Confused and hurt by husband

[lunaland]

My husband has been openly saying that he wants a baby for a few years now and that when I’m ready we can start trying. He hasn’t been pressuring just being very open about it.
So I’ve now reached a point where I am now ready to start trying. I thought he would be delighted and that it would be wonderful for both of us to share this.
However he has been totally avoidant of the subject since I said that I was ready and he keeps saying he’s too tired for sex and not even talking about kids. He won’t talk about why with me and I am thoroughly confused and very hurt.
What have I done wrong and what can I do? We are usually such an open couple, he is my best friend and we tell each other everything

It sounds like it was a cool idea but now it real it's scaring the shit out of him...try asking him what he's scared of?

I’d just ask him if he’s changed his mind .

I think that when you say you'll start trying it can make sex seem really different. There is a bit more pressure to perform especially for the man and it does turn it from an abstract idea into an 'oh shit this might really happen' reality.

There isn't much you can do other than pick a time where you're both chilled out at the weekend and say that you're normally so close that you feel hurt he won't discuss it. I'd say you've noticed he doesn't want sex and he doesn't want to talk about kids any more so it seems like he's changed his mind, and that's fine if he has, but as it concerns plans for both of you you would really like him to open up and talk about it, even though something is making it difficult for him to do that.

If he won't, you will have to take a step back and either decide to live with it or have some space. I would be worried if he wouldnt speak to you about major life decisions. It's OK to change your mind or be scared of the future. It's not OK to take decisions like this yourself when you're meant to be part of a couple and refuse to discuss it with your partner

Totally understand your DH’s point of view! I was desperate to start TTC, but when my DH finally agreed I got massive cold feet! It suddenly seemed very real.

Don’t worry too much OP, just give him a bit of time and I’m sure he’ll come back around.

Thank you for your replies. I think you’re right that he may just need time to come round to the fact his dream could become a reality.