary education since the mid 1980s and that means there was up to twenty years of her career where she actively resisted gaining the skills needed to educate children properly.

A dentist is almost understandable, as there are 'staff' to do such things (although the hospitals I've worked in would not have tolerated any medical staff so unable or unwilling to even operate a mobile phone or computer from around 1998 onwards - they might have been slightly less forceful about it for one in his 80s even though one of the PAs using computers daily was in her 80s, but in his 50s? No chance - he'd had been told to sort it or leave).

If they're so determined to not have these things, then they get the consequences. Such as having to get a taxi home from the airport (assuming they are able to find one without a mobile).

My 70-something parents spend their days trolling politicians and their supporters on Twitter. hmm I would be quite grateful for a bit of technological uselessness!
This made me laugh.

My parents are in their 70s and can use their ancient computer, printer and phones. But they rarely use them. I know the only reason I am able to use the technology I do, is because I use it regularly.

YANBU Thanks fully mine (in their 80s) aren't like this.

My mum is awful. She doesn't have a mobile, has never had an email address. Drives me mad.

I don't think it's an age thing- there are plenty of people in their 70s who can use technology- it's about a willingness to learn, rather than actual ability. My inlays are a similar age to my parents and they use iPads, have a computer, we Skype them, they have a mobile phone which they can use, they order things from amazon etc.

Paul Merton does not have a mobile phone or computer.

I get it OP. My parents are pretty good with technology, but my in-laws are dreadful. Like you say though, it’s nothing to do with capability - they’re both highly intelligent people with all their faculties intact. It’s an absolute refusal to learn. They say things like ‘We’ve seen the past and it worked just fine then’ or ‘I can’t understand why we can’t just all use telephone boxes.’ They blame technology for all of modern society’s problems. They complain about interacting with their grandson (our nephew) by Skype - he lives a long way away from them and their son (my BiL) encourages to Skype once per week so they have some interaction with them. They claim it ‘scares’ their grandson and that my SIL and BIL should go and visit them more instead.

I don’t know if it’s arrogance or fear of failure or fear of change or a combination of the three but it’s extremely irritating, so I definitely understand your frustration!

I think it is an age thing. Because most people only learn new skills if it benefits them. As you get older, the reality is that new technology is less likely to benefit you. So my dad has arthritis in his hands so would struggle with an ipad. So he does not have one as its not worth the effort. He reads lots though, so struggling with his kindle is worth the effort.
Most companies that cater more for older people have paper catalogues and phone lines. So people don't need to change how they do things.
And at 57 I switch my mobile phone on and off. I can use it fine. But I really really struggle to hear on one, so I don't want people to phone me on it. I want them to phone me on my landline where I can actually hear people.

My parents would think they're quite tech savvy.

Df won't have WIFI because then people can come and hack your computers.
Although, of course, they do. I haven't told them. The password's stuck to the top of the modem. Dread to think what the engineer said when he fitted that "Of course Mr Jones, there won't be any WIFI "

Although my generally sceptical and intelligent dm spent a couple of years passing on any internet warning to me. Yes, we had every one from the car seat at the side of the road, through to business cards impregnated with a toxic drug including an X on the road meaning they're going to steal dogs (neither us nor them have dogs).
I spent those years sending her links to SNOPES and equivalent and saying in a roundabout way to use her brain...
I'm not sure what was more worrying, that she passed them on or it was my siblings who seemed to be passing them to her.

I have now got them to a stage where they don't click on anything in an email unless it is from someone they know, in which case I've suggested they forward it to me first. That was after they clicked on a link.
They do both have mobiles. Although df never puts his on as "no one ever calls me". Can't imagine why that is!

And I suspect a lot of older people will struggle to hear properly on mobile phones.

Most companies that cater more for older people have paper catalogues and phone lines

But won't in twenty years' time. Do you think that current 50 year olds are going to suddenly decide they want to use their parents' methods as they age?

I'm heading for 70 (where do the years go?) and use my mobile to WhatsApp and phone people as well as to play various games and apps. All the people my age that I know are the same. People who are ten years older are less likely to use their mobiles, though most have them. They've never felt the need.
I once arranged to meet my mum at a busy intersection in East London. I went by car, she by the underground. I told her she absolutely must take her mobile phone in case we missed each other. I rang her landline to make sure she charged it overnight. We met up without hitch which was just as well as she'd left her phone at home but had brought the TV remote😄

Reflectant My parents in their mid and late 70s will be dead in 20 years time. If they are not, technology will hopefully have advanced so that arthritic fingers are no longer a barrier to using them.
It does not matter about current 50 year olds. Presumably most of them can operate a tablet fine.

My Mother took a picture of herself sitting on the toilet (accidentally) and posted it to Facebook advertising site & tagged me in the process.

I really did lol at that.

My parents are late 60s/early 70s and are slow to learn but try their best to get to grips with tech. They can do e-mails and have had basic mobiles for ages (though Dad did go through a phase of texting me cryptic things like "call as soon as you get this," I'd dash out of work and ring back thinking something dreadful had happened and he'd say something like "Oh, we were just in PC World looking at printers and wondered what you thought of x.". Only just upgraded to smartphones and are slowly getting there, but they love the family Whatsapp group as they get spammed with more photos than my DSis and I ever remember to send by e-mail.

FiL is another matter. He is a very smart man, a retired physicist, and actually good with computers, uses Linux etc which is a mystery to me. But certain other aspects of tech like mobile phones and satnav are just completely alien to him. Like @SileneOliveira says, it's like he thinks it's beneath him. MiL has a basic mobile and mostly remembers to leave it on, but he won't even get that.

There was recently an occasion when they came separately to visit us, can't remember why. There were roadworks near our house and a very small diversion, but they'd come through that together a few days previously. MiL made it absolutely fine, but 1.5 hours after he was supposed to arrive there was still no word from FiL (who is NEVER late), we were all getting a bit worried, but had no way to contact him. Eventually we got a very grumpy phone call from him. He'd got lost in the diversion and ended up giving up and going home. If he'd had a smartphone he could have used the maps on it to find the way, likewise if he'd agreed to have satnav put on the car's inbuilt computer. We live on a new build estate so their old map book didn't show our street, but if he'd even had a basic mobile he could have called us to ask for directions. He refused to stop to ask anyone else for directions as he couldn't remember our exact address, but again if he'd had a phone he could have called us to check! He was doubly grumpy because MiL was with us, so he "couldn't have any dinner" at home. But he still refuses to believe that a phone could be beneficial in any way.

My Dad is the tech head in our family! But he's an engineer and tech has always been his thing. My Mom has always been behind the times with it, (I can remember having to set the video plus to record things for her when I was a child) but even she has a smart phone, on a few social media sites, books her own flight etc. Both are knocking 70.

The truth is current technology is crap for many older people unless you spend a lot of money.
My FIL in his late 80s could no longer manage an ordinary landline phone, so had one with enormous buttons on it. There is no way he could physically have managed an ordinary mobile phone.
Technology is largely aimed at younger people.

"I'm shocked that your mother was so incompetent/unwilling to use computers up to 15 years ago, as they have been part of primary education since the mid 1980s"

Ha ha. I was at primary school in the mid 80s. In the last class (standard 4, would be yr 6 now) we had 1 Micro BBC computer. That's all. No computers for children in any of the other classes.

And this, right here, is why all the people who proudly post that they are technophobes, are storing themselves up some major future problems.

How's their eyesight? That can be a serious impediment for some older people trying to use small phones.

DH got his mother a mobile when she was in her 80s - she called him on the landline (big phone with huge buttons) because she was having trouble trying to use it. It transpired she had mistaken the TV remote for it. Sounds funny but it really wasn't - she just couldn't see well enough for that not to be obvious to her.

She was perfectly competent to live alone at that point but just couldn't deal with a small new gadget.

I was at university in the mid 80s and there was 1 computer lab that was only for the use of students studying computing. We still handed in essays written in longhand.
So no I would not have expected primary teachers to be using them.

Errol Exactly. Ordinary technology is not built with the infirmities of age taken into account.

Omginee Technology has got easier and easier to use, I expect that to continue.

How about mum only using the first five channels on the TV as she could not scroll through them. We tried teaching her many times, even wrote instructions with pictures. Still not capable.

It’s not an age thing if my parents are anything to go by. Both 70, my mum has an iPhone and we text everyday, email stuff to each other, she shops online etc. My dad, who lives in the same house, doesn’t even know how to switch the computer on. God knows how he’d manage without my mum.

It’s funny in some ways, but working in a library I spend a huge amount of time helping older people with minimal IT skills do things like apply for bus passes and benefits. It’s absolutely painful watching them search the keyboard for the space bar. But quite often now there is no other option but to do these things online. A chap the other day was trying to set himself up an email account and asked me to think of a password for him .

I feel very sorry for the generation of older people who have not grown up with technology but have to use it or go without things they’re entitled to. I think things will be different in another generation’s time.

Your parents grew up when there were two television channels, neither of which broadcast all day, and were in black and white. There was no way of seeing a television programme apart from watching it at the time it was broadcast. making a telephone call involved picking up the receiver, dialling for the operator and asking for the number you wanted.

Yup, that was what I grew up with.