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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Wouod I be unreasonable to not buy next year?

9 replies

Mississippilessly · 15/02/2019 18:35

I am part of a large family. Most of my siblings had children years (and in some cases decades) before I had mine. I have bought Christmas presents for them every year, even when I was a student and had no money. We are talking more than 10 children.
I had a baby last year. Come Christmas I made sure to write down gifts and who bought what so we could write thank yous. There was nothing from my sister. Apparently she asked me what we wanted for him, I never got back to her so she just didnt bother. I don't remember this conversation but if she asked she certainly didnt ask a second time.
I have asked people for suggestions every year. If they dont get back to me i buy whatever i think. I actually much prefer not asking or knowing as it's nice to have a surprise.
Would I be unreasonable to not buy for her children next year? I haven't had a thank you or anything this year. I'm not trying to be childish, I get that present buying gets out of hand, I'd have just much rather her say 'I'm not buying for your son, dont worry if you dont want to buy for mine'.
She didnt get him anything at birth either (I didnt expect anything, just to be clear that there wasnt a 'maybe that counted as his xmas pressie').

OP posts:
00100001 · 15/02/2019 18:39

well, if we're being perfect, ... you don't give gifts to receive gifts.

however, we're all human.

how old is the child in question? would they be disappointed without a gift?

Mississippilessly · 15/02/2019 18:41

She has 3 children, they are old enough to know I didnt get them a gift.

OP posts:
MmaMakutsi · 15/02/2019 18:43

Have to hand it to you OP for getting in the earliest Christmas angst thread I have ever ever seen on here.
It's usually June or July before this starts!

Mississippilessly · 15/02/2019 18:44

Actually I was thinking I was late rather than early!!!

OP posts:
LL83 · 15/02/2019 18:55

I would continue to buy for her children as I love my nieces and nephews and would worry they would be hurt.

I would be hurt my sister hadn't bothered buying for my baby. Does she show she cares about your baby in other ways? Ask about him? Cuddle him? Visit?

Mississippilessly · 15/02/2019 19:05

She has visited once. We aren't close really.

OP posts:
HeyNannyNanny · 15/02/2019 19:30

How old is your baby though? He's not gonna care under the age of 2 or 3.
Bit shit but not awful.

CallMeWoman · 15/02/2019 19:37

Maybe it's time to phase this out. Clearly it's too much of a burden for your sister to reciprocate, and gift giving shouldn't be an obligation, it should be a loving act imo.

Mississippilessly · 15/02/2019 20:01

callmewoman that's my logic.

OP posts:
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