Anyone else's ohs not bother for Valentine's Day?

[Crazypaintlady]

Ok people can call me a spoilt brat and whatever else.

Dh is crap at presents, I know this and don't expect much. I never get anything for Christmas or birthdays that I haven't asked for and that's fine.

We usually do get each other a cheap card for Valentine's Day, and sometimes some chocolate, I know deep down it's a load of rubbish but it's still nice to get a card.

Card, chocolate, cheapest flowers in the supermarket not necessarily all three, and I'm happy, I'm really easily pleased, you'd think after 12 years he'd know me.

Dh was really late home from work and I thought he must have went to get my card.

No, he came home empty handed, he even said that cards were too expensive in the shop. He then said he felt bad because I'd got him one, so has rushed out, came back with a card, with no envelope, and some random horrible ornament.

Yes I'm a big baby, but I'm hurt.

I think it's pretty awful that he doesn't bother for Xmas or your birthday. So I can see why you're upset about this, although Valentine's Day is rather ridiculous.

I think it's the culmination of him being a thoughtless twat.

My other half is the same bless him. Doesn't mean anything by it he says he's crap at sentiment, never knows what to put in a card and doesn't understand why people want 'clutter' every one in a while he pulls it out the bag though bless him. He tries.
Just don't think men really get it sometimes. They say I love you, what more do you want!
Still gotta love them. :)

My OH made me a card, cooked me a meal and has bought me some cute token gifts. In return he has a hormonal teary wreck (not even pregnant) no card and as he knows the usual pattern, he is waiting for the snappy hormones to aim fire at him.
I feel awful I didn't get him anything! I have no romance in me at all.
When I got the presents etc, I said 'and I haven't even shaved my legs, I am so sorry I'm shit'
He kissed me and said 'it's fine, you have always been shit at this stuff'
Made me feel so much better.
I did try once, I bought him a card once it said 'thanks for loving me, even when I am a bitch'
My point is, sometimes, with some people, the more effort they put in the more they get it wrong. Embrace your DH's crapness and find a way to laugh about it! Thank god my DP has.

My OH is the same. Won't bother unless I've asked very specifically and it's something he thinks I need. He is supposedly getting better but the romantic side of him is barely existent and if I complain he acts like nothing he does is good enough.
I do love him but even when he proposed he put the ring in my hoodie pocket and waited for me to find it at home in our messy bedroom. Didn't even ask me properly to marry him.
I've given up hoping he will be any better at it and I accept that he won't be like that. It also means I don't have to really try with him either.
Probably not the healthy way to look at it but if he doesn't try then why should I?
Had the proposal had a bit more thought I'd have also bought him a ring which I would have given to him via our next kitten or cat which I was going to get (the plan was to put my name forward for the specific breed of cat he's always wanted and wait for one to become available and attach the ring to the collar when I give the cat to him)
I won't be doing that now and I've started to do more things for myself where he doesn't.
It is a shame but it's quite enjoyable thinking of yourself and treating yourself for once!

Yep, I bought a card, his fave chocolates and some thoughtfully chosen presents I knew he wanted, gave him them this morning and got Jack shit, not even a happy Valentine's day and he knows what day it is obviously, he even asked me last week what I wanted and I said I didn't know, surprise me.... he did that alright!

I cheered myself up by buying 6 pairs of shoes today though, if he's not going to spoil me I'll do it my bloody self!!

He acts like nothing he does is good enough that sounds familiar. I had some story about how he went in the shop but the cards were too expensive and how it took him ages to find one but he couldn't.

I can beat the engagement ring in the pocket, I haven't even got an engagement ring! He would never in a million years proposed so instead we had the conversation, two months later we were married in the local registry office.

He's the sort of bloke who'd let the door slam in my face rather than hold it open for me.

We've been together over 30 years and have never fallen for the commercialism that is Valentine's Day. You don't need a special day to show your love, you can tell your partner you love them anytime. Don't feed card shops and buy cheesy gifts.

While DH and I don't do Valentine's Day, he is good at thoughtful presents for birthdays/Christmas, and he'd never let a door slam in my face. It sounds as if general disrespect is the issue, rather than today.
Have some non Valentine's day flowers and I hope tomorrow is better.

Mine gave me the cheapest,tackiest looking necklace he could find at a jewelry store and it looks like it came out of a gum ball machine-and he says he shopped and shopped for the purchase-it's mind boggling-he never asked me what I wanted but if he had he would've screwed that up-a few years ago I said I wanted an amethyst ring-I received amethyst earrings because "The store didn't have any rings" (They had plenty of damn rings but he wasn't going to spend extra) Nope he went in around four or five in the afternoon on Christmas Eve to a jewelry store and he panicked. Of course there were other stores in town but no couldn't be bothered.The earrings kept needing to be repaired as they were so impractically designed. OF COURSE it was MY responsibility to keep going back to get them repaired he couldn't be bothered.15 months ago he brought home a necklace that would have turned green within a few weeks and he claims to have spent quite a bit on it. The kicker was he presented my gift to me this am with "I really wish I could've bought you a 14k necklace but I couldn't justify the expense" No flowers but a Disney card with it. We had a 25th anniversary in 2017 as I was fighting breast cancer and I got zero gifts just a cheap chain restaurant meal with him looking angry and bitching about how expensive the drinks were. I ripped him a new one after-of course he just had to say "You have no idea what great plans I had for anniversary but of course I didn't think it was worth going into debt for as you aren't earning us any money"

We mutually agreed not to bother with Valentine’s Day this year because neither of us are that bothered and we’re a bit skint but if I’d wanted something DH would have got me acard and some chocolates.

I think it’s pretty shit if he knows you’d want something but can’t be bothered to put in the minimum amount of effort to pick something up from Tesco’s in his lunch break.

crazypaintlady, my xh was an asshole to me but used to get me a card etc.. I always swore if I was with somebody again, they didn't have to be romantic on one particular day of the year, I just wanted to be respected and valued as a given. Anything that's pulled out of a hat with a sigh, no thanks.

We didn’t buy each other a card but I am ill and he went and filled my hire car up with petrol so I don’t have to do it. That sort of action means more to me than a card and some chocolates one day a year.

‘He’s the sort of bloke that would let the door slam in my face rather than hold it open’

This is much more than a cheap chocolates on Valentine’s Day...

my dh has always been crap at present we dont bother with valentines waste of money and made up

but letting the door go in your face is a differne thing altogether

Mine didn't bother. I didn't bother. It's all absolute bollocks. I refuse to live my life thinking commercial crap like this would enhance my marriage. My valentine's day consisted of telling my 5 year old the tale of romeo and juliet and her relishing the horror of the tomb scene. Might attempt a bit of a married fumble in a bit