To find this rude

[Littleteacup1]

Had a day of Tuesday asked if my friend would like to meet up with her daughter I don’t have a child but suggested soft play or going for a coffee at the local park. She replied saying she may be working the afternoon but would let me know. The night before she sent me a photo and I asked about meeting the next day. she said she was waiting for a reply from ex person to see if she was covering her shift. I’ve had no reply at all since she’s been active all day and posted online one of the pics I commented on. I’ve did my own thing all of Tuesday but a text to say sorry I can’t would of been nice.

It wasnt a firm arrangement, it was left hanging, not something I could get worked up about. You did your own thing, you werent waiting for her.

No but it’s anyoying not to let Someone know what her plans were all it would of taken would of been a simple text. I did get offered to get lunch with a friend to but as I was already thinking I may be busy I said that I couldn’t.

She might have thought she replied that she couldn't. My DD does it all the time. She has two children.

If you are good friends, I'd say forgetful rather than rude.

Unless there have been other incidents.

Its happened before were she has said let’s meet tomorrow but not given a time until say 10.30 the same day.

You either have to accept she's flakey and arrange/compromise things accordingly or not accept it and let the friendship die out.

I did get offered to get lunch with a friend to but as I was already thinking I may be busy I said that I couldn’t.

She’s a flake. In future, if you offer a plan, your diary is open to other firm invites until she confirms with you that you’re meeting up. You absolutely should have taken your other friend up on the offer of lunch when you didn’t have a confirmed plan with the first friend so you can’t be annoyed at her for missing out on that.

It’s very simple: you have free time, ask to see someone, until you have a confirmed plan you’re open to other offers, if she wants to see you she’ll make sure after a few occasions of getting back to you last minute only to find out you’re now busy that she gets it in the diary.

But frankly it doesn’t sound as if she’s that fussed about seeing you anyway. Is it pretty much equal both suggesting you meet up or are you doing all of the running?

She was rude, yes. But if it’s who she is you just need to decide whether it’s worth dealing with it to have her in your life and to start setting your own boundaries. For example if a friend left me hanging with a ‘maybe’ and they hadn’t confirmed with me by the morning of the plan I would assume it was not going ahead and proceed otherwise. To leave someone hanging until the last minute shows that either you’re not that arsed about seeing them, or that you don’t value or respect their time (we all have busy lives and have to work to fit things in!)

Its happened before were she has said let’s meet tomorrow but not given a time until say 10.30 the same day.

She thinks that your life is so empty or your time is so unimportant she can basically dictate the terms of meeting to you rather than respecting you enough to find a mutually agreeable time. I wouldn’t be keen on spending time with someone like that tbh.

You know all of those old ‘rules’ or pieces of advice about dating, how a guy who wants to see you will make sure he sees you and ask for a date in advance so as not to risk missing out on seeing you? A lot of that applies to friendships too. This woman’s actions (you say it’s more than once) say a lot about her. You should focus more energy and effort into the friend who invited you for lunch instead and this friendship will either fizzle out without you bending over backwards or she’ll smarten up a bit if she wants to be a part of your life.