I can see this being a long one as I don't want to drip feed.
Exh and I split up 8 years ago, the children were 3 and 5. At that time I suggested he have the children on Sundays an we came up with 10 till 6. Over the years I have asked to increase this and been told no. I said Sundays so that's what we stick to.
The children are now 11 and the eldest is a month off 14. This weekend I had to leave the house at 6am on Saturday and wouldn't be back until Monday. I asked Exh could he help out and he to my surprise agreed to have them over night on Saturday. Then drop them with my sister Sunday evening.
This is the first time he has had them over night in 8 years other than Christmas.
He said he would pick them up Saturday afternoon. so I said ok, I would leave at 6am, my dad lives over the road if they need anything and they would be fine until he picks them up in the afternoon.
DS has been spending time alone during school holidays since he started high school this has never been raised by him as an issue. DD has been left for an hour or two either with DS or by herself.
So I gets back yesterday and it turns out he has kicked off at my sister saying he isn't happy. The kids shouldn't be left to fend for themselves and get their own meals (breakfast - cereal, and lunch - bagels, crisps, fruit, so no cooking even though they can both cook simple meals) and that they shouldn't have been left to get their over night bags ready for themselves.
So AIBU to say that;
A) at 11 and almost 14 they are quite capable of putting a pair of pjs and some underwear in a bag.
B) If he were any kind of father they wouldn't need to pack an over night bag to stay at their dads. They would have the basics there already
C) if he had them overnight at the weekends like a decent Dad they wouldn't have been left alone
D) they are perfectly able to be left alone during the day for a few hours anyway
E) if he isn't happy with DS being alone why hasn't he spoken up before. He literally is alone 8am - 2pm at some point every holidays!
Basically the children weren't ready when he arrived to collect them. DS was in the middle of washing his hair and DD hadn't started her bag. This is despite me reminding her several times ( I was in touch via calls and texts throughout the morning) and he gave them an hours notice of when he would be picking them up.