To wonder what acquaintances earn...?

[coffeeforone]

I'm thinking neighbours, people I get chatting to at baby groups etc. Sometimes curiosity, but sometimes it would help a conversation flow (e.g. in the case of childcare/nursery fees, 30 hour eligibility £100k limit and the point where it's not worth working as childcare is more than take home pay, say approx 30k). The problem is that I have absolutely no idea whereabouts the person I'm talking to falls in this range, so falter on asking about or relating to their situation.
AIBU to wonder or should
I stop being nosy?

What? I don’t understand. Other than to be nosy, why do you want to know what this other person earns?

I was told many years ago to never tell anyone who I vote for, or how much I earn.

For some reason it's stuck with me, and not only would I never dream of asking anyone but if somebody was to ask me, I'd find it extremely rude.

It's nobody's business.

I have friends who earn more than me, and some less. Purely based on the jobs they do. And some have received massive inheritances. Doesn't mean I think any more/less of them and it's never been an issue.

Not sure why you'd want to know tbh, except to be nosey?

Talking about salaries seems pretty vulgar to me. I personally couldn’t care less how much others earn unless it impacts me directly 🤷🏼‍♀️

I never discuss what I earn or ask others because I have always been told it is rude. However that doesn't mean I wouldn't love to know, just for pure nosiness.

YANBU to be nosy. I find it really intriguing myself, as I’ve earned as little as £8k per year and as much as I’m on now (which personally I feel is a lot but by MN standards it’s almost certainly nothing 😂) so I’m kinda curious as to where other people are on the scale and more importantly how they got there, if that makes sense?

But obviously YABU to ask! Though I do wish we had less of a culture of feeling we had to hide our salaries. It can make it much easier to underpay people at work for discriminatory reasons when coworkers feel it’s somehow ‘improper’ to disclose what they’re earning.

In my friendship group we’re all pretty open about it though. We think nothing of asking what a new job each other has pays for example.

My friends live in a house worth a zillion pounds (!) Bought many years ago for very few. Her neighbours were very confused when they found out that they are not bankers, lawyers, doctors like everyone else on the street.
Doesn't matter what others earn. Never compare yourself. It will make you miserable!

Did anyone who's replied so far actually read the OP?

They've explained why it'd sometimes be useful to know (roughly) someone's income - because it relates to the conversation and they could then tailor their input to the conversation to what's relevant to the other person/ not wanting to say something the other person could take offence to. I get it. I think it's no different to generally trying to make conversation with someone we don't know very well, where some basic info about them allows you to try and make conversation that's actually of interest to them.

It's definitely better you're the kind of person who's aware that different people have different levels of income and tries to take that into account, rather than be the kind of person who is not mindful that different people have different financial situations.

You'd be unreasonable to ask them of course. You're not unreasonable to wonder.