To want another baby soon!

[Ihavealwaysknown]

DC1 is 8 months old, I had a bit of a challenging pregnancy with her culminating in an EMCS at 34 weeks, and a 2 week NICU stay.

We have always said we would want children close in age but DH is worried about what if it happens again... the consultant didn’t seem to think I would be at a considerably higher risk of premature birth (DC was iugr along with reduced movements).

I’m currently back at work part time, with a view to returning full time next month. Just wondering if it would be unreasonable to start thinking about number 2? How long have others left it and how have you felt about that decision?

It depends on your circumstances, can you emotionally and financially support another child? If so then go for it. Just bear in mind you’ll be sleepless for the next few years :)

Im 37 weeks preg and already thinking about baby no.2
I want all my kids before im 35ish I dont want to be an old mum lol.
Not unreasonable but it just depends wether you can support them all or not.

It is really really hard work having two close together.

my youngest is almost 4 months and despite saying this was the last one me and my partner have already been discussing possibly having our fourth - and final - baby 🙈 i think as long as you can afford it and have enough time for them then why not.

Definitely not unreasonable. My son was 8 months old when we started trying for my daughter! Our reason was the same, we wanted them close in age. The second factor was schooling, I wanted them a year apart at school and we had a time limit on that because of how schooling works in Aus. And thirdly, we wanted some stability back after the whirlwind that is babies and toddlers instead of dragging it out to two kids with a significant age difference. DS is now 4 1/2 and DD just turned 3. Best decision we made.

Obviously this was personal choice and I have nothing against doing the opposite. This was what worked for us and our long term plans.

DC is 6 months and me and DH just had this conversation. Also had traumatic complicated EMCS although at their due date but it's not been a factor for us as we always wanted another. The EMCS seemed to be a one off so hoping natural birth for the next but can't be guaranteed.

We are waiting 18 months though purely due to finances. If that wasn't a factor I would probably be pregnant already. We want them as close together as possible due to my age and wanting to get the sleepless nights out the way (don't want to get used to sleeping through and have to do it all over again!)

My advice is to look at your circumstances and make your own decision as everyone is different.

DS was born spontaneously at 31+6 and had a three week NICU stay. When being discharged I was warned repeatedly not to conceive within eighteen months, preferably two years as the risk of prematurity can go up.

My friend who had a preemie DC2 at 35 weeks is currently ten weeks pregnant with DC3 while DC2 is 6 months old and is under care of a high risk obstetrician because of this. If you're really keen, I'd read some of the studies and talk to another doctor just in case. In my friend's case, her DH is extremely concerned and anxious this pregnancy and they don't seem to be enjoying it because of the associated risks.

I wouldn’t stress about pregnancy and birth close together (frankly, that’s the easy bit!). But they get a lot more full on after 8 months and I would maybe give it some time to see how you cope with a toddler first.

Also if you plan to go back to work, could you afford two in childcare? Mine are 5 years apart (which was perfect for me, older one in school when dc2 was born). But even on a good salary it would have been quite a hit to pay a £1800-2000 nursery bill every month. If the alternative is staying home, I would also think about how you would feel about that long term. Being home with two is hard work, even when the older one is self sufficient. Knowing I had the option to eventually go back to work was the only thing that kept my sanity intact some days.

If you can afford it financially and emotionally then why not?? Everybody is different. I couldn't do it though :D 3 years and 3 months between my two and it was perfect, I got to sleep between having them for a bit and my oldest was old enough to be independent and helpful by the time the youngest came along.

My friends have two that are about 16 months apart, she loves it! Different people different strokes.

@sunshineandshowers21 - watch out, my friend and her husband decided to have their "fourth and final" baby and ended up with twins.

OP - personally I like the fact that my 2yo is reasonably self-sufficient before my next baby arrives. He doesn't need to sit there and cry, he can ask me for what he wants or go and get it - I would definitely struggle with trying to predict the wants and needs of 2 babies who couldn't communicate properly. But then, I didn't really "enjoy" the baby stage - I'm far more happy with toddlers.

I always think 8 or 9 months seems to be biologically the time mums start thinking about number 2. It certainly was for me.

I don’t see any reason to wait but I had a premature baby and a traumatic birth and it really effected me. I couldn’t even consider another baby for a year; it sounds like it’s not the same for you but do you think your husband has been quite effected by it and needs a bit of time to process it all? I might be totally wrong but just wondered if that’s his reluctance

I have 18 months between two of my children, it's the easiest gap going! I have a 2.8yr gap and that is super hard. I've also had sections and no problems recovering