To wonder what people are thinking when they look at me...???!

[ButterflyOfFreedom]

I think this may be a confidence/ self esteem issue on my part but I just wondered what others thought when random strangers look at them??
So you're walking down the street and someone looks at you, no particular expression etc, just looks.
I get paranoid thinking I must look odd in some way, like they're (negatively) judging how I look, what I'm wearing, even my mannerisms/ the way I walk.
I know this is probably irrational, I don't think I'm odd (!) And I know people have to look somewhere and I guess it's normal to look at other people.
I just wonder what they're thinking and presume something negative.
Though then on other days when I'm being more positive about myself I think maybe theyre looking and thinking nice things like I am reasonably attractive!
Like I said, I think this is a self esteem thing for me but I'm not sure how to sort it out!
Sorry, I know this is a bit random!!!!

I don't have time to judge people I walk past in the street, tbh. And I'm terrible with faces of people I know, let alone people I see for the first and probably last time for 0.5 seconds.

Almost everyone is too wrapped up in themselves to form thoughts about you.

Don't worry - by the time you get to your late 50s/early 60s you will be completely invisible to everyone. Problem solved. On the plus side I now don't worry what I'm wearing/whether my hair is 'done'/if my handbag matches my shoes because I am invisible.

When I look at strangers in the street normally I’m thinking “god I wish I could look that good/effortless/cool. I wish I could wear such a fab coat/dress/shoes.” Or I’m thinking “blimey, that lipsticks lovely, am I brave enough to ask where she got it from/what brand?” And then not getting up the courage.
I did however, tell a girl I loved her top a few days ago. And an older lady that she looked beautiful.
I very rarely think negatively about people and the most you’d be likely to get it “it’s bloody freezing. How can she manage with a skirt smaller than her knickers?”

How many people do you look at whilst walking down the street?

When you’re thinking ‘god, I must remember to pay my council tax/laptop/sofa’ or ‘ i must call Mum/sister/friend, clean oven . Do you really think every stranger is focussing on you

You have a high opinion of yourself if you think anyone is taking any fucking notice of you, honestly love, you’re not that special. Nobody even sees you ffs, get a grip!

Can you bring to mind anyone you walked past yesterday? Anyone you saw on the bus/train/from the car window/at the gp/dentist etc etc? Generally glances are exchanged for a few seconds which isn’t really long enough to think of much. It’s good that you have looked at this from a self-esteem perspective though and maybe just keep reminding yourself that those you encounter throughout the day are mainly thinking about themselves.

If I do notice someone though it’s usually because I like something they’re wearing or are doing something that’s irritating (talking to the person on the till at the checkouts while I queue builds up behind them, or someone yelling loudly at their child etc). It’s not their appearance though that I’d notice, more their behaviour.

Sometimes it might appear that I’m looking at strangers when I walk down the street, but more often than not I’m just thinking and not focusing on them. I only really notice other people if they’re dressed particularly outlandishly or have pink hair or something. Sometimes if they’re wearing something I like I might give a second glance. Or an attractive man might stand out 😉

As pp have said, most people are too busy wrapped up in their own worlds to notice/think about those they pass. What do you think about when you pass people?

I have terrible eyesight and am a bit face blind, so I'm probably trying to work out whether I know you or not! 😂

NannyRed
"You have a high opinion of yourself if you think anyone is taking any fucking notice of you, honestly love, you’renotthat special.Nobody even sees youffs, get a grip!"

That's a nice thing to say to someone openly admitting they have (low) self esteem/ confidence issues...

Thanks to other posters who gave more helpful responses!

I do think it's true that if you are a person who spends time looking at other people, you will assume people are also doing the same when most people are just going about their daily business. My MIL notices and comments on other people's appearance/clothes etc constantly and it really gets on my nerves especially when it's to do with weight and she says stuff in front on my impressionable DD. She also therefore assumes everyone is bothered by her life too. I, on the other hand, am too busy trying to remember what I wanted from the shop or what's for tea that I don't really give a monkeys what other people are doing and I assume they don't really care what I'm doing either. Sometimes I do get a bit self conscious about my mannerisms in case I come across as a bit weird but it doesn't really cross my mind for long.

I wouldn't say I spend time looking at other people just that when I notice someone looking at me, I get paranoid thinking it's because of a negative reason.
I don't mean people are looking specifically at me as in I'm in no way boasting about any attention I get (which isn't that much I'm sure!), it's just me worrying what people think of me.
I guess I just get anxious about this and other things.
At the end of the day what a stranger thinks - if anything- of me doesn't matter.

Oh and I don't think people are bothered by my life etc. I know they're not. Like others have said, everyone is busy or on their phones or thinking of their own stuff. That's why I said it's a low self esteem issue for me. Hope I've made that clear...

Why would people care?

I'm not posting about if other people care, it's about me and my feelings.
I just wondered if anyone else felt like I do - ie. Insecure/ paranoid etc.

Sorry if I haven't made that clear (again....)

Do you look at people and consider these things? Probably not! Everyone is mainly interested in how they look or come across themselves. Even people interviewing you for a job, are thinking about how they come across.

Maybe I should rephrase my post!

I'm not asking what random strangers who look at me in the street think of me.
I'm asking what do you think when random strangers look at you in the street.
I think negative things. What do you think? Just wondered if I had a 'normal' reaction or not.

Does that make sense?

Thank you.

Your default position is to think negatively about yourself and ‘people looking at you’ is you looking for confirmation/ justification of your own negative thoughts.

I'm a real people watcher so I'm afraid I am one of these that looks at people rather than through them, I'm usually thinking what their name is, what their story is, sometimes I'm wondering where they got a lovely item of clothing from and wondering if I have the guts to ask..

I'm an extreme introvert, I watch people from afar because I can't interact a lot with people without it draining me.