AIBU To Say What Was The Point of Me Living a Healthy Life

[ZaraW]

It's nearly ten years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I was doing OK with the odd scare along the way which turned out to be nothing. In that time I've cut out junk food have it very occasionally along with the odd glass of wine, exercise and generally lead a pretty dull life.

Yesterday I got genetic test results (I'm not in the UK and was never offered testing until it was suggested by a doctor). I have a rare mutation which told me there was 100% chance I would get cancer by the time I'm 70. And now I find out there are at least seven cancers I'm susceptible to. I'm asking myself what's the point of living a healthy lifestyle when I had no control over the disease?!

But cancer is not the only illness in existence, and you may have avoided heart disease, tt diabetes, joint problems, all kinds of things. And also just been generally a lot healthier even with the cancer than you would have been.

There is always a 'point' to trying to live healthily. You sound angry about the genetic results - maybe some counselling might help you come to terms with it? It's understandably a shock.

I'm so sorry you're going through this op. I have nothing useful to add really. Just wanted to say I feel for you. My mum passed away 5 years ago. She deteriorated extremely quickly after being diagnosed with melanoma, the most aggressive form of skin cancer. It developed just in and around her back passage and she was in agony for months. It was too advanced to operate or treat in any way. She lived her entire life healthily. For context we don't drink for religious reasons. She never ate junk food. She is of the generation that cooked evevrything from scratch. It's one of those things and doesn't feel fair.

Sending you hugs and strength.

I would be pleased i know and plan to do everything i wanted to by the time i was 70. You can live life to the full knowing what the future has in store. Albeit a potentially unpleasant one

I guess the healthiness might slow down progression to some extent? So it might mean that you can be treated more easily and successfully?
I can understand why you would be pretty pissed off though... I guess the question would be what makes YOU feel good. If exercise and healthy eating makes you happier and feel better then that is enough. If it means that you can have the best life possible within a shorter time frame than you hoped?
I am sorry. I can totally get why it would make you angry at the world and the situation. It is not fair

If your genes are against you then living that healthy life is why you've been as healthy as you have so far.
If it wasn't cancer it would be something else, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, immune conditions, mental health, allergies, diabetes, heart disease. We don't all know what to be scared of and it must be very scary to be faced with it, but ultimately most people have a scary future. You are now as best equipped as you can be.

The problem is you’re equating junk food with being happy. You say life is dull exercising and eating healthily, but there’s more to life than eating crap. Even with health problems, by eating good food, you’re giving your body fuel and the nutrients it needs to be strong.
As a PP said, you’re also potentially avoiding further health problems caused by lifestyle choices. Exercise is good for mental health and keeps your body strong.
Try and find other ways to make your life more exciting, aside from eating and drinking wine. Take up hobbies, plan a holiday, go for walks, meet up with friends or family, volunteer your time. Enjoy your life.

I understand why you are feeling so down op as these results must be very hard to take in, but in a way there is almost more reason to live healthily. The majority of cancer treatments are getting better all the time but you need to be fit to survive them/get the best outcome from them. Having said that, I hope the doctor offering tests is also providing support with regard to their implications and long term affects.

Unfortunately a healthy lifestyle is no guarantee of a long life. That's why I don't bother! I'm not hugely unhealthy but I do enjoy wine, takeaways sometimes, and I don't go to the gym. I personally know around 10 people who have died in their 50's and 60's. Literally just one of them was a smoker and a drinker (and a heavy one at that). None of the rest smoked. Around 4 of them were what I would call very healthy, never drank, got loads of exercise, ate very healthily. The rest more average, no bad habits but not super healthy either. At the end of it all, it's a lottery. Nothing more.

I understand what you mean but day to day you will be feeling better physically than someone who drank a lot or was very overweight.

I bet you look and feel way better than you would if you sat around eating Pringles, though? And who's to say lifestyle doesn't play into the underlying genetic weakness? You may have gained an extra 10 years of life (with shiny hair, good skin and a well toned body to enjoy it with).

But knowing that you are more susceptible means you are more likely to find it earlier from regular scans. Being healthy means you will be stronger to deal with chemotherapy. Also it might not be a death sentence, the treatments might be successful. Also being obese means you are more likely to get maybe a different cancer. You could also get heart failure or liver failure or diabetes by being unhealthy...
I'm trying to get you to think of this in a different way, not to lessen the stress of your diagnosis.

Floral sorry to hear about your mum. Life isn't fair.

Thanks everyone I don't know if I'm angry I'm still trying to process everything. Having been told it was very unlikely my cancer was genetic and to be told the opposite is WTF?! I generally do enjoy life and travel a lot, enjoy exercise and spend time with friends.

I was due to move back to the UK in the next couple of months and preparing for my new life. After raising my DC it was my time. Now it's on hold. I've just arranged a weekend away with some friends wine and good food will be consumed after that I'll get back on track again. Seeing my oncologist next week hopefully he can provide me with some reassurance.

I had a friend like this. She led the most healthy lifestyle out of any of us: eating, sport, smoking, work-life balance, drinking ... she had it all in perfect moderation. And then she got breast cancer and had to have a double mastectomy in her 40s.

The plus side was that she was fit enough to take the chemo and other medication and it didn't affect her as much as it could have done, and she made a much faster recovery (not from the cancer itself, which depends on so many other factors, but from the debilitating treatment) and has gone on to live a happy and fulfilled life. Yes, she found out that she was genetically predisposed to breast cancer, but she was happy that her lifestyle made her much better equipped to deal with it than she might otherwise have been.

Now she goes sailing round the world and loves life.

A predisposition to cancer sucks, . But it's still worthwhile leading a healthy lifestyle.

I have been seriously ill twice. Both times I've been told by my consultant that if I hadn't of been so healthy, I would have died.

My Mum was amazingly 'strong' body wise. She was a smoker, but in every other way was exceptionally healthy, still working in an active job in her 70's. She got lung cancer. She lived well with it, right up until the end. She died ay 84, still smoking.

Her consultant said they see that a lot, in some cases a healthy lifestyle doesn't prevent cancer, but it does really make a difference to the outcome.

I've gone on HRT and I was pre diabetic, there's a massive history of heart disease in my family, so I'm doing what I can to counteract all that.

You need to change your thinking re living well. I have a two year plan to go on a holiday. I'm exercising with that in mind, it gives me a goal to work to. That and maintaining my health, which means strength and mobility.

Cancer survival rates are improving all the time, so cancers which were untreatable thirty years ago, are now survivable.

As others have said, your healthy lifestyle will improve your health overall, and will reduce your chances of illness a lot. It may also delay the 100% cancer, or prevent it totally.

Is there a lot of cancer in your family. If not, your risks are also probably reduced.

You don’t say how old you are now, but hope&illy you will have many years left in you.

However, I discovered it nearly seven years ago. It’s always there in the background, casting a shadow.

I'm so sorry. My MiL was much the same - extremely health conscious, but cancer still got her. It doesn't feel fair, and FiL sometimes says so.

It's totally fine and normal and fair to feel pissed off about this - but remember also that loving a healthy lifestyle still helps to fend off other illnesses and also makes you feel good in yourself. And having this knowledge may mean that any cancer you do develop can be caught early and hopefully treated successfully. You don't have to be all Pollyanna-ish about this of course, because it is undoubtedly shit - but it hasn't been for nothing.

I am a great advocate of finding the right counsellor for you: being able to speak fully about your feelings, without the kind of self-editing we all do with our loved ones to avoid hurting or worrying them is a powerful thing. It may be worth considering, if you think it would help you.

I am sorry you have been thrown this curve ball having been told that it was unlikely your cancer was genetic.

They are learning more and more about genes all the time and there is research into whether genes can be switched off and that there are scenarios where there are changes to DNA:

By living a healthy life, you are giving yourself the best possible chance.

hugs. xx

Being healthy gives you the best possible chance of survival and less chance of the cancer getting a hold in the first place.

I did wonder this after both my ILs died of untreatable and unusual cancers at 70, having lived clean and blameless lives with plenty of fresh air and no alcohol, except the odd sherry (the bottle in the cupboard was one we had given them 10 years earlier - perhaps they kept it too long )

If you have good mobility and healthy organs and immune system, as much as you are able, it helps you deal with the shit life throws at you.

I agree with what a poster upthread said - work towards a holiday you have to keep your brain happy too and somewhere sunny is good for your health too.

I know how you feel and as PP's have said - life just isn't fair.

My late husband did all the right things - exercise, diet - low fat, low sugar, low salt - and for what? He died at 56 of motor neurone disease. There's nothing fair about that.

My dad smoked like a chimney and didn't believe it did him any harm, he died at 94 but a very rare cancer got him in the end.

MIL took little exercise, cooked from scratch most days until her sight went and then relied on ready meals. She died of old age with two types of dementia which made her life a burden to her for the last two or three years.

Despite the above, surely a healthy diet etc helps you to remain reasonably well until illness occurs? Sorry you've had this bad news. We can only do the best we can.

A friend of mine has a rare type of cancer. It's incurable. She's defying the odds right now for how long she will live. And that is living healthily, at home with her family. Doing the school run, going to work etc. She's 4 yrs in to a max 5 yr life expectancy and doing so well.

Her doctors have put this down to having a healthy lifestyle pre diagnosis and continuing that. She's vegetarian, exercises to remain slim with decent muscle tone. She takes care of her emotional well being and has been amazing in her approach to continue to care for her children long after she's gone.

Your healthy lifestyle helps to protect you. Just because you are susceptible and genetically guaranteed to get cancer, does t mean your DNA gets to decide when. How you will respond to treatment, how well you can live through it and if you can recover. Keep doing what you feel is right for you.

There's a lot of cancer in my family on both sides the second is Alzheimers. I've learnt to love eating healthy but it's taken a long time. I'm 47 so still quite young..... Thanks everyone for your support.

She takes care of her emotional well being

I think this is more key than people realise. A healthy body is one thing, but a healthy mind can be even more important. Stress can be a killer, literally. I've read a couple of articles recently that link loneliness to premature death. Emotional well being is so important.

I agree about emotional well being I do a lot of yoga and some meditation. I can control stress through breathing exercises.

Who on earth told you your cancer was unlikely to be genetic? I hope it wasn't your oncologist.

Cancer at ~37(?) and with many relatives affected, I'd tell you you were likely to have a genetic high risk.

Still, and even if there's a high risk with some mutations, a healthy lifestyle is likely to reduce the likeliness of developing a more environmentally based condition.

All in all, I'd say you should live the healthiest lifestyle that makes you happy. Don't sacrifice too much.