to donate to her facebook fundraiser?

7 replies

radishingravish · 15/02/2019 00:25

One of my good friends has posted one of those facebook birthday fundraisers to her page. I have been friends with her for many years and have always bought her a small present for her birthday. Is the done thing to instead of getting her a present to just donate instead? I don't want to offend her by donating then also not getting her a present, and it doesn't say anywhere about 'I want donations instead of presents' - just that it is a birthday fundraiser. I didn't want to just ask her if I could avoid it as I wouldn't want her to feel pressured in to saying she wants the donation instead. And I cannot afford to do both.

I know I am probably really overthinking this, I am just not very up to date on facebook etiquette.

OP posts:

DaisyDreaming · 15/02/2019 00:27

If it was a good friend who hadn’t said donations instead of gifts I would get her a gift. Or a small gift and donation

Original poster

radishingravish · 15/02/2019 00:34

I am considering just getting her a gift and if she says anything I will just say I already had the gift.

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HeddaGarbled · 15/02/2019 00:37

If someone posts a birthday fundraiser it’s because they either genuinely (or want to give the appearance that they) would prefer people to give to the charity than to buy them a gift. You should take them at their word and just donate, no gift. If they didn’t really mean it, they’ll learn their lesson and not do it again next year.

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/02/2019 00:44

Ds1 (32, so not a child) set one up by accident last year, so I was happy to ignore it. A friend's dd set one up this year, and because I knew she had good reason, I contributed - I had no reason to buy her a present, I never have before but I will every year now.

For you, OP, since you usually buy her a "small gift", could you give £5 to her cause, and buy her a £5 gift?

IDoN0tCare · 15/02/2019 00:45

I didn’t read the birthday fundraiser properly and signed up to it, thinking it just meant they would donate a pound to my chosen charity. I was very ‘tired’ 🍷 I hadn’t realised that it would end up on my timeline and suddenly these notifications appeared that showed people donating. I was Is it possible she got a bit confused like me, or is she a bit more sensible.

Original poster

radishingravish · 15/02/2019 08:26

Thanks everyone :)

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Emeraldshamrock · 15/02/2019 08:32

I think people get sucked into those Birthday donations. I would scroll by.

Flip