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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don't want to go away for half term

36 replies

Home77 · 12/02/2019 15:34

It''s cold and we're all tired, i'm coming off anti-ds and feel rubbish. DH really wants to go away, for some reason he always seems to feel like this for the February half term. He's self employed and has been working a lot. I feel really guilty but just want to stay home and we can relax and maybe cook and chill out, maybe make it in turns with the children. AIBU and a selfish ungrateful person?

OP posts:
ClarabellaCTL · 12/02/2019 15:48

I don't think you're being ungrateful at all, I can see your reasons why you want to chill at home. Although I can see your DH's reasons for wanting to go away too. When you're self-employed it's hard to 'switch off' even when you are at home. Could you suggest maybe a few days away, and then a few days at home to chill before the kids go back to school?

Princessmushroom · 12/02/2019 15:49

Why can’t you do both? Do 3-4 days away and then chill at home?

GemmeFatale · 12/02/2019 15:50

Why not let him organise it all. You want to relax and chill out so do that wherever he books

GemmaXOX · 12/02/2019 15:55

Staycation!

We did this not long ago, it was lovely! No alarm clocks set, went the charity shop and brought about 10 films for 5 quid (can just Netflix it now I Suppose)

Went for some nice walks, played some games and so on......

Relaxes you more than you think. Grin

MrsJayy · 12/02/2019 16:01

Where does he want to go ? Can you not do a few days away then chill at home. Tell your husband how you feel but I can see his point December is hectic January is about 305 days long Grin he maybe just needs a change of scenery.

sonjadog · 12/02/2019 16:05

Do both. Spend the first part of the week at home and then head off for a long weekend somewhere.

Original poster
Home77 · 12/02/2019 16:36

It's a good plan just to go for some of the time. I have been left with researching it due to him being away with work and feeling a bit fed up with it all and guilty!

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 12/02/2019 16:39

I am sure he can do research he can be involved you are not his R &R woman and stop feeling guilty what are you feeling guilty about ?

Chamomileteaplease · 12/02/2019 16:43

If he wants to go away then surely it is fair enough that he does the researching! That's the shitty bit.

GreenEggsHamandChips · 12/02/2019 16:47

This feb or next?!?!

Id find the prospect of planning a holiday for a weeks time blooming stressful!!

Boredboredboredboredbored · 12/02/2019 16:49

Yanbu unless it's somewhere warm and relaxing with a pool?

My 2 dc are knackered and next week we plan lots of long lie ins (teenagers) then seeing how we feel in the afternoon.

Travis1 · 12/02/2019 16:49

Is it abroad or local? Could a cheap AI deal be an idea if abroad? Then once you're there it's just chilled and no need to think about thinks.

Agree though if he wants to go he should be organising.

DaphneFanshaw · 12/02/2019 16:54

It’s okay to want different things, you’re not always going to agree on everything. If you really don’t want to go you can stay at home and do fun things together, although the idea of going away for a few days and staying at home for the rest seems like a happy compromise.
I think If it’s his idea though he could research and see what you think after he has got a few ideas, I know he is away with work but he can still look.

MrsJayy · 12/02/2019 16:57

He can faff about on his phone/tablet im sure he isn't working all the time

Original poster
Home77 · 12/02/2019 17:06

I feel guilty that I am seen as 'being negative' that I want to stay home. We also have older children / teens...I think the idea for part the week is a good one, will have a browse online and we can share the choosing when he returns from work...so I'm not in charge if it all!

OP posts:
BlueMerchant · 12/02/2019 17:09

I'd probably have suggested having a few fun days out instead. I wouldn't be doing all the organising.Maybe plan something for the next holidays when you have more time and are feeling better.

hammeringinmyhead · 12/02/2019 17:12

I suggest going away for the first weekend then staying at home Monday/Tuesday onwards.

pictish · 12/02/2019 17:13

Who does all the listing, washing, packing, shopping and organising for going away? Is it dh?

Lovemusic33 · 12/02/2019 17:14

I like to go away in school holidays but the February half term I tend to want to spend at home in my pj’s doing not a lot. Make plans for Easter or May bank holiday when the weather is warmer.

hammeringinmyhead · 12/02/2019 17:16

But... I have been away in Feb twice in the UK, New Forest and Cornwall, and it is a bit eerie. Empty pubs, empty forest car parks for walks. It's more of a cosy couples, pub meals time of the year.

MrsJayy · 12/02/2019 17:17

It isn't negative to want to stay at home it is a preference. Would your dh take the kids away somewhere on his own. Dh used to take ours to a theme park when they were teenagers because i would rather poke my eyes out than spend the weekend at Alton towers !

slcol · 12/02/2019 17:20

Perhaps he goes away for a week with the kids, and if they are in this country you go and join them for a few days?

spinabifidamom · 12/02/2019 17:22

What about day trips instead? I’m planning to take DS and DD to a museum next week. Get him involved. Ask him to do some research on suitable places to visit. Alternatively you could make a list of family activities to do. Also check magazines for families as well. My local library has lots of information and events for families too.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 12/02/2019 17:24

I can see why he's got the February blues but unless you can get away to the sun nowhere is going to feel much like a holiday at this time of year. What sort of going away did he have in mind?

Mayrhofen · 12/02/2019 17:25

Yanbu at all! I get like this simply because DH works very long hours so I get all the pleasure of organising it, booking everything, getting the currency, getting everyone’s clothes all washed before hand, booking the cats in the cattery, taking the cats to the cattery, booking the car etc and when we get back the same in reverse including the mountains of washing.

Tbh, I can’t be arsed.