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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think school should tell me that they are testing DS school year for Chlamydia?

67 replies

cathykate · 13/02/2019 20:13

DS has just come come and told me that his year is getting tested for chlamydia, most have it already done but his class is the last and going to have it after half term. WTF??
his is the first I have heard of this? no email or letter from the school..and because of this I am really annoyed.
While I agree that awareness of STD's should be promoted by schools, I can't believe they can go ahead and test body fluids without parental consent?? ( year 11 which is 15 and 16 year olds)
I have no problem with the test but with them NOT letting us know it was happening. We have to sign consent forms for the school left right and centre, but this is something I would have actually wanted to have been asked about and GIVEN my consent for?
AIBU

OP posts:
allthegoodusernameshavegone · 13/02/2019 20:45

I think it’s to protect the 15 year old, I would not be happy at 15 or 16 for this decision to be my parents rather than mine and likewise a person of that age has the right to keep the results of the test private.
Once parents get involved many will opt out of testing and the std remains undetected.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/02/2019 20:47

A 15 year old doesn't need parental permission to get tested for STI's under the law. They don't need your consent, just your child's.

Canshopwillshop · 13/02/2019 20:48

Interested in the replies saying no parental consent is required. My 14 year old is about to have some booster vaccinations and the school has asked for permission to give them. No permission means no vaccine. I think in this case I would like to know that the school was carrying out the test but perhaps not requiring permission for it.

Bluerussian · 13/02/2019 20:48

Presumably your son has a choice whether or not to be tested for chlamydia,

Poor kids, everyone nowadays assumes they need testing for STIs but I'm sure most don't.. Still the test is available if it's wanted.

Contraceptionismyfriend · 13/02/2019 20:49

As far as I'm aware @Canshopwillshop you could say no but your daughter could approach the school saying she wants the vaccine and her wants would supersede yours.
She would be able to access the vaccine without your consent.

Bombardier25966 · 13/02/2019 20:50

@Canshopwillshop What difference would knowing about the test make?

OhDiddums · 13/02/2019 20:52

I agree you should be consulted but at that age teens can go and get themselves checked at a sexual health clinic. Which they can do without parental consent.

Canshopwillshop · 13/02/2019 20:56

@contraceptionismyfriend - why would the school bother with the forms asking for consent then?

@Bombardier25966 - just so I could be prepared if she wanted to talk about it, ask questions, was worried etc.

Aridane · 13/02/2019 21:02

Surely the parents should at least be told of the initiative?

Contraceptionismyfriend · 13/02/2019 21:06

I believe to cover their arse.
But I have seen posts of parents unhappy because their child got the vaccine against their wishes.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 13/02/2019 21:07

@contraceptionismyfriend - why would the school bother with the forms asking for consent then?

I would assume it’s easier than assessing each child’s competency to decide, particularly when it’s not a subject that would be sensitive to the vast majority of parents.

anniehm · 13/02/2019 21:09

A good idea - my DD's last two schools had drop in contraception clinics too. Better to be safe. No one is forced but a lot of kids are sexually active around 15/16 so best they have easy access

choirmumoftwo · 13/02/2019 21:09

Just asked my DD (now 17) if she'd been tested in school. Apparently it was offered in year 11 and she declined as it wasn't relevant to her. She didn't mention it at the time and I honestly can't say I'm bothered. I think it's really important that young people can access such tests without parental consent or even knowledge.

adaline · 13/02/2019 21:09

Clamydia testing in schools without parental consent

Why not? 15 year olds don't need parental consent for medical procedures.

SapphireSeptember · 13/02/2019 21:10

I know you DS is 15, but surely the 16 year olds who are deemed old enough to consent to sex should be able to consent to a chlamydia test without needing parental permission? (Even though they don't need it anyway if the doctor thinks they capable of consenting.)

Bombardier25966 · 13/02/2019 21:10

@Canshopwillshop You should be prepared without a prompt from rhe school.

WildFlower2019 · 13/02/2019 21:12

Pretty sure they offered this or did this at my school back in the early 2000s

SileneOliveira · 13/02/2019 21:12

In Scotland over the age of 12 the doctor does not let u in room with ur child unless child says I want u there

This is quite clearly barely literate bollocks. I have two children over the age of 12 in Scotland. I have been to both GP and hospital appointments in the last year with them. Never has a doctor asked the child if they want the parent there. Of course I've said to my child in advance "Do you want me to come in or would you prefer to go in on your own?".

But let's not allow that to get in the way of an OMG, ur child ur rulez hun rant.

Graphista · 13/02/2019 21:16

The elephant in the room is that such programmes not only need to be operated privately in order to encourage kids to get tested & treated - for some kids if their parents know about this, particularly if they have chosen to be tested, it could actually be dangerous for them.

I still remember a girl at school with an unplanned pregnancy who asked the school to help her tell her parents - she had good reason to do this and actually it was deemed necessary for her safety for her to be removed from her family home, basically cos her dad lost his shit!

So PLEASE discourage your son from telling you or ANYONE else which other kids have been tested, and IF he does anyway DON'T go telling anyone yourself!

"In Scotland over the age of 12 the doctor does not let u in room with ur child unless child says I want u there so I don't think they need ur permission as they of legal age to go to docs on own" I don't think there's an official age, but yes they're encouraged to manage their own appointments once they're high school age and are asked if they want parent in there if they might need to ask eg a girl with stomach pains if she might be pregnant.

I always said to dd I'm happy to leave if she asks but she was happy to have me in with her until she was about 15/16 at which point it was daft me even going with her unless she asked me too (I'm a bit more confident bolshy so if it was something she was banging head against brick wall with Drs about she'd ask me to go with her), as she was able to deal with most things herself.

She manages her sexual health well I think, still talks honestly with me about it, even though I don't specifically ask. She knows I'm here to discuss any time she needs to. But if she didn't I'm confident she's sensible & responsible and has been for a few years now (she's 18 now).

Maryann1975 · 13/02/2019 21:17

I think the other way of looking at this is that it shows teenagers just how easy it is to be tested for an sti. And if you don’t do that at school, when you have a more ‘captive audience’ the chance is lost and they will continue to believe that it is difficult/painful/whatever to be tested. Testing them at school will show them how easy and quick the test is and hopefully will encourage them to be tested again at regular intervals if necessary (ie when they are sexually active/before new partners/whatever the advice says nowadays).
I really can not get worked up that a 15 year old is being tested for an sti without parental consent. I assume your dc has the right to decline the test? I wasn’t sexually active at 15, but I know some of the girls in my year group definitely were. Surely it is better to protect their health and have your dc opt out, rather than have those who are carrying the sti pass it on to more unsuspecting partners (one of whom could, in the future, be your ds-don’t forget that).

AhhhHereItGoes · 13/02/2019 21:18

I think to state that they are covering STDs and some tests are available if the pupils would like them is reasonable info to give the parents.

But specific permission/details for that pupil? No. They are old enough to decide for themselves.

Uptheapplesandpears · 13/02/2019 21:20

Yabvu. If your child is Gillick competent you've no right to know.

Bluelonerose · 13/02/2019 21:20

I think it's a great idea.
Not only will it show teens how simple the test is to do but then there is already somebody there who they can go and see about any result issues.

Plus even back in my day going to the family planning clinic was always busy school would of been the easiest place to get it done.

Canshopwillshop · 13/02/2019 21:21

@bombadier25966 - thanks for that.