To think that bullying is still rife in workplaces?

[Gladtobemyself]

I’ve had a horrifying experience in an organisation I used to work for. This individual who was our boss, managed to alienate absolutely everyone in the office, not only her own department. Screaming her head off, putting popeple down, cutting people off during conversation, threatening emails, and the list is too long, that we had 80% staff turnover in one particular year. HR ended up spending way too much of their time recruiting for our department.

I was one of the very few people from the old team left in the department and after another excruciating months I became mentally and physically unwell, which meant I had no choice but to take the matter to HR (I had been with the company for over 6 years by then). I ended up leaving with a nice package and went travelling for several months. However the experience has left me shaken for a long time.

Besides this dysfunctional individual, and perhaps one other, the company was brilliant. Lots of perks for employees, trainings provided and state of the art offices.

I was talking recently to someone that described a similar situation in their office. AIBU to think that this behaviour is still rife in workplaces?

A lot is low level bullying i find. Not inviting certain members of staff to company events then acting baffled as to why those people would want to attend. Calling meetings about projects but leaving people out even if it falls into their remit.
There is always the office clique and they are always the ones promoted.

I had a terrible boss for about 4 years. It was incredibly stressful. Eventually she found something to pin on me, but rather than go through the disciplinary, (which I might have lost as she was very intelligent and sly)I left with a £30k payout. I am still annoyed the company would rather pay me off than deal with her.

Charities are the worst for workplace bullying I have found. They think they are a law unto themselves and can do what they like. Take them to tribunal and get told any money you may get is from the donations members have given. They are also the worst for wasting money got from membership fees and donations.

@havingtochangeusernameagain same here, and I was annoyed that they preferred to pay me rather than dealing with her, but to be honest I was glad to leave

I was bullied in work from the age of 18- 24 by the same individual. I loved my job but it ended up unbearable for me because of this one horrible person. She took an instant dislike to me and made my life hell for years. At the time I was timid and let her say whatever she wanted and I wouldn't say anything back.
At least once a day I'd end up crying in the toilets. I never said anything and it eventually tailed off when she moved on to a younger newer member of staff.
She was suspended after that but unfortunately returned. I left shortly after and I'm just thankful I don't have to face her again. She was well and truly vile.

Yes, absolutely. I was treated horrendously by a senior manager in my last job- I’ve always been a high performer, worked so hard for them. I stuck it out for a year but had to leave for my own sanity. She’s now started on one of my friends. I’m totally confident that the directors know what she’s like- they just choose to cover it up.

I should add that this has affected me massively. I left 6 months ago and I remain medicated for anxiety. I’ve got no confidence in my own abilities any more and have been diagnosed with social anxiety.

This thread is really sad.

A second one with these experiences in academia. This supposedly 'enlightened' sector is a hotbed of bullying, sexism, abuse and gender inequality. I have been on the receiving end of sexual harrassment and stalking by a male colleague, as well as bullying and verbal abuse. And it's the same story with colleagues in universities up and down the country who tend to interact with others in the same subjet discipline.

In my university currently, the management of one particular subject group are suffering en-masse megalomania and undergoing a campaign of micromanagement and verbal abuse of staff on a mass scale. At least I have the comfort of knowing it isn't personal.

Academic teaching isn't like school-teaching. It's specialist, you'll be lucky if 3 jobs a year come up in your field, and if they do, they might well be at the other end of the country (or globe). Changing jobs isn't a simple exercise, and those who take on middle management roles for the power of flexing their muscle are well aware of this. It gives them more power and they know it.

My only consolation is I've seen many management teams in my institution come and go, and they tend to go because anarchy has erupted in one form or another. It's very foolish and short-sighted of these people, because they'll never get cooperation this way. People will close ranks together and stop communicating with them. And if they continue antagonizing and alienating a department full of people in this way, something will have to give, and generally that something is the management structure.

My approach is to keep as far as possible under the radar and to choose my battles with care.

I left a major company after 2 years because of a bullying manager. One of my colleagues from my dept even took her to task over it.

Manager had form. Many staff before me had left because of her. Everyone complained about her. I know she had been in front of HR before with warnings.

I kept notes and spoke to the union who wanted me to take it further. Luckily just after this, I found a better job 5 mins from where I live and absolutely love it.

At my exit interview I gave HR all of my notes. I wished I’d have had the guts to take it further.

Another Manager who I am still in contact with has said it’s like she has had a brain transplant and is super nice to everyone now, so I reckon she was given an ultimatum.

Strangely on my last day, she gave me a hug and whispered into my ear that she understood my reasons for leaving .

Yes unfortunately I think some seem to view work as an extension of school. However there are definitely still more kind people in the world than nasty.

I've worked in three offices in my life and in all three I have experienced work place bullying.

I work from home now and there's a few people I have contact with who aren't great but not part of my daily life or even directly involved with what I do. I'm so much happier for it.

Bullying of staff in schools is rife. Correct that many teachers have effectively never left school and retain a very childish outlook on life. There was so much petty behaviour, backbiting, snitching, are-kissing and whining. I am glad I don't teach any more; I came into it from another industry and I was disappointed. I gather that other places are similar; my NHS working friends say similar and so do my social worker friends.

Yep

I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we can't choose our colleagues, and in the vast majority of cases you wouldn't choose any of your colleagues as your friends. You have to spend time/work with some people who you may very well avoid if you met them in real life, and some people simply aren't very nice and can't help themselves, especially when they're in position of power and decide they don't like you/your views/insert other petty reason- and so we get workplace bullying. It wouldn't happen if everyone could acknowledge that the only reason we're all there is to get paid, but sadly many people can't leave it at the door.

@PatchworkElmer really sad to hear that :(. I found that taking a break and not jumping into another job straight away and also going travelling was a massive healer. But I am aware that’s not possible for everyone.

I was also prescribed anxiety medication, but after taking it for about a week, I had decided to stop it. I knew that once I’m away from the toxic environment I’ll feel better and medication can be tricky. I know people who found it really hard to come off it and it eventually makes you feel worse. There are free therapies available on NHS, CBT, NPL etc. They helped a lot of people. And just talking about it helps.

Going through something like that can be very isolating but as you can see on this thread you are definitely NOT alone.

Look at the recent horrors from Amnesty International. Amnesty of all places :(

Its rife still in schools - and I mean the teaching staff. .

You are totally right PlainSpeakingStraightTalking Was horrified starting teaching as a second career. The way the management carry on. Totally ridiculous. What do they expect to get out of staff acting like power crazed despots . It wouldn’t wash in industry and school heads are given a lot of power without nearly enough oversight. And it is abused to keep their own jobs.

Psychologist I had to see after leaving teaching said narcissistic bosses are becoming the norm. Sees a lot of broken people.

Worked with a group of girls in their early twenties (I’m late twenties) I was hired to be their team leader because the manager decided to tell them none of them were good enough to be promoted - they were horrible! Got to the point no one could even say good morning to me because they just wanted to show our manager that they wouldn’t accept just anyone as their team leader. I told them all to get fucked and left (pathetic victory I know)

I took over a team where there was bullying among colleagues. It was hell trying to deal with it.
It's hard to get people to put in a grievance and then hard to prove it if they do. The bullies made sure that no one witnessed it. Our HR team were useless to support the member of staff who had reported it and me and my boss trying to tackle it. I believed 100% it was all true.
I actually left in the end because it was stressful for me too and I knew that a very capable manager before me had tried to deal with it and failed. Awful place with an awful atmosphere.
You have my sympathies if it's happening to you. It's rife in many workplaces and now I don't manage people because I don't want the stress.
for everyone this has happened to

Charities are the worst for workplace bullying I have found. They think they are a law unto themselves and can do what they like.

They're pretty bad for other aspects too. In previous jobs I used to do accounting/auditing for charities, and it was an absolute nightmare - so many "untouchables" getting away with all kinds of things because they were "needed". It was the first decision I made when I started my own accountancy practice to not touch charities with a bargepole.

Bullying of staff in schools is rife. Correct that many teachers have effectively never left school and retain a very childish outlook on life.

Which is probably why they're so poor at dealing with bullying among their pupils.

Which is probably why they're so poor at dealing with bullying among their pupils..

From my own children’s schools and from my time in Ed would agree but also think that when a school has a bullying problem it’s coming from the top and will be going on amongst staff.

I work in a small company and my colleague has form for trying to grab work that was never hers and then try to convince the boss that I am in the wrong.
When I pull her up on it, she denies all knowledge, plays the innocent victim and then slags me off to her mother who calls every day in their native language. She knows I understand some of their language but not to what extent. I've been keeping a diary and will use it at the right moment.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking

Actually some teachers, whilst doing a very difficult job with a lot of pressure, really never have worked in the real world

What I find funny about this is how people are posting about, all the issues that are in school yet school isn't the "real world", and that posters are "bitching" about teachers sighting the stereotypes that bullies in work have used for years.

What I find funny about this is how people are posting about, all the issues that are in school yet school isn't the "real world"

An educational environment from cradle to grave - nursery, primary, juniors, secondary,, uni, school is not the same as interacting with all walks of life on an equal basis side by side eg stacking shelves,; it creates a very narrow view of life.

some teachers have this ridiculous assumption that parents work the same very select hours and can be available for appointments at 8.25, and again at 3pm, on the button.|

Having spent 10 of my middle aged years in this environment, some of my teaching colleagues really shouldn't have been allowed out unaccompanied let alone let loose with 150 children a week ! they were spiteful, vicious, patronising and felt it their duty to harass and belittle vulnerable pupils, which of course if this thread is anything to go by, prepared them well to be down trodden in the work place. And it's always covered up by the HT because they cannot take the risk that the reputation of the school will be damaged and their might be a drop in intake. We wont even go into the rumour, gossip and childishness in the staff room.

4 schools I worked in, temped in a further 3 - all the same.