They’re headhunting for DH’s job while he’s in it

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DH heard from an industry connection that his job is being headhunted for on the quiet. Background is that his organisation is hyper critical and aggressive with horrible blame culture. He didn’t get a great review last year and an employee submitted a grievance against him (which wasn’t upheld) last year as well. He spoke to his boss last year and said he felt concerned he would lose his job and was completely reassured this was not the case and was told he was being paranoid.

We spoke to a solicitor who said that because he’s been in the organisation less than two years they can just get rid of him and pay only his notice.

This seems ridiculous. Is anyone able to offer any advice? Now poor DH has to go into work every day wondering if this is the day he’ll be told to leave. His organisation have no clue that he knows his role is being recruited for. He is obviously starting to look for a job on the quiet now but he (and I) are incredibly stressed as he’s the main breadwinner and the solicitor told us that legally they didn’t even have to pay his notice period.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Posting in AIBU for traffic.

This isn't great but really how can you say its unfair,? he's been there 15 months and in that time, he's had a bad review in year one, and a complaint, even if not upheld, obviously if the company cannot see some huge improvement ,can you blame them for looking to replace him? or is it your stance he has to possibly keep doing a job not so well- ( I go back to not great review) until he does something very wrong? this attitude of yours wont help him, nor will it help applying for his own job through head-hunter, its an incredibly stressful situation but at least you have some warning, look on this as a positive and both of you get out there looking for jobs would be my advice, with luck he'll find a better place to work for anyway, and maybe the head-hunter firm can assist him moving on- double commission for them, but advise it must be confidential,

Hard, but sometimes flexibility is needed. We live in an area which doesn't have much employment at the level that dh works at, but has a lot to offer in other ways so we don't want to move. So dh works away a few days a week and from home a couple of days. So typical week would be Monday from home, either travel after dinner or get up early Tuesday morning and head to the office. Three long days, home Thursday evening, WFH Friday. Sometimes he will go up Monday morning instead.

Can't he speak to the supplier who gave him the information in the first place to find out who the headhunter was? It might not be being advertised, but a bit of Google time might lead him to the headhunting company. Many specialise in narrow technical or industry areas. Put in the industry, key phrases of the job etc. I expect the job will be on some website, somewhere, in a very general anonymised format.

If he contacts the headhunter and does have the conversation, then there are all sorts of possibilities after that. It depends what happens and comes out of the conversation. He may glean something of the back story to give him a clearer way forward.

Yes slol that is similar to where we live.
I do have a job which pays well and has more flexibility at a senior level than anyone I know so it would be hard to match. I guess we would have to get an au pair or something if necessary which just isn’t the route I wanted to go down. Food for thought anyway and like you’ve all said at least we’ve had a heads up.

I definitely don’t think they should tolerate poor performance. However he has asked for some coaching and assistance in some areas and been hit with a brick wall. It’s fair to say though that (I imagine) he hasn’t done all he can do. I’m feeling frustrated with him because of that and as though he has put our family in a stressful situation but getting angry with him won’t help anything now.

What we're the issues in his bad review?

I don't think he should tell his employer what he knows. While job hunting, he can also be proactive at work. He can say to his manager that he is very keen to prove himself this year and he would be grateful for the opportunity to keep an open dialogue on this front. Then he can ask how the manager things things have gone in the last month, what has gone well and not so well. Similarly, he then gets an opportunity to share what he feels he has done well and they can develop targets for the next month or two. Giving them the evidence of his determination and improved performance in this way may mean they start to appreciate his strengths.

Bluntness 100. In terms of consultation, I wasn't talking about the need for consultation when exit is threatened according to the stipulations of employment law. I was speaking more generally. Companies can lay down all sorts of performance targets, guidelines, more frequent appraisals etc. to help a manager improve post-probation period.

The company, obviously, is within its rights to try to find a replacement if they're not happy.

In these instances, employees rarely remain in ignorance that their jobs are being advertised. The fall-out, when it incurs secrecy and a headhunter, is not always good.

Yes - especially since the potential candidate had signed an NDA and then went off and started talking about how he’d been approached for it 🙄

I work in HR, and just because someone has a grievance raised against them doesn't mean they have done anything wrong. That's why grievances are investigated. Often it's the strongest managers who have the most grievances raised, as they don't put up with crap from employees. Only when a grievance is substantiated would it 'count' against someone.

The poor review does not bode well though. Agree with PP that the only real option for OP's DH is to get looking for something else. Would he consider interim work?

It sounds like your DH needs to find alternative employment. Fast.

Well the NDA makes it entirely a different matter. Perhaps he should say he knows, as it might put them off the proposed candidate. Only if he can do it in a light way that doesn't sour relations. Do you know if this person wants the job?

Generally when a person is underperforming they need to be supported before being sacked, so the secret recruitment process and NDA stink of flouting their responsibilities.

Yes he would consider interim work. In his industry it can be fairly lucrative.

I don’t want to go into too much detail but I do believe the grievance was from a disgruntled employee who’d been in the business YEARS and wanted out with a large cheque. She raised 2 against two senior people and the other one was sacked straight after the investigation. There were very thorough investigations on both fronts with many people being interviewed etc.

The performance review is a worry though and knowing him well I can see the areas he fell down on

genevieva that’s what I mean about a highly unpleasant culture. There’s been no support either positive or official performance management.

I’m feeling frustrated with him because of that and as though he has put our family in a stressful situation but getting angry with him won’t help anything now

Please don't get angry or even frustrated. As others have said, sometimes a job just isn't a good fit. I have been utterly rubbish at holding down jobs (longest is about 5.5 years) and have been "let go" a few times (albeit in my case with a decent pay off each time as I'd passed the unfair dismissal time period in each case). My husband has never once criticised me, or said I don't do enough to keep my job, or been anything but supportive. This may be a one off for your DH and his next job might be fine. Or it might not, but if you are earning well it should not matter. Unfortunately once you've had one bad experience it can follow you around - paranoia, loss of confidence or just being in the wrong industry.

He can look for another job, consider interim work as others have said, or is there scope for him to do some freelance work while he looks for something else?

I left my last role voluntarily (for a change - too little money for too much commuting, in a nutshell) and am freelancing while I work out what to do next.

When you say he had a bad performance review - was it bad or was it just not good? In my second to last job the reviews were graded from 1-5 with 1 being high (and almost impossible to get) and 5 being performance management time. Most people get a 3 but they do it on a bell curve so somebody has to get a 4. It's rubbish if you work in a really high performing team. Is your DH's company like this?

How do you know they signed an nda?

On the manager who was terminated, are you saying this was without cause? It doesn't seem to tie up to your throrough investigation thing. Was her complaint held up against that manager but not your husband? It kind of doesn't make sense if she was just a disgruntled employee for them to fire someone following the investigation.? It seems she had a case.

She was underperforming.

She definitely had a case against the other guy who was a bully. (Substantiated by others)

Her case against my DP was that he’d not supported her enough (he’d consulted with Hr about how to handle this woman’s underfeormance and they’d advised performance managing her). She was pissed off she was being performance managed.

They said they’d signed an NDA

They get reviewed on a scale of 1-4, he got 3 which is “could do better”... so it wasn’t awful but it wasn’t amazing. I’m not making excuses but it is a really hard environment to perform well in unless quite frankly you’re a bit of an arse. Lots of back stabbing and blame, very old fashioned.

I’m not going to get angry with him at all - I actually think this could be a good thing for his career as that place doesn’t bring out the best in him - it is just likely it will mean compromises on family time and money.

If they're head hunting he's soon to get the sack. I wouldn't want that on my references. He needs to look for a new role agressively not on the quiet.

It won’t be on his reference though will it? Surely they’ll do a “ssh go quietly” type thing. That’s how this organisation generally rolls

The NDA is a cock up on the part of the recruiter.

However, less than two years, a grievance and a bad review I'd be looking for another job pronto.

Can you say what field this is in?

It must be very stressful for your DH, still having to go to work every day. But perhaps he isn’t a good fit for this role or does not performs well enough. His bad review pretty much indicates that. There are two sides to this story, the human story of worrying about job security and then a company that seeks high performing staff. In some industries, you can’t coast along anymore and will be replaced if you don’t meet targets/expectations. At least, he knows and can look for another job rather than getting sacked out of the blue.

Ooops I missed a few update while typing. It might be a blessing for your DH to change from this toxic environment to something less soul crushing. Even if this means a drop in household income, his wellbeing longterm is important. He risks serious burn-out and stress related health issues.

How's he going to burn out when he's strolling off home at 5.30/6 every day?

Getting a 3 they expect him to resign.

The solicitor is wrong , they do have to pay his notice period