Creepy Waiter

[RestingRhubard]

During a long road trip I stopped off with my 4yo daughter for dinner at a family run rest stop type café/restaurant we’ve been to many times before. My daughter is almost 5 and a very gregarious child who talks to everyone she meets. She also is very tall for her age so could easily be mistaken for 6 or 7 and as a result adults often expect quite a lot from her conversationally and behaviourally.

She’d been chatting away to a man on his own who was waiting for his takeaway and he while being very nice to her and polite was clearly a bit uncomfortable and kept addressing me instead of her and almost looking to me for reassurance that it was ok to talk to her. I think he handled it really well and I was more than happy for them to be talking.
A bit later we were sitting at our table and I noticed one of the waiters kept looking over and smiling at her, to begin with I was proud as she’d clearly made a bit of an impression on a few of the staff as it was quiet and she’d been pretty funny.
When he brought the food over though he didn’t acknowledge me at all and said directly to her “do you know you are really beautiful?” She was looking at a game she was playing on my phone at the time and didn’t look up or respond and so he said it again. I got her attention and said “the man is talking to you” he said it again and she just stared at him so I made her say thank you.
I was uncomfortable for a few reasons:
I didn’t like his tone or the look on his face, I’ve seen it before in my 35 years on this planet as a woman
It’s one thing to compliment a child on their behaviour or something but I found his word choice “beautiful” inappropriate
I made her acknowledge him and thank him for a compliment that made me uncomfortable

Later on he came back and brought her a slice of cake I hadn’t ordered for free and (again not acknowledging me at all) told her it’s their secret and not to tell mum.

I feel like I witnessed the first time my daughter was noticed by a creep.

AIBU or is it impossible for a man in his 50s to talk to a little girl anymore?

Also did I let her down by making her thank him when I thought he was being a creep?
I’m a single mum but my her father who has an active role in her life thinks I should complain to the restaurant.

Would you complain if it was TGI Fridays? My DC get told they are handsome all the time in there. And always get a piece of free cake. Once one of the waiters put a balloon animal hat on their heads and touched them.

I tell my teenagers that it’s fine to be ‘rude’ rather than being polite if you feel uncomfortable.
For example if they are asked to go somewhere with a person they don’t feel good with they can just say no thanks even if it may look like they are coming across as unfriendly. I guess it’s never to young to teach them this message.

Basically any time your gut tells you something is off or creepy, you should trust yourself.

None of us were there, but the fact that you were creeped out is enough for me to say he was a creep.

It's hard how to respond sometimes.
An acquaintance (male) went on about how pretty my DD8 was. He has a DD a year younger. It made me uncomfortable that he noticed but I just said thank you.
It was the same occasion I let her wear some new hot pants style shorts and crop top. Grossly, she got a lot of looks from adult men. I never realised she'd get looks from men who, the majority I assume, aren't paedophiles.
It made me incredibly uncomfortable and, sadly, I've discouraged her from wearing this outfit outside of the home, even though I believe children and adults should be free to wear what they want.

I could never make my daughter say thank you for receiving a compliment on her looks. I'm usually massively over the top polite, but I don't think that's appropriate at all.

@KindnessCrusader how about when she's 24 and someone says "hey, that's a great handbag", would she just have to gaze off into the middle distance? Great hair? Ignoring compliments is a tricky (and pig ignorant) route to stick to.
I can understand ignoring the lecherous and leery, but you're specifying compliments on looks per se?

In response to “don’t tell mum”, I’ve had this before with strangers and giving my DD sweets, money etc and every time I hear it I’ll say loudly...

“oh but we tell each other everything don’t we DD? We never ever keep any secrets”

I like to think that would be enough to make someone with alterior motives back off a bit, they rely on secrecy from the child to get away with things

He complimented her and gave her free cake! All in plain sight of you. There's nothing creepy about that, he was just being nice!

I'm more concerned about interaction with man no 1 than man no 2