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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Children and petrol stations

74 replies

cashmerebat · 12/02/2019 22:28

What do you all do with your D.C. at petrol stations??

Was out with a friend today with her D.C. who are 3 and 2. Both fast asleep in car seats in the back of her car.

We pull into the petrol station, I ask friend to get me cigarettes while she is paying for her fuel. She runs in to pay for her fuel and her card declines so comes back out to get me to pay on my car and goes to the cash machine to check her balance.

I go in the shop to buy cigarettes on her signal that she has the petrol money. I knew the cashier so stood talking to her for a few minutes and friend was with me.

Woman comes into the shopping flapping about “how dangerous we are behaving by leaving sleeping children on a petrol forecourt” Hmm

Batshit right?

OP posts:
TrixieFranklin · 12/02/2019 23:21

@fusioluxe lock the car, take the keys with me. My keys are needed to open the petrol cap anyway so wouldn't be in the car.

blackcat86 · 12/02/2019 23:30

I specifically find a pay at pump or go when DD isn't there. There is no way I would be lugging her in to pay but I also wouldn't leave her unattended in the car. Last weekend a car hit another at our local petrol station (no pay at pump) because someone went in to pay and didn't put the hand break on.

RichSheffield · 13/02/2019 00:01

I always leave mine in the car as not only is this easier but it's much safer as quite a few people have already stated!

The children can't get out as the child locks are on, so there's no escaping and wondering about the forecourt!

In the situations regards cars not applying handbrakes/crashing - this would never cause any injury to anyone inside the car, surely the risk of injury is increased as you're walking around the forecourt!

The risks either way are tiny when compared to the risk of injury when you're driving them about the place so it's not worth worrying about, just do what works best for you.

helacells · 13/02/2019 00:16

Pay at the pump. Don't think I've ever paid inside

TitsAndTomatoes · 13/02/2019 00:30

I leave DD in the car.
I use 2 petrol stations. One has pay at pump and the other doesnt.
I dont think id hang about for a few minutes though, unless it's due to a massive queue. Most ive done is got a costa express machine coffee while DDs been in the car. Takes about 40 seconds.

turncloak · 13/02/2019 00:35

I always take DD(3) in with me if I can't pay at the pump. I know it's silly really, but it's ny choice to make. I've heard one too many car-being-stolen-with-child-inside stories to bring myself to leave her in the car.

LotsToThinkOf · 13/02/2019 00:48

I’ve always left DS1 in the car, then DS2, it was always when the car was in view at all times and I knew they weren’t likely to get out and try to follow me. Now they’re a bit older they sometimes want to come with me, which I allow providing they hold my hand. Before when they were flighty toddlers it was more dangerous to take them, I still think it is dangerous to take them but they feel unsafe in the car without me so I don’t really have a choice.

It’s a tricky call to make, and it totally depends on the situation, I try not to take them at all but sometimes it’s unavoidable. Sometimes there are idiots flying about without looking at the fuel stations here and it’s hard to decide what to do.

When going to shops I usually take them with me, the only times I haven’t is when they’re awake and I’ve discussed it with them, usually when it’s raining or snowing. I bumped into a friend once when I was paying for parking in a town car park. She put the ticket in her window and came over, commented about me having my hands full as I wrestled with coats etc for the DC, I asked where her DS was and she gestured to the car telling me he was asleep. Then she walked off into town! She may have only thought she’d go to one shop and then back again but there was nothing stopping him from letting himself out of the car to look for her or knocking the handbrake off.

Unicornfeathers · 13/02/2019 01:13

Strangely enough this conversation came up with my 14 year old as he asked whether you could leave a toddler in the car whilst you did your ASDA shop for the week.... I said No and he asked if I ever left him in the car and I confessed to going in to pay for petrol... in my defence pay at pump wasn’t available then and he had no road sense at all... he tells me he’s not traumatised by the experience 😂

That all said I was never very comfortable doing it and if I had a baby / toddler now I would pay at pump every time because it’s an option now

Klopptimist · 13/02/2019 02:06

I would have thought it far safer to leave DC in a locked car, especially if they are bolters. YANBU.

littlebillie · 13/02/2019 02:21

Always leave in the car.

Huntawaymama · 13/02/2019 04:53

I always left dd1 in the car but after I gave birth last summer I developed bad anxiety and this was one of the irrational things I stressed about. I started taking them both in or filling up on my own. Our station has just started pay at pump and I'm so much happier

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 13/02/2019 04:58

How on earth is it dangerous? What could happen?

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 13/02/2019 05:16

Leave the children in car, and lock it if you're on your own.
But since there were 2 of you, there was no reason to leave the children unattended, so I kind of understand ranting woman

MsHopey · 13/02/2019 05:35

My DS stays in the car. I don't chat with anyone, I don't wander round the shop buying sweets.
I'm in and out.
DH says I should take DS in with me. I won't be.

AllStar14 · 13/02/2019 05:52

I have never seen anyone take their children in with them to pay. It's beyond paranoid, you can see the car at all times. I have DT2 and DD4, fuck dragging them all out of the car, with other vehicles constantly moving, for the 2 minutes it takes to pay, to then strap them all back in the car.

Dimsumlosesum · 13/02/2019 05:54

I leave them in the car. I wouldn't stand around chatting for a few minutes whilst they were by themselves.

MiGi777 · 13/02/2019 06:26

I always go to pay at the pump now. (Not everywhere has this option though). I used to leave them in the car but went to do this one time when my mum was with me and she hit the roof. Telling me it was illegal to leave children unsupervised and anything could happen and oh my god had I done that before?! I was 38 at the time and she told me off but I can see her point. I would take them in with me now but only because she went so mad with me,otherwise I'd probably still leave them in the car, I wouldn't stand about chatting in fairness though, I'd be in and out as quickly as possible and frantically checking out the window!

Impatienceismyvirtue · 13/02/2019 06:37

MN always seems to have a majority of “take them with you”.
If mine was sleeping I’d leave him but if he was awake I’d take him with me - mostly because if I leave him in the car awake and on his own he screams blue murder (18 months).

Impatienceismyvirtue · 13/02/2019 06:39

Actually I’ll put an edit on that - I only have one DC so actually if I had more than one they’d be left in the car whether asleep or awake. I feel that it’s too dangerous to take two+ kids out of car seats and across a petrol station forecourt when it was possible to leave them in the car and have them still in eyeline.

hamsterdance · 13/02/2019 06:44

There are no pay at pumps round my way and I've never seen anyone take their children in unless it's to use the toilet. I've always just locked the car and left them. It was so much easier when they were younger though. Now they are older I tend to come back to an argument that has kicked off in the 2 minutes it's taken me to pay.

yikesanotherbooboo · 13/02/2019 06:44

I would leave them in the car for the obvious safety reasons. One of mine used to get very anxious if left so I would try to avoid the scenario .

GookledyGobb · 13/02/2019 06:54

What I always wonder on these threads is for those leaving them in the car are you locking it?
I’ve got three and I leave the older ones in the car (5 and 2) but take the baby with me (she cries when I stop driving) in the car seat. I can lock and alarm my car with people inside so I do that so in theory nobody can drive off in my car. Somebody could drive into it but I figure they’re safer in their car seats with that risk than they are outside the car being herded into the shop and back with cars driving around

slcol · 13/02/2019 07:26

Always leave mine in the car, always have.

user1493413286 · 13/02/2019 07:34

The only reason I take DD2 in is that I l ow she’d scream and get herself in a state if I left her. If she would sit happily I’d leave her in the locked car as that’s far safer in my eyes than carrying her across the forecourt.
Unless someone has left the the car unlocked and keys in the car (obviously ridiculously stupid) then I don’t understand how cars can be stolen from petrol stations; it takes a bit of time to get into a car to then steal and surely you’re keeping an eye on your car from the window if your child is in there

m0therofdragons · 13/02/2019 07:39

It's dangerous to take dc across a petrol forecourt and under 16s aren't actually supposed to be outside of a car on the forecourt. I've never seen anyone take a dc in and only hear about it happening on mn.

Dc are visible in the car from the kiosk so it is a non problem invented by hysterical people.

We have pay at pump now but 7years ago when I had a toddler and newborn twins we didn't (West Country) so with dh working away I would have to do this. I cannot imagine getting out the double buggy, transferring babies, getting toddler out and taking the dc all in to pay. The queues that would have been building up faffing doing that Shock

I wouldn't have had a chat though.