To not just be grateful for what I have which is good and feel this way?

[Nofilter]

Hi,

I posted this recently and didn't get a response just one person so wanted to try here to see if anybody is experiencing the same thing with moving a parent into their home...

"Hi,

Hoping for some advice.

I'm a lone parent to a lovely DD (2) and we recently moved to my dream property - an equestrian small holding in a rural village and I love it here and the lifestyle we now have.

However, as part of the move my Mum moved in with us. She's lovely and amazing with DD a really positive influence and her being here means we are all happy. Instead of me being a bit lonely in a monotonous cycle of me and DD in a house there's atmosphere; dinners each night, laughter, all our animals (Horses, Dog, Mums Cats, Rabbits).. I can ride whenever I want, I'm a much much happier person and therefore influences me as a Mum.

BUT I haven't quite figured out how to feel like it's my house - Which it is...

I'm struggling a bit with feeling low in self esteem over my position as DDs Mum. We don't really communicate on who does what although Mum generally takes care of the house while I manage the business and everything beyond the front door so the land and horses...

I often feel lazy even though I never get a moment to myself - I'm either with DD, mucking out/doing horses or working on the business which supports us all financially - I completely manage and pay for all financial elements of all of our lives and am really happy to - as DD gets to only be with me or my DM. Great!

I just feel like I'm holding back a bit for some reason. The minute my DM goes away I have a spring in my step and run the household and DD and feel "in charge." Then she's back and I kind of spend more time in my room and don't feel that same happy balanced Mum...

It's like I regress to being a teenager in my DMs house even though I've grafted decades to earn this farm!

Someone did suggest making a "contract" of whom does what but honestly I think if we tried something like that with our really busy lives, things changing day by day (vet visits, land jobs needing doing like fallen trees and pipes leaking, it's unrealistic - we just get stuck in right now come what may and muddle through and it works.)

But I can't shake this feeling...

Anybody experienced the same thing?

TIA xx

It sounds like you and your mum have a partnership already. She runs the home and you run the business.

You work in a business you love, you love where you live and the lifestyle you all share......

So, my advice would be to count your blessings and accept nothing is perfect in life.

My situation isn't particularly similar, but I do completely understand. I've got my own house but work in the family home (family business) and I've noticed after the past couple of years that it's more that I'm not taked seriously as an adult. It's not so much myself that "reverts back" to a teenager, it's that my family don't see me as an adult, I think. I don't have any advice, I'm trying to change things bit by bit but didn't want you to feel alone in this, it's very confusing! x

Thanks for your responses I do appreciate them.

I've had a chat with her about it and think we just need to constantly communicate...

Ohmmmmm!!