More a WWYD , unwanted Xmas present from DB

[2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney]

So a bit of background I don’t get on with my DB. Therefore little contact. After several grabby emails from him early November re Xmas presents I suggested we just exchanged cards this year. I received a passive aggressive email back saying they had already bought ours , were giving them anyway and we should be more organised. I didn’t respond. So pissed off I didn’t even bother with a card.

The Xmas presents have finally arrived from him. This is because he brought them to our parents house just before Xmas and they saw us recently ( we saw DP just before Xmas before they arrived) . The presents were small enough to post.

Apparently he has pestered my parents several times as to whether the gifts had been delivered or not.

We opened the gifts , they were fairly thoughtful.

So my WWYD Do I send an email just saying thank you or do I also say can we just stick to cards next year?

Dunno, but I've just realised my present to my brother is still sitting around waiting for me to post it!

Oops.

I think an email saying thanks is fine.

I’d just say thank-you, because it’s only February, and also because adding “but I don’t want anything next Christmas” takes away from the thanking somewhat. Then later in the year reiterate that you won’t be buying presents for anyone so nobody should feel the need to get you anything.

Comtesse I think part of me knows that mentioning the no presents will reduce the thank you and thinking about saying it ,is petty. I guess I am feeling petty. I am inclined to think the choice of presents, the delivery method and pestering is to make the presents all about him. I generally don’t think well of him any more and so this clouds my judgement.

He'd already bought a present so I can understand him being a bit miffed to hear 'no presents'. Don't worry about posting or not posting or giving to parents etc. Just say thank you gracefully, maybe in a card,
and leave it.

I do kind of get it as was in a situation myself with db and Christmas presents but everyone is on ok terms now we've all been civil!

Just say thank you.

The way your DB went about trying to organise x-mas present giving sounds joyless and not at all in the spirit of Christmas and giving.

I'm curious about the grabby emails he sent. Did he list things they wanted from you or suggest a certain amount he wanted you to spend?

Given that you aren't close and obviously didn't even see him over Christmas it's rather weird that he seems so obsessed with giving you a present and wanting one in return. Is it possible that he genuinely was excited to give you a present he thought you would like? My aunt is like this, she goes over the top with X-mas presents and gets upset if you don't jump up and down and scream in delight when you open your present from her. Giving presents is all about her really.

@Rainbunny yes the emails he sent were a list of the expensive things he wanted. The thing he got me was fairly cheap and a general type pressie to anyone- tin of biscuits thing (maybe about £15) and got before even asking what I might want .

DH got something I think they both probably like.

Anyway on basis of advice before I have sent a short thank you message and left it at that.