To nearly vomit at this info

[namechangerfortheeees]

I've just seen that a man I used to work with has been arrested after a snare set by paedophile hunters!

He made my life hell when I worked there and was the sole reason I left! When I first started working there he was overtly flirty and I used to laugh it off and get on ok with him. Then I got tiered if the creepy comments and "jokes" so didn't engage and then he hated me! Would always try get me into trouble and as soon as I sent an internal email he would print it off and keep them all in a locked drawer.

I just knew he was bad news! Aibu to which he got longer than 12m and to hope his time inside is HELL! (I know I'm not).

@alsonamechangedforthis Jesus Christ you story has me crying - and that takes a lot.

That is fucking awful and I'm so so sorry for you and your family. 1 year? Where is the justice?!

Does his family know where you live now?

he got less than a year inside
How terrible for you. Poor girl.

alsonamechangedforthis
What an horrific experience for you and your DC - but none of it is your fault.
I hope that you have settled in your new home, and are building a good life with your children.

@alsonamechangedforthis Sorry you, your children and his victim(s) have gone through this

I saw him a couple of years ago locally at a pub with a wacky attached (I was with DS) and called 101, they wouldn't do anything about it as I didn't have his real name

That sounds odd. Surely they'd have records of his known aliases?

I'd strongly recommend reading Sarah Langford's "In Your Defence". She's a practising barrister and it's about various criminal and family law cases she's dealt with. One relates to a boy who had been groomed as a child who is charged with having indecent images, and it's a very thought-provoking read.

@SaturdayNext The name he used at work was very, very generic - think John Smith. I described him as well as I could, told what limited info I had on his arrest (we were told the bare basics as we worked closest with him and there was possibly misuse of office equipment), but nothing they could do. Part of me wishes I had publicly called him out in front of everyone.

I do have sympathy for people who have been brought up with it and it's part of their norm, it explains it but doesn't excuse it. Cannot speak for everyone but plenty of people are abused (myself included) and know that it's not right and don't inflict it onto the next generation. It's an even sadder set of circumstances when it's an insidious cycle of abuse.

(Have obviously namechanged for this)

It is awful to discover you know someone who is capable of this.
My elderly neighbour, who we were friendly with, was sentenced last year to 8 years, for historical abuse and rape charges against young girls spanning a 30 year period.
I am a parent to two disabled and vulnerable young girls. When I think of the opportunity he had and the access he could have had to them, I feel utterly ill. I'm confident he never actually had that opportunity to do that, but having to sit my young children down and explain to them what abuse and rape is so I can ask if he'd ever done anything similar to them... it's not something you forget easily.
His wife still lives there, and has stood by him (It also came out he previously did time for 'offences against a minor' and was on the SOR, which she knew about), and I've not been able to even look at her since.

The Sarah Langford story isn't about seeking sympathy for the paedophile she represented - at the end she's effectively saying the young man in question came over as sympathetic but recognising that the judge who sentenced him would have seen some of the truly horrible things that paedophiles do and/or facilitate, so it's not at all clear-cut.

I understand, like I said before it's not black and white. I would hate to be a part of the judicial system for reasons like this. Whatever sympathy I have for these 'people' lies with those who were victims themselves and that boundary development/sense of right and wrong is so heavily damaged. I despair for the children they were, not the abusers they become.

SexOffenderNeighbour
When I was 16 my grandmothers boyfriend clamped his arms around me bear hug style and drew me very close. My arms were by my side and I couldn’t escape or lift my knee to hurt him. He then forcibly kissed me. I was writhing and it took 3 attempts to make contact with my lips. I went truly ballistic, which shocked him and threw him out of her flat - he didn’t live there.

I think this was all planned. He knew I would be there alone and what time my grandma would be back. He took advantage of my vulnerability as my father had recently died. He opened a conversation about my dads death and decided to abuse me under the guise of sympathising with me.

Looking back I’m sure this man was a seasoned pedophile. He was 84 and I was lucky to be feisty and older. He backed away from me telling me it should be “our secret”.... repeated several times.

My mother should have informed the police but she was more interested in protecting my grandmother from finding out so just called him and he denied the whole thing. Shame on her.

I was lucky to be older. And lucky he was very old, unlikely to be able to perform sexually. I was also lucky he was shocked by my use of language as I repeatedly screamed fuck off to him and to get out.

I can’t believe how strong he was even at that age and very relieved when he died a couple of years later.

pumpa
I’ve read it’s a brain wiring issue. Wiring obviously doesn’t mean they will offend though.

@Mummyoflittledragon for some people I believe it is, same with psychopaths, some go on to do terrible things because of how they're wired, some go on to live normal lives. Nature V nurture and all that, and some people are sadistic perverts who go from one extreme to another. There was the documentary last year about the wives and one of the men snowballed from watching normal porn and it no longer being enough But then when does it stop? I don't think even men who were not naturally 'inclined' to that stuff but find themselves at that point can revert though, once that tenancy is there it's there forever.

Sorry for a bit of a derail, OP.

*Tendency, not tenancy

No it's true through. I have a friend who's boyfriend uses coke regularly and he admitted now he can't go out without it. For him it would be like going to a wine bar and not being able to have a drink. Every weekend would be pretty shit.

I recently found out that a man that i used to work with went to prison for sexually abusing a young girl. He was the usual 'family friend' and had known her since she was about 7-8, bless her.

What a complete c@**.

When a colleague told me, I actually thought he was joking. A sick bloody joke, but i still thought he was winding me up.

My DP best friend got 13 years for rape of 11 year old DSD / grade A porn, horrific pleaded not guilty and was out in 7 on good behaviour

Friends here struggling to get work
He got full time warehouse job like that! Out of nowhere, company yodel wasn’t advertising at all.