AIBU to be annoyed that husband didn't get me a valentines gift

[RLSP0304]

First time I haven't received a gift from my husband. I thought it was a joke initially, particularly as it's first Valentine's since having our baby. The customary box of chocolates would have been absolutely fine, easily procured on either journey to and from work or when he bought a card in his lunch break. Birth wasn't great and our baby can be exhausting. I am feeling somewhat frustrated that he didn't bother. He actively recounted discussions he had with friends that he didn't need to take me out as I don't like to leave our new baby with anyone else.

I didn’t even get a card from my DH. I gave him one as I always do but he didn’t acknowledge the day at all.

I’m not overly bothered, but it does sting a little that he couldn’t be bothered to organise a card.

The point is you're hurt by it so you need to tell him. Otherwise he'll have no idea what he's done wrong so won't be able to apologise, correct it and avoid doing it again. It's not unreasonable to feel hurt over it so let him know so it doesn't happen again.

@EthelFechan because it shows that for one moment someone actually thought of you. They stopped during their day and gave a tiny bit of consideration about making you happy. It is not the chocolates it is about being remembered

That's an awfully low bar to set. Same with Mother's Day where women want fuss and presents as acknowledgement.

My DH and I dont get each other gifts just because a certain day makes other people do it. If we feel we need to buy someone something nice we don't need to give it on valentines day all it is, is a money making scheme and stupid people fall for it every year. Same as Christmas, doesnt have the same meaning than what it did when I was a child its all about the presents.

I'd be really hurt if DP had done this, especially as it's the first valentine's Day since having your baby.

I'd talk to him and explain you feel hurt by the complete lack of effort on his part

Didn't he feel bad when you handed over your present and he was just stood there like a numpty empty handed?!

I don't need a box of chocolates or a fat to make me feel loved, but when every year you're normally given something it sets an expectation.

I took your advice, and just mentioned it to him. He seemed generally put out. He forgot he normally gets something - confused it with anniversary, which he always forgets and again because I'm used to him forgetting the same principle applies and it doesn't offend me - and tried to make amends by suggesting going out tonight but I've declined. I was just a bit surprised but as you know a new baby is stressful and it's fair enough to forget.

Or a fat = or a day eye roll

I think a card is the minimum IMHO. It cost so little but its a recognition that you at least care for someone.

At least you told him how you felt and he tried to make it up to you. It's not about the presents I know exactly what you mean. I would remind him two days before ANY significant day in future, then you won't have to be upset about it. He probably feels bad he forgot. Sometimes "life" just takes over but next time you could mention it's your anniversary/Valentine's Day coming real soon and make a plan together even if it's just getting in a take away and watching a film but at least you won't be wondering if he'll remember etc....